Long Over Due Update

I'll be honest... this is a wine induced post.

With hubby-to-be out at a birthday party and baby in bed, I started reading through my old blogs and reminiscing about the past 10 months of my life.  It's truly amazing the amount of life you forget in just a few short months. Like for example just how much of a hellion was my precious angel in those first few weeks. I don't really remember, see, thats how mother nature tricks you into having more.

Speaking of having more, no no I'm not pregnant. Don't get all over excited. In the early days of our life with Ella people would often ask me if I wanted more children. My thoughts were something along the lines of ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY!!?!?!?! I mean really, I still had so much extra weight to lose, my baby refused to nap or sleep, breastfeeding was a gong show, she had an entirely white mouth from thrush and had baby reflux. A second baby was the last thing I wanted to think about.

Now, I can't wait to go through that craziness again. Well, in truth, I CAN wait. But it is something I look forward to in a huge way. I like to think that the next time around I will be better able to absorb and enjoy the small moments. This time I'll know what I'm doing, at least until I get a totally different baby who through his or her own curve balls at me. 

The last 10 months have been the most amazing of my life. Spending every day with our little girl has been rewarding, exhausting, boring (at times), thrilling, hilarious and so many more emotions. Watching this tiny human, in such a short time, go from a completely helpless little being to a determined and independent little girl is incredible. She spends her days crawling after Cooper (our cat), hugging her stuffed animals (and occasionally me too, which OMG is the best feeling ever!), walking from toy to toy to couch to toy, eating solids and feeding herself some snacks. She sleeps 13 hours at night and has 2 naps during the day. She now has 6 lil chompers and they are the funniest thing ever! So many gaps between her teeth and they are still kinda useless. She is 31 inches high and close to walking on her own.

As for me, I'm back to work in less than a month. I'm kind of freaking out about it. We will be relying on family and friends to look after Ella since I'm only working weekends. By nature, I NEED to plan every single detail of everything. Not really having a perfectly set plan for child care is making me a little crazy but I am trusting that it will all work out. As for weight loss, I'm back to my skinny self. My weight is right back where it used to be, my wedding dress is too big and my stretch marks are harder to notice. I am also embarking on a new journey. I've enrolled in school (for the 4th time, ugh) and am in the process of getting my mortgage broker license. I'm going back to my finance roots (I worked in accounting and banking for 5 years before radio) and choosing a job that I can do from home that doesn't involve selling tupperware. Oh and I totally found my first grey hair. Ugh.

Now, as I finish my glass of wine, I reflect on how thankful I am for so many things. For my super supportive friends, family and fiance. For my boss, who understands exactly why family comes first and works WITH me to find the right balance. For every reader who ever took a moment to read my writing. And of course, for the little girl who has brought an insurmountable amount of love into my life, who makes me want to be the best mommy possible, who makes me proud every day and shows me what pure joy is. 

GOOD Husbands Apparel Review

I was recently introduced to a trio of ladies who have started their own clothing line for babies and kids. Back in October, Katie, Tracy and Dayna started Good Husbands Apparel. In a world that is dominated by big box stores it is refreshing to find a LOCAL company who makes trendy and cute clothing for the kiddies.

Ella is the proud new owner of their town shirt which is super Vancouver focused, naming parts of the city (although I'm not sure about the "railtown" part).

Initial Thoughts:

So Soft! The second I touched this t-shirt I immediately noticed how soft the cotton is. Much nicer fabric than typical baby clothes. I loooove me some Carter's clothing but this is just so much cozier.

I also really like that they chose to print the wash instructions and label on the fabric itself. This seems to be pretty standard for baby clothes but its definitely a nicety.

The only downside I've noticed so far are the wash instructions. They indicate that the item should be washed in cold water and give the option of either a hang dry or a tumble dry on low. I just can't be bothered to dig this out of the mounds of baby laundry to hang dry it and it will more than likely always be washed in warm water. With the amount of drool and food that end up on her clothes, I just don't trust cold water to get it all out.

How does it fit?

Ella is 6 months, 17lbs and 29 inches long. She wears clothing in the 6-12 month range, 9 month being pretty ideal. This is a 6-12 month size shirt and it is too big at the moment. As you can see in her photo the neck is just a bit too wide. Although that wide neck makes it REALLY easy to slip over her big head.

