Week 30 & 31: Finally Loving my Junk in the Trunk

Quick Recap: Up 35lbs Ugggggghhhh.... Good energy levels. Skin is clear! No stretch marks. Faaaat feet/ankles. Pelvis pain is improving. More patient and relaxed than I've ever been.

Peanut's Progression: 16 inches long. 3lbs 5oz. About the weight of a coconut. Getting fatter and less wrinkly every day. Loves to push it's lil feet into my ribs and sides.

And In This Corner, Weighing In At...

Now at 31 weeks pregnant, I've reached the top end of where I should be for weight gain for my entire pregnancy. 2 months left and I've hit the 160lbs mark. Honestly all I can do is laugh now, and that's exactly what I do. We spent the last week in Mexico and I thoroughly enjoyed the food. I wouldn't describe it as excessive but I sure didn't deny myself the desserts. I knew full well that coming back I would have put on weight so jumping on the scale I wasn't all that surprised. 6 pounds in 7 days. What's that doctor? I'm supposed to gain 1 pound per WEEK? You sure its not per DAY!?

Honestly though, at this point what can I really do. I'm not about to "diet" and try to maintain this weight or lose some. My Mom put on 50lbs with me so maybe a part of this is genetic.Thankfully I don't look like I weigh 160lbs which leads me to ....

Dum Dum Dummmmm Bikini Time!

If you are a regular reader of my blog you already know the battles I've had with my changing physique and my absolute terror when it comes to baring my belly in a bikini. Somewhere along the way I just accepted my tummy and embraced it and began to love it. I've been constantly reassuring myself that once the baby is here I'll be able to bounce back no problem.

So how did the whole bikini thing go??? It was actually awesome! I am so glad I didn't waste money on a maternity swimsuit!!  We went into Cabo for a Vegas style pool party as a part of our vacation away. Obviously, being surrounded by tonnes of fit and beautiful people all partying and drinking up a storm made me feel a bit out of place. Any discomfort I was feeling was quickly squashed by the lovely comments I got from complete strangers. Of course my friends have been so kind and are always reassuring me that I "look great" but there is just something about a total stranger taking a moment to tell you something kind. I am so flattered that women expressed the desire to look like me when they got pregnant. I mean how sweet is that!? I'm so busy feeling like a blimp and others are thinking the exact opposite. Those feel good moments are exactly why I didn't have a meltdown when I stepped on the scale this morning. I may weigh 160lbs,  have a bit more junk in the trunk, my arms "have meat on them" (as my doctor pointed out), my thighs rub together when I walk and I certainly have some solid love handles going on but all that doesn't matter one bit. No one else sees my new bum dimples, they see my beautiful baby belly and the miraculous life that I'm carrying.

31 weeks in and I have completely, wholeheartedly embraced this change.


Next up: Traveling in Mexico while pregnant...

Week 29: Hot Sweaty Mess

Quick Recap: So sweaty! Cankles keep growing. Pelvis pain is manageable. DIY Diva.

Peanut's Progression: Weighs 2 lbs 10 oz (close to a butternut squash). 15 inches long. Bones are hardening. Lungs and muscles getting stronger.

Project Supermom

In my never ending attempt to save money I've been searching out DIY's for baby. Anything from sewing my own cloth diaper covers to homemade baby wipes. This week I searched out baby safe laundry detergent. I tested it out on a load of our clothes and they seem to come out clean. I made a batch large enough for about 120 loads for a cost of approximately $8. I purchased all the ingredients from Walmart in Bellingham. Used the whole box of washing soda, 75% of the Borax and half of the bar soap. Check out the recipe below.

Baby Safe Laundry Detergent:

1 Part Zote Soap (castille soap) finely grated ($0.97/bar)
2 Parts Washing Soda ($4/box)
2 Parts Borax ($4/box)

Use a fine cheese grater to grate the Zote soap. In a airtight container mix all ingredients together. That's it. That's all. SUPER easy! 

1/8 cup to 1/4 cup per load depending on size and dirtiness.

Next up is the DIY baby wipes which I probably won't post until after baby because I'll want to test them prior to telling you they are awesome.

Oh Hai There Anxiety!

With 10 weeks to go, it's crunch time and with that has come a boat load of anxiety. A wide range of concerns including my ability to mother a child, building a connection with our baby, how our cat will react to the little one, whether or not Steve is actually happy to be having an unplanned baby etc etc etc. The list goes on and on and logically I know I don't need to worry about any of this but my mind sure does like to run through a million scenarios and freak me the hell out.

