Week 18 - Clinically Insane I'm Sure

Taken minutes apart, totally different looking belly

Quick Recap: Mood swings are back. 10lbs up. All maternity clothes all the time. Baby is crazy active before bed. Skin is the best its been, and yet my doctor notices the acne for the first time!? WTF


Peanut's Progression: Almost 6 inches long. 6.5 ounces (about the weight of a chicken breast). Bones are hardening. Can yawn now. Nerves are making connections especially the senses (seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching)


You Sure I'm Not Clinically Insane?

When looking up insane and irrational in the dictionary my face is now officially pictured beside the definition. The majority of this week was "normal" but my moments of insanity were off the charts.

I dare you to try and find logic in these two instances: 

1) I woke up stiff from sleeping in one spot too long. Even after shifting to the other side I was uncomfortable. So what do I do? Almost burst into tears because its the worst thing ever! WHY OH WHY at 28 years old do my hips ache like I'm 80!? And WHY is Steve taking up 40% of the bed! I mean talk about a bed hog! And this damn body pillow! Could it take up any more real estate? Wait, no. I'm sorry pillow, I love you. Oh and Steve... yes I love Steve too. Cooper (our cat) thinks this is a perfect time to walk up and stand on my sore hip. I'm immediately even more upset until moments later I realize it is actually helping. Smart kitty.

2) After a normal shift at work, no annoying callers, no major mistakes, I head home and the moment I walk in the door everything begins to irritate me. Like EVERYTHING! My internal thoughts included (but are not limited to) "why are the boys home right now" "No, why is he leaving me to go to the gym" "what is wrong with this water" "could these 5 minute fries cook any slower" "SHUT UP fire alarm! I'm NOT burning dinner" "Where is the hammer, this fire alarm must die"

Yet Another New Name 

In the past week our little babe has become very active and strong! Without fail, during my shifts at work I will feel little shifts and kicks here and there. Then at night, as soon as the lights go out, it's party time! All that wiggling has brought on a new nick name... Wiggles!

Tuesday night Wiggles was particularly wiggly (notably after 2 bowls of gelato). 10 minutes of constant kicking, punching and back flips. I could feel the movements in so many places I have actually started to worry there is a party of two in there.... Oh... My... Gawd... That will be a whole new level of freakout if we find out its twins. But it couldn't be. Right!? I mean there are no twins in our families. The 1st ultrasound only showed one baby. Our doctor has only ever found one heart beat... Right!? It can't be twins RIGHT!? Please someone talk me down from this ledge!

Most Magical Sound

I caught the baby's kick on video this week and although I share A LOT on social media, I also think we share too much. Too many intimate moments become public moments and lose their "specialness". So with that being sad, I've decided not to share the baby kick video. That is a special moment for only those closest to me.

However!!! I do want to share with you the "whomp whomp whomp" sound I described in Week 13. It's not super clear but you can hear the heartbeat behind the clicking noises. Ahhh I've listened to this clip too many times to count, just the most amazing thing!



2 weeks to the halfway mark and only days till we get to see our lil wiggles again!

Now Taking Belly Bets!!!

I'll post updated predictions on a weekly basis... So far its 61% Girl... 

Here are some common wives tales and where I fit in to help you :)

Heart rate: 
Above 140bpm = Girl. Below 140bpm = Boy. 
My baby was 151 last appointment.

Shape of Belly:
If you are carrying high with a big, round belly, you are having a girl. If you are carrying low with a smaller belly that sticks straight out, it’s a boy. 
I am carrying low and its as though I swallowed a basketball.


Acne:
If you have acne while pregnant, it’s a girl. It’s thought that acne during pregnancy is caused by the extra hormones.  
I've had terrible acne the whole time

Cravings:
People believe that if you are craving salty foods while pregnant, you can count on having a boy. If you crave sweets, fruit, and orange juice, you are having a little girl.  
All I can say is sour keys and apples...


Mom’s Beauty:
It is said that the girl “steals” the mother’s beauty. If you think that pregnancy has never made you look more beautiful, a little boy it is.
This one is up to you to decide

Side You Most Rest On:
If a pregnant woman prefers to lay on her left side, she’s having a boy. If she prefers resting on her right side, she’s having a girl.
I sleep on my back (cleared by my doc) and right side

Dad’s Weight Gain:
If the dad-to-be gains weight while you are pregnant, it’s a girl. If he doesn’t gain weight, you’re having a boy.
Steve is still at his pre-pregnancy weight... lol

Morning Sickness:
If you had a smooth pregnancy with no morning sickness, it’s a boy. If you were sick or felt really nauseous during your pregnancy, count on a girl.
I was nauseous but never sick

Protein:
When a pregnant woman craves meat and cheese, count on a boy.
Love me some cheese and steak, aversions to all other meat though.