The majority of her clothing is Carters so thats the only size comparison for me. She has a 9 month t-shirt that fits great, I would say if you are used to Carters sizes this Good Husbands Apparel shirt would be closer to a 12 month.


I washed it, and....

I was a little scared to run this through the wash for fear that it would shrink too much, pill a lot or just get ruined in general. I was pleasantly surprised when it came out of the wash. My washer is a piece of trash and IT decides on its own what temperature the water will be. We have very little control over that. Any given load could be washed in scalding or frigid or somewhere in between. I believe this particular load was closer to warm than hot and it held up great! It went straight into the dryer and when I checked this morning it looked exactly as it had before washing! Super impressed. Have to no fear mama's! Wash and dry to your hearts content. Now I'm sure that if you wash in cold and hang dry it will last much much longer but for how short a period they wear clothing I say don't burden yourself!

Final Verdict:

Buy it! This is a great quality piece of clothing. Really nice fabric, washes well and is local. That's the key for me. It's always nice when you can support a company from right in your backyard. 

Want your own!?

You can buy Good Husbands Apparel online here. They have 4 different designs, including a totally cute sloth t-shirt. Come December they are hoping to launch a pullover, toque and onesie. If you would rather see and touch the clothing for yourself, you can check out their designs in the trendy Lynn Steven Boutique in Vancouver.

Follow them on Instagram too! Every once in a while they give away free swag!

Week 1 of Insanity

Wow. I'm an idiot. Why! Why did I ever think this was a good idea. 

My first workout was "plyometric cardio circuit" and it sucks balls. I watched the DVD ahead of time so I knew what to expect and I actually said out loud "What!? That was the WARMUP!!??" 

Oh sweet Jesus this workout is going to give me a run for my money. This DVD consists of mostly jumping. You look like friggen Tigger. Only not nearly as cute. Much less cute actually. The scraggly hair pasted to your head with sweat, the bambi legs post workout, not hot. 

I'll be honest, I took a lot of breaks and I didn't even finish the DVD. At 4.5 months post partum there are still a few body issues. My pelvis is still painful when I isolate each leg separately. And my abs get sore very quickly. By the time we finished the endless sets of power squats, ski jumps, mountain climbers etc etc etc my body was hurting. I stopped the DVD with 13 minutes left. I felt guilty but my first priority is to help my body get stronger not make existing issues worse.

WORKOUT #2

I was defintely dreading this. Now that I knew what I was really in for, I was sooooo not excited to continue. The second workout was Cardio Power and Resistance. I would say its one of the easiest (and my easiest I mean still really friggen hard" dics in the set. There is a bit less jumping, not by much. I just found it was an easier workout for me. I can't do push ups right now, not because my arms aren't strong enough because lord knows toting around a 15lb baby has made my arms stronger than ever, but because my abs can't support me yet. 

After completing the WHOLE workout (with some breaks) I was feeling much more positive that I could do this. 

WORKOUT #3

Recovery.... they give you a glimmer of hope thinking today will be an easy workout... ummm no. There is very little jumping (thank god for that!) but there is a lot of strength work. Lots of squats into squat holds into squat pulses all one after another with no breaks. I was shocked that I still broke a sweat but I guess you are still workin hard, just in a different less Tigger-ish way. 

WORKOUT #4

Pure Cardio aka Fuck My Life.... Oh my fuck. Thats all I can say to describe this... Cardio, more cardio, more cardio oh and no water breaks! Really!?!?! UGGGGH! 

I managed to get through it, but it was one hell of a challenge. 

WORKOUT #5

Yet to happen.

Here's the issue with the program and my life. I have a lovely hubby to be that busts his butt and works 7 of 8 days. 4 of those days are shift work 12-13hr days. Since we live in a condo, our home is not exactly perfect for a jumping workout. If we were ground level I would do these after Ella goes to bed but that isn't the case. I try to fit them in when Steve is home to watch her for 45 minutes. And then real life gets in the way like it always does. These are too instense for me to do first thing in the morning ( I get lightheaded ). 9pm at night doesnt exactly scream "Time to jump for 45 minutes and do it with a smile on your face". Honestly once Ella is in bed and Steve gets home I just want to spend time with him. 

