Baby's First 3 Months:
Since being blunt is my specialty I'm going to tell you like it is. It bites! The first couple of weeks are nothing short of difficult. You have a baby who is convinced night time is party time and day time is made for sleeping (and if they are anything like my child, naps are no longer than 30 minutes). Your house is a mess, every meal you eat is cold and good luck sneaking in a shower or brushing your teeth.
Everyone tells you "it's a love like you've never known" WRONG! Now it is but not at first. Don't get me wrong, I've loved my baby from the start but when she cries and cries and cries, well, you could imagine it is tough to feel warm and fuzzy. It's much more of a "what the hell child! Why won't you stop crying". Frustrating and exhausting. There were definitely occasions when I wondered what I had gotten myself into and how in the world I was supposed to continue. And then things started to get better.
All of a sudden she started sleeping at night for longer stretches, staying mostly asleep during her middle of the night feeds and the crying went away almost completely.She now has 3 naps a day at almost the exact same time everyday. We are trying to sleep train her so that she will self soothe and fall asleep on her own. Its not a fun process but eventually it will help.
What's even more interesting is about 2 weeks ago I stopped pumping and decided to feed her all formula (with an occasional breastmilk bottle from my frozen stash). It was a really hard decision to stop but my stress level was sky high because I was having supply and pump issues. Since switching she has been happier for sure. Funny what a full belly will do. My guess is that consistent calories are helping her, when I was pumping the amount of fatty milk would vary and the less there is the less filling it is. The only thing it hasn't helped with is night time sleeping. She still doesn't sleep through the night which I was hoping the formula would help with but 4 hour sleep stretches are manageable at least.
The other awesome change is that she really only poops once a day! Hallelujah! In the early days I was shocked at how much poop could come from such a tiny baby and gradually it starts to slow down, thank god for that.
Mom's First 3 Months:
In 2 words... NOT SEXY. Just yesterday I woke up, said good morning to Steve and then went to shower before I headed out on a road trip for the day. As soon as I looked in the mirror I was shocked that Steve still welcomed me with a warm smile. I must have rubbed my eyes during the night because under my eyes were completely black. I roll out of bed in a whole new level of disarray these days. My hair is a disaster and the word "groggy" doesn't quite cover my lack of energy.
I'm just now getting to the point where I am feeling better about my physical progress. My stomach was always a point of pride for me so it's a real challenge to get past the fact that its a little more jiggly and puffier than I would like. I'm looking forward to the day when I can snuggle up to Steve and not think about how my stomach feels to him.
The baby feeders are deflated now too. Since I've stopped pumping my milk has dried up and left the ladies looking like ski slopes. Good thing we have push up bras!!
The other major change, and thank goodness I was warned about this, is hair loss. Remember that luscious thick hair you had during pregnancy? Well it stays with you until you stop breastfeeding. And then you could swear you are balding. I've lost so much hair I'm surprised there is any left on my head! And it is shocking how fast it happens. I stopped pumping and then quite literally a few days later I'm showering and chunks of hair are coming out. Do yourself a favour and don't let that shit go down the drain. No one wants to clean out wads of hair from the drain, we clean up enough yucky stuff already.
Getting Through It All
Just keep telling yourself it will get better, because it actually does! And take it slow, one day at a time, one week at a time, before you know it months have passed and you actually know what you are doing and what your baby needs even though she doesn't do any better of a job telling you.
My How She's Changed
My little bobble head baby is now holding her head all on her own. She still needs a bit of support on her back because she likes to lean back and then her little abs cant pull her back up. Any minute now she is going to roll over on her own. I actually had a dream last night that she did it so I'm convinced its happening today. She is a chatter box full of little coos, squeals and grunts. Next step, GIGGLES!!!!
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