Feet:
Are your feet colder now that you are pregnant? If so, you just might be having a boy. If your feet have stayed the same before pregnancy and during, you’re having a little girl
My tootsies are colder

Headaches:
If you are having headaches, you might be carrying a boy 
Yep, roger that on the headaches

 

Survey hosted by Surveylyzer

Week 16: Fat jokes ALREADY!?

OMG OMG OMG this cannot wait for its own section!

I can feel our little miracle move! Last week at yoga (which was much better this time around btw) my Mom told me she felt me move around 16 weeks. I thought it was going to take much longer so I quickly became OBSESSED with feeling the baby flutters. I poked my belly intentionally to try and make Peanut wiggle just so I could see if I can feel it.

A few nights during the week I thought I felt some new movements/feelings but wasn't always sure. Then after the gym I DEFINITELY felt it! I was driving home and felt a distinct long flutter in my abdomen, too low to be mistaken for tummy gurgles. Wow! I mean he/she must have been doing a backflip it felt so neat! Ahhh just typing this makes me so excited to feel that little flutter again! Amazing!

***NEW FEATURE*** 
Peanut's Progression: About 4.5 inches long (from head to bum). Weighs about 3 ounces. Ears are functioning, meaning he/she can hear my terrible singing. Has eyebrows and eye lashes.

Quick Recap: Still occasional headaches. Pants are getting tight. Nasal congestion. Back in the gym! Much less moody.


Fat jokes... ALREADY!?!:

Part of me didn't want to post this as it seems to just attract the attention the poster was looking for but it's also a super common problem for pregnant women and it deserves a discussion.

This week I posted the photo on the left on my Facebook page and it got this comment from a man "OMG you are huge! We should get you a country radio station and call you big rig"

WTF is wrong with you. That is a joke!? Weight is already an issue for almost every woman out there and now you want to tell a pregnant one who isn't even half way through that she is huge?! Fuck you. And to top it off, after telling him that it is a terrible thing to say to a pregnant woman, he tells me to "calm your hormones".

Too many friends have shared with me the "big" "huge" "large" comments men (I'm sure women have done it too) have made directly to them during their pregnancy.  Do NOT by any means describe a pregnant woman using an adjective that could mean big, ever. Instead stick with the safe and polite comment "Congratulations! You look great!" Done and done, everyone leaves the situation happy and you can comment to your friends later about how you think she looks like a blimp.

Although the commenter on my Facebook page would never know, his timing was actually terrible which brings me to the next topic....

Gym insecurities:

The same day that "big rig" comment was made I had my first gym workout since my belly has popped and my dizziness has subsided. It was good and bad. Good because I finally had energy to get through a whole workout without being lightheaded or really out of breath, and I even had energy for the rest of the day. Bad because it brought up a whole new level of body issues. Hence why the fat joke was really bad timing.

When I got pregnant I was at my physical fitness peak. I was the girl in the gym that could lift with the boys. When at my ladies only gym, I used the heaviest available weights and was proud of it, in fact sometimes frustrated that I didn't have access to heavier weights. First world problems, I know. So, instead of flashing my toned legs in shorts, and my flat abs in a tight tank, I wore my comfy and stretched out Lululemons, a t-shirt and a hoodie.

It was a strange battle in my mind, at first I was excited to show off my bump but then it halted with the thought that other people may not know its a baby. Maybe they think I'm at the gym because I love donuts too much. These thoughts only got worse as I found myself unable to push myself physically. I was the lazy girl at the gym, who wasn't working hard enough to see results. I made every effort to push my tummy out more to make it CLEAR it was a tiny human miracle and not a Krispy Kreme... or 10.

Thankfully these thoughts don't arise on many occasions but it sure showed me how much insecurity I really do have and how tough this process really can be. It's not just the realizations that you are going to be a Mom (which in itself is more than enough to handle) but its also coping with your physical changes and accepting your new body for the miraculous human growing machine that it is.