So, moving forward, I will do the workouts when I can. It will not be daily. I am still going to mix in runs (which I had stopped because what freak of nature can learn to run 5k AND do a 45 jumping routine in the same day) Instead of this being 60 days it will probably get stretched out to 4 months and thats ok. The important thing is that I am trying something new and pushing my own personal boundaries.

Insanity Workout DVD's AKA Certain Death Disguised as Fitness

I've officially lost my mind... 

My wedding photographer mentioned to me that she had the Insanity DVD's and I for some unknown reason took her up on her offer to borrow them. What. Have. I. Done. 

The whole process starts with a fit test. Also known as "let me show you how unfit you actually are".

It consists of 8 exercises. You do each for 1 minute and record how many you can do. Every 2 weeks you do it again and your supposed to see improvement. 

The exercises (and my results) are:
Switch kicks 68

Power Jacks 34

Power Knees 80

Power jumps 0 (way too loud for an apartment exercise)
Globe Jumps 10

Suicide jumps aka burpees aka worst exercise ever in the history of the world 5
Push up jacks 12

Low Plank Obliques 34

I'll be honest... the fit test is hard. Makes me scared to do the actual workouts. The bright side is that the workouts are "short" around 35 minutes. Do able. Kinda. Maybe. I hope. 

Physically my starting point is this... 

129.4 lbs. 

Bust: 32 

Waist (at belly button): 31 

Hips/Butt: 36 

Thigh: 21

Fit tests are to be done every 2 weeks until the end of the program (2 months). I'll do an entry after every fit test with new measurements and general thoughts. 

Wish me luck...

Our Sleep Story

Oh sleep, truly the most elusive thing when you have a baby. When these cute little creatures first enter our lives they have night time parties and crash all day long. Thanks a lot nature, I just had a 32 hour labour, major surgery, a child who doesn't feed properly and now you design them to have nights and days mixed up. WTF did I ever do to you!?

Thankfully, by some miracle these tiny humans sort out their shit and start sleeping more at night and having daytime parties. I had a friend recommend early on "The Baby Whisperer" sleep book. I had every intention of following this method of early sleep training but when our feeding problems persisted it was next to impossible and I quickly abandoned structured feeding for on demand feedings. Then Boo Bear (aka tiny human, aka Ella Bean, aka Wiggles) was diagnosed with acid reflux and we had a very fussy baby on our hands.

Now, 3 months into this adventure this Momma wants her evenings and nights back.

Here's how it was BEFORE we started sleep training. Ella would wake up around 6am (give or take). Sometimes she would eat a little then sleep some more, sometimes not. Then around 9am she would get fussy and I would feed her another bottle until she fell asleep. She would nap for a short time (45 -1hr if I was lucky). Then she would wake up crying, eat some more, spend some time being happy and then be fussy and feed to sleep again. This cycle goes all day until late afternoon when the fussiness really ramped up. To the point where she couldn't even calm down enough to eat. We had a seriously over tired baby on our hands. She usually wouldn't be down for the night until 10pm ish. Not exactly convenient for us. She needed to be tended to on a regular basis, especially at night time. And yet again, she needed to be fed to fall asleep.

Now I didn't actually mind the eating to fall asleep thing because it was easy. She was quiet and content, but we were clearly fostering a habit. Not to mention the middle of the night bullshit that was still going on. As Dr. Ferber states in his book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" a 3 month old baby no longer has a nutritional need for a middle of the night feeding. They can go 10 hours without eating at night and be just fine. Well Miss Ella had created a habit of waking between 1:30 and 2:30 (depending when she fell asleep) and wanted to eat to fall back asleep (starting to sense the issue?). Now, it's only 1 time at night but when you go to sleep at 11pm then wake up a couple hours later, feed her, put her down, and go back to sleep only to wake up another few hours later, it gets tiring.

How does one fix this problem....

There are a lot of different methods out there and everyone has an opinion on them. I bought 4 sleep books used from a swap group and had read an article that sort of cleared up the Cry It Out (CIO) method. Initially, I didn't think I would be able to listen to Ella cry without being there to comfort her, but in the past few weeks her cries have become less jarring. I decided (and Steve supported) to use Dr. Ferber's method. The CIO method.