Holy Hot Flashes!

Oh. My. GAWD! Why is it SOOOO hot while I sleep!? The past 2 nights I've started waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. Why the hell can't my body wake me up when I start to get too warm rather than after I've already sweat through the sheets and am a sweaty hot mess. Our heat has been off completely and February isn't exactly known for being too hot to sleep.

The other night, I partially woke up and realized I was uncomfortably hot, so instead of kicking off the covers I began vigorously lifting and lowering the covers to essentially fan myself, moments later Steve wakes up and asks if I'm ok. Shit! How did I manage to forget I share the bed with someone else and that my cover shaking could possibly wake them. Total middle of the night baby brain blonde moment.


FUN FACT: your blood clots faster during pregnancy and for about 6 months after birth.

Week 28: Ugly Cry Time!

Quick Recap: 151lbs (up 26). Belly measures: 38 inches around. Retaining water like a mofo. Crotch is still broken. Stroller drama.

Peanut's Progression: 15 inches 2.25lbs. Brain is developing more tissue. Has more defined sleep patterns in 20-30 intervals.

Feeling Fat + Being Pregnant = Ugly Cry While Using Excess Amounts of Body Butter

One of the best things about my 2nd trimester (which Steve will probably also agree with) has been my stable emotions. I hardly ever have mood swings anymore and when I do they aren't the completely irrational clinically insane kind. Well, that is until this week.

Monday was a long day. I MC'd an event and spent a lot of the day on my feet in heels. Little did I know, that was the beginning of the end. The days I spend more time standing, my broken crotch acts up and is more painful so a nice warm bath was exactly what I needed to help me relax. Except that wasn't quite the result.

Sure, initially it was lovely. Warm water relaxing my muscles. Closing my eyes and enjoying a moment of silence and then... Then. I opened my eyes and saw it! Or rather saw what was no longer there. My feet and ankles had swelled to epic proportions. They may as well be mammoth feet! I feel sorry for my neighbours beneath us, because these beasts must make quite the racket.

That was only the beginning. I managed to enjoy the rest of my "relaxing" bath, albeit the whole time scrutinizing my fluffy footsies. As they say, all good things must come to an end. And it sure came to a screeching halt when I got out of the tub. I began my routine of lotioning up and let me tell you. DO NOT INSPECT YOUR THIGHS! I took one look at those buggers and burst into tears. Who thought a couple extra inches on your legs could cause such a fuss.

Just picture it... I'm sobbing, and we're talking full on ugly cry here folks. But still I continue to slather on the body butter. Just a hot mess. I pulled myself together but instantly fell apart again when Steve came home and asked if I was ok. Thinking back, my smeared mascara, blood shot puffy eyes and snotty nose probably gave me away. I was pure sexy in that moment.


Where Are All The Strollers!?

I've had my eye on a specific stroller for a while now. It's affordable ($130) and is compatible with our carseat (without an adapter). In the past few weeks I've started feeling a sense of urgency to get the stroller. A major case of FOMO (fear of missing out). I concluded, it would be silly to buy a stroller before we move because it is just one more thing to move and who wants that!

I do! I want that! I want that stroller!!!!

Well we moved in and went off to Walmart to buy the stroller, we are casually strolling to the back of the store to the baby section, I am getting excited to look at it and finally buy it. We round a corner and BAM! I am left with my mouth gaping open. EVERY. SINGLE. STROLLER.  Gone!!!! No where to be found. GONE GONE GONE!

Frantically I find the first salesperson I can get my hands on and as calmly as possible (which probably sounded more like I was about to have a breakdown) say "ummmm excuse me.... where are the strollers? Did they get moved?" She respsonds with "They are all sold"

WHAT!? How can they ALL be sold!? Why doesn't she seem as panicked as I do!? Doesn't she realize my baby will not survive without this exact stroller!? Life as I know it is over! I'm never going to find that stroller again. I'm going to HAVE to drop more cash to find one even remotely suitable. Seriously, why isn't she worried that they have ZERO strollers. She hates children, she hates my baby.

Then she proceeds to tell me they are waiting for the 2014 stock and they don't know when they will come in. So in essence she is telling me that I'm going to give birth before they get stock. PANIC PANIC PANIC.