I'm aware that this weeks entry wasn't the most upbeat with the negative weight comment and my insecurities at the gym but I suppose in a way it reflects the true nature of pregnancy. One minute you are on top of the world and the very next moment one simple thing can ruin that feeling. A happy week 17 here we come!

Week 13 - Sarcasm Sucks, Bump Denial, Whomp Whomp

Almost one week post announcing Peanut to the world (well at least Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest):

I received so many lovely messages and comments from both people close to me and those whom I've never met. It would be impossible to feel unloved and unsupported after an outpouring like I received. Amazing! And I am truly thankful!

Quick Recap:

WHY is my morning sickness back!? WTF!!! Seriously its like Week 7 all over again!  Down 3lbs from pre-pregnancy weight, again WTF. Baby Bump be poppin. Very dizzy. Foods taste funny, not in a good way.

Sarcasm Sucks!

There is one joke that is getting old, FAST. "Hey congratulations! You should name your kid after me!" Many things have exited the building during my pregnancy, like for example, my ability to jog up the stairs without being short of breath or how about blow drying my hair and my arms going numb in mere minutes. Along with that, my usual appreciation for sarcasm has also left, I'm one big party pooper when it comes to "jokes" regarding my pregnancy. This is the biggest and most serious life change for me, EVER, you joking about it means you are trivializing it. Visualize Joker saying "why so serious", because I'm f*$&ing pregnant that's why!

When thinking about why the name joke in particular bugs me and possibly other prego peeps, this is what I came up with. We spend hours obsessing over names, sifting through baby names online, in books or in apps. We find one we love, our partner hates it. Like most people we purposely avoid using names of those we know or have had bad experiences with. Case and point: I will never name my child Brendan because of a kid in elementary school who used to steal the swings. However, Brandon could totally be a contender all because of a couple different vowels!

I will not share our favourite names with you but I can assure you it will not be your name. (my internal dialogue as I finish writing that mini rant is that Mothers will understand non-Moms will not, a statement I always resented before getting pregnant.)

From what I can remember (baby brain) 5 people have said this to me so far. 

The imminent bump!

After weeks of waiting for the inevitable baby bump to show I now find myself in denial that it is really here. This couldn't possibly be a baby bump, I'm just bloated, for the 13th week in a row! I mean c'mon, lil Peanut is only 3 inches long, how could such a tiny baby make my pants tight. Stage 1 of denial consists of laying on my back in bed and running my hands over my abdomen deciding if I've popped out more or not. Stage 2 of denial, staring at my belly profile in the mirror (pre- morning pee) and convincing myself its just my full bladder that pushes my stomach out. Stage 3 of denial, re-evaluating my side profile post morning pee. Stage 4 of denial, flexing my abs to show the "true baby bump" and not just me pushing out my bump.

I suppose the real sign that my belly is growing, and not from too many sour keys (oooh totally just remembered I bought more! Snack time!), is that although I can button up my jeans and wear them normally, the second I eat anything that button HAS to be undone. I pull a full on Al Bundy and pop open my pants and slip my hand in the waist band to rub my tummy. Some of my sexiest moments!

Part of me is sad to admit I'm actually having a hard time embracing my belly. I've always been thin, and my stomach was always my favourite part of my body. Now I'm really struggling to accept that it is constantly pushed out and I'm trying very hard to love and accept it. By far the biggest body change of my life and it's just going to take some time to adjust. Anyone else have these kind of issues? How did you manage to feel sexy again?


Whomp Whomp Whomp Whomp

THAT is the best description in word form I can think of to describe Peanut's heartbeat. I had another doctors appointment and was able to hear the lil heart beat for a much longer time than at my dating ultrasound. His estimate was about 150bpm. It was strong and steady and couldn't have made me any happier. Miscarriage has been a very big problem for the women on my Mom's side of the family so getting past the 1st trimester and hearing such a great heart beat was exactly what I needed to know everything was going exactly as hoped.

New this week:

I won't be able to feel kicks for a few weeks still but on occasion I totally know where Peanut is just by feel! When I press on my uterus I can feel the spaces where it is empty and easy to press in, and then there will be one spot where it feels "full" and that there is something in the way. A lil human, that's what's in the way!!! ;) 

UPDATE: Can't really tell where Peanut is anymore, all of a sudden everything has firmed up and I can't really feel anything but firm muscle.