Now before you go all "how can you let her cry" or "poor baby, she must feel abandoned" or "your going to cause brain damage" blah blah blah... Let me explain the true process, it's really not so bad.

It's naptime (or bedtime) and you put baby down awake (but ready for sleep). I give her a rub on the tummy and a kiss on the forehead and leave the room. Because this isn't her usual way to go to sleep she is naturally not impressed with me. She cries. After 5 minutes I go back in, rub her tummy, tell her everything is ok and that I'm just outside her room. I leave the room again, even if she is still crying. This time I wait 10 minutes. If she is still crying I repeat the process. Enter, rub tummy, tell her its ok, leave. Now, I wait 15 minutes.  Repeat this every 15 minutes until she falls asleep. If it's naptime, only leave her for an hour and then abandon the process and try again for her next nap.

Soooo I bet your wondering how this has all worked out for me... Well that first night sucked big time! She was right pissed off with us. She fell asleep eating at 8pm (I hadn't decided to start that night until after putting her down and her waking up instantly, again, like she always does). That's when it began. She took an hour or so to finally go down. Slept til midnight-ish. Was up for another 45 - 1 hour. Steve and I alternated going in. Then she had another wake up but went down much faster. Then she decided to wake up 40 mins earlier than what we wanted her wake time to be. We chose to wait til that wake up time to get her up for the day (we did go in to soothe though).

Now for the daytime routine... When she wakes up from a nap we feed her a full bottle and then we have waketime. Playing, reading books, eating her monkey etc. Then when she shows signs of tiredness we put her down for sleep. As per the book "Baby Wise" this process is about 3 hours long. And Ella was right on schedule. We repeated this all day and by her 3rd nap she was falling asleep with less than 5 minutes of crying. 


We are only 24 hours into this process but she has already made huge strides! The one thing that still needs some work is her nap length. "Baby Wise" explains that a baby who wakes up crying after a nap hasn't had enough sleep. They should wake up content and cooing. We are not there yet. She still wakes up after every nap (which is usually only 45 minutes to an hour) crying loudly. The suggestion is that you allow her to cry for 10 minutes and she should settle back down and sleep a while longer. I'll be adding that to the mix tomorrow.

So far tonight she napped at 5:30, woke up at 6:30 crying, she ate, couldnt stay awake so I put her back down. After a little fussing she went back to sleep and now at 9:30 she is still asleep. I'm curious to see how overnight goes. I'll be sure to update this in a week and let you know how much has changed.

Here's to sleeping through the night!

Night 2: she slept from 8pm to 6:30am. Woke up happy. 

Day 2: went down for her naps well. Cries no more than 10mins. Then at 5 we put her down and had to abandon nap time after an hour of crying. She had another bottle (half) then she stayed up til 730 when she looked tired. 30mins in she was still crying. We fed her and she fell asleep. Not ideal but at some point we needed to know she ate enough. 

Night 3: she woke up at midnight per usual but this time took 30 mins to settle down. One belly rub and kiss from me which seemed to make it worse. A brief waking at 2 then up and happy at 630.

**UPDATE**

1 MONTH LATER:

Our lil babe sleeps through the night, every single night (except last night which I'm pretty sure is linked to "4 month sleep regression). She now naps well during the day and wakes up from her naps happy and smiling. Very rarely will she wake up crying. We finally have a well rested and happy baby! She giggles and smiles and plays contently by herself or with us. It is a huge change!

Letting her cry for short periods of time has actually helped us distinguish her cries more accurately. She doesn't really even cry most of the time, its more  like an annoyed fuss. The one downside is that I feel quite tied to her schedule. She can usually stay up for 1.5 - 2 hours after waking up from a nap. Much longer than that and she gets grumpy and has a hard time falling asleep (she's OVERtired). If she falls asleep in the car I can't move her from the car seat because she will wake up, she also doesnt sleep long enough in the car seat.

In general though, sleep training was the best thing we ever did for our family. On top of sleep training, sticking to a schedule of SLEEP, EAT, PLAY, SLEEP is vital!

3 Months Down, A Lifetime To Go

In one weeks time our tiny human will be 3 months and quite frankly I can't believe we survived it! On several occasions we were told "just get through the first couple months". How true is that!!!

Baby's First 3 Months:

Since being blunt is my specialty I'm going to tell you like it is. It bites! The first couple of weeks are nothing short of difficult. You have a baby who is convinced night time is party time and day time is made for sleeping (and if they are anything like my child, naps are no longer than 30 minutes). Your house is a mess, every meal you eat is cold and good luck sneaking in a shower or brushing your teeth.

Everyone tells you "it's a love like you've never known" WRONG! Now it is but not at first. Don't get me wrong, I've loved my baby from the start but when she cries and cries and cries, well, you could imagine it is tough to feel warm and fuzzy. It's much more of a "what the hell child! Why won't you stop crying". Frustrating and exhausting. There were definitely occasions when I wondered what I had gotten myself into and how in the world I was supposed to continue. And then things started to get better.

All of a sudden she started sleeping at night for longer stretches, staying mostly asleep during her middle of the night feeds and the crying went away almost completely.She now has 3 naps a day at almost the exact same time everyday. We are trying to sleep train her so that she will self soothe and fall asleep on her own. Its not a fun process but eventually it will help.

What's even more interesting is about 2 weeks ago I stopped pumping and decided to feed her all formula (with an occasional breastmilk bottle from my frozen stash). It was a really hard decision to stop but my stress level was sky high because I was having supply and pump issues. Since switching she has been happier for sure. Funny what a full belly will do. My guess is that consistent calories are helping her, when I was pumping the amount of fatty milk would vary and the less there is the less filling it is. The only thing it hasn't helped with is night time sleeping. She still doesn't sleep through the night which I was hoping the formula would help with but 4 hour sleep stretches are manageable at least.

The other awesome change is that she really only poops once a day! Hallelujah! In the early days I was shocked at how much poop could come from such a tiny baby and gradually it starts to slow down, thank god for that.  

Mom's First 3 Months:

In 2 words... NOT SEXY. Just yesterday I woke up, said good morning to Steve and then went to shower before I headed out on a road trip for the day. As soon as I looked in the mirror I was shocked that Steve still welcomed me with a warm smile. I must have rubbed my eyes during the night because under my eyes were completely black. I roll out of bed in a whole new level of disarray these days. My hair is a disaster and the word "groggy" doesn't quite cover my lack of energy.

I'm just now getting to the point where I am feeling better about my physical progress. My stomach was always a point of pride for me so it's a real challenge to get past the fact that its a little more jiggly and puffier than I would like. I'm looking forward to the day when I can snuggle up to Steve and not think about how my stomach feels to him.

The baby feeders are deflated now too. Since I've stopped pumping my milk has dried up and left the ladies looking like ski slopes. Good thing we have push up bras!!

The other major change, and thank goodness I was warned about this, is hair loss. Remember that luscious thick hair you had during pregnancy? Well it stays with you until you stop breastfeeding. And then you could swear you are balding. I've lost so much hair I'm surprised there is any left on my head! And it is shocking how fast it happens. I stopped pumping and then quite literally a few days later I'm showering and chunks of hair are coming out. Do yourself a favour and don't let that shit go down the drain. No one wants to clean out wads of hair from the drain, we clean up enough yucky stuff already.
 
Getting Through It All 

Just keep telling yourself it will get better, because it actually does! And take it slow, one day at a time, one week at a time, before you know it months have passed and you actually know what you are doing and what your baby needs even though she doesn't do any better of a job telling you.

My How She's Changed

My little bobble head baby is now holding her head all on her own. She still needs a bit of support on her back because she likes to lean back and then her little abs cant pull her back up. Any minute now she is going to roll over on her own. I actually had a dream last night that she did it so I'm convinced its happening today. She is a chatter box full of little coos, squeals and grunts. Next step, GIGGLES!!!!

Post Baby Weight Loss

I wouldn't hesitate to say that losing baby weight is among the top goals of moms. As I promised many weeks ago, I've been tracking my own weight loss and will indeed share with you the physical changes, even though it makes me extremely nervous and self conscious. After all, here I am, the stereotypical skinny girl who now has a budda belly. Talk about being out of my comfort zone.

During my pregnancy I went from 125lbs to 168lbs. Ouch! So much for trying to control my weight gain. Damn those sour keys. So I put on 43lbs in total but still figured I could drop a lot of it and very quickly. And then labour happened and I ended up with an unexpected c-section. That certainly threw a wrench in my plans.

As per doctors orders I was unable to workout for 6 weeks. No lifting anything heavier than my baby and no activity except for walking. I'm far too much of a busy body so against my doctors orders I started lifting the stroller and car seat between 3 and 4 weeks. I told myself that I had more than enough arm strength to do this without over engaging my core. Thankfully I managed not to screw anything up with my recovery.

For the first 5 weeks, aside from lifting the stroller, all I did was walk. Day by day I got faster and stronger and thinner (kinda). Once the 5 week mark hit my busy body gene got the best of me. I couldn't stay out of the gym any longer. I was very careful, only lifting 7.5lb weights and walking on a treadmill. I tried many different exercises only to find out my core was still far too weak to do them, so I didn't.

What surprised me the most was how quickly I regained strength and stability. By week 6, I was able to do all my normal exercises, albeit at lower weights. Now at week 9 I am about 90% back to usual. I can't do any jumping exercises and traditional ab work is off limits. My abs separated during pregnancy (no shocker there considering I carried soooo far forward) which means I need to rehab them to get them to come back together without me doing further damage.

As for weight loss numbers, by 4 weeks postpartum I had dropped 29lbs with very little effort. I was pumping 8 times a day (usually every 2 - 3 hours) and eating A LOT! I started taking fenugreek and blessed thistle for milk production and the blessed thistle made me soooo hungry! Now at 9 weeks postpartum I have lost 36 lbs. There are only 7 measly pounds left.

In all honestly I would actually be totally fine if I stayed at this weight (132lbs). It's a totally healthy and normal weight for my height but it's my damn belly that I can't wait to get rid of. Prepregnancy, my waist measured 27 inches. At the end of my pregnancy it ballooned to 43 inches. Now I sit at 33 inches and its making me crazy! I am desperate to have my flat tummy back. Yes yes I know, I'm only 9 weeks out, and I had a c-section blah blah blah-diddy-blah. It still makes me nutty.

I've been stuck in this awkward stage where my maternity shorts are far too big but my prepregnancy shorts/pants are too tight (can you say mega muffin top!?) or they don't do up at all. Yesterday I finally found a pair of shorts that will work for the in between time. I chose a high-waisted (can you say mom jeans?) jean short. Anything low rise cuts my tummy at exactly the WRONG spot. They are 2 sizes bigger than what I "normally" wear but man does it feel good to wear something that fits!

****UPDATE**** I'm now 5 months post partum and almost completely back to normal. My ab separation has gone down to about 1 finger width and I am stronger than I was before I was pregnant. I can lift heavier weights at the gym and my cardio is better too! I can jump again but push ups are still evading me. Its something about my core strength. It's ok, I don't really like push ups anyways lol. My weight is stuck at 129lbs and I'm totally good with it. There is a little bit of loose skin still and my belly button will never ever been an innie again but for the most part my body is back. Keep the faith, it will come if you work at it!

**** ANOTHER UPDATE ****

I'm now 10 months post partum and  almost totally back to my prepregnancy body. My measurements and weight are all what they used to be however physically there are still a few trouble spots. Remember my broken crotch? Thats still haunting me. I have a hard time isolating each leg without pain. My hip flexors have always been tight but seem to be extra tight still. My abs are still slightly separated but when I flex they touch again! YAY! After seeing a personal trainer I've learned I have an over developed trap and lat on opposite sides and that is all because of holding Ella on the same side all the time.  Overall, I"m feeling great in the gym, stronger that before and continuing to improve.

***** JANUARY 2016 UPDATE *****

I'm not 18 months post partum and can officially say all the trouble areas are free from pain. Finally!! The past year and a half has flown by and I wish I could have told myself to be patient and believed that I would get back to where I wanted to be if I just gave myself time. If you are on your journey back to a pre baby body, be patient. It'll come. Do it gradually and you will succeed! I've uploaded a current tummy image, aside from that wrinkly outie of a belly button that annoys me I am extremely pleased and proud of my results.

So here is the incredibly intimate, makes me anxious and want to throw up part... the belly visual. Below is a weekly (mostly) progression of my weight loss journey. Can't believe I'm doing this....

Here is my 19 month post partum photo... took a lot of time to get here but I am so very proud of myself for sticking with it!