Steve squashed my near meltdown reassuring me that we will find another stroller, there are plenty of Walmarts. Since I don't want to guess when they will get new stock we are planning to go to the states and buy our stroller there. God help me if we get there and they are out of stock too!

***** UPDATE *****

After posting this entry a friend on Facebook found the stroller I was looking for on a local swap group. I ended up getting the model I wanted, in neutral colours for only $25! Its in great shape and only needs one minor fix to a tire (which will cost $10 max). We still went to the states to pick up other items and ended up seeing that the Bellingham location of Walmart had ZERO 3 wheel strollers so thank goodness for Facebook swaps!

Week 19 - A New Big Girl Bra!

Quick Recap: Fastest week yet! Tired (mostly from working too much). Belly button now flat. Strongest kicks yet.

Peanut's Progression: 6 inches long. 9 ounces in weight. Starting to swallow amniotic fluid. Kidneys continue to make urine. Hair on the scalp is sprouting.  If it's a baby girl, she already has roughly six million eggs in her ovaries.

Holy Cleavage Batman!

For any male readers kindly sit on your hands while I discuss my new big girl boobies. Pre-pregnancy I was usually around a 32B depending on where I was in my cycle that bra could be tight or loose. Small lil ladies that fit my small frame. Now that the hormones are flying around like cottonwood in Spring I've graduated to a big girl's 36B (and there isn't much room left)! Never, did I think I could toss on an unpadded bra of that size and fill it out let alone have cleavage.

My favourite game is putting on a slightly too small bra and reveling in my new found cleavage. I mean those suckers touch without any effort on my part! 

Belly Button Obsession

It's not lost on me that this is weird but it's tame compared to some of the topics I've discussed. I am obsessed with touching my belly button. IT'S SO SOFT! Yep, I'm officially a total weirdo. But I just can't help it. My belly button has started to pop out (just at the very top) and the rest of it is flush with my belly. I was never a belly button fondler before but now that its all out in everyone's business its hard not too. And let's review the logic of the softness... the belly button has spent its whole life tucked away in darkness away from any stimulation. No rubbing fabric, no scratches or cuts. So naturally its like the softest skin EVER! The ironic part of all of this... I really dislike outies. Pregnancy is probably the only exception to that rule.

The Source of True Happiness

Every little kick, punch or wiggle is an instant smile on my face. Last week, perhaps because of the baby's position, I didn't feel as much movement. But the past 3 days the kicking and moving has really ramped up. The other night Steve and I tried something new. We used his stethoscope to listen to the baby's kicks. It was the neatest thing! You could hear all the tummy grumbles and then these little thumps. So fun! The kicks are pretty visible now too.

I've been trying to figure out my fundus height (how far up my uterus reaches) and after staring at my stomach move for quite a while we saw a strong kick right at my belly button. As per Baby Center, that is right where it should be!


Ultrasound next week!!!

Week 18 - Clinically Insane I'm Sure

Taken minutes apart, totally different looking belly

Quick Recap: Mood swings are back. 10lbs up. All maternity clothes all the time. Baby is crazy active before bed. Skin is the best its been, and yet my doctor notices the acne for the first time!? WTF


Peanut's Progression: Almost 6 inches long. 6.5 ounces (about the weight of a chicken breast). Bones are hardening. Can yawn now. Nerves are making connections especially the senses (seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching)


You Sure I'm Not Clinically Insane?

When looking up insane and irrational in the dictionary my face is now officially pictured beside the definition. The majority of this week was "normal" but my moments of insanity were off the charts.

I dare you to try and find logic in these two instances: 

1) I woke up stiff from sleeping in one spot too long. Even after shifting to the other side I was uncomfortable. So what do I do? Almost burst into tears because its the worst thing ever! WHY OH WHY at 28 years old do my hips ache like I'm 80!? And WHY is Steve taking up 40% of the bed! I mean talk about a bed hog! And this damn body pillow! Could it take up any more real estate? Wait, no. I'm sorry pillow, I love you. Oh and Steve... yes I love Steve too. Cooper (our cat) thinks this is a perfect time to walk up and stand on my sore hip. I'm immediately even more upset until moments later I realize it is actually helping. Smart kitty.

2) After a normal shift at work, no annoying callers, no major mistakes, I head home and the moment I walk in the door everything begins to irritate me. Like EVERYTHING! My internal thoughts included (but are not limited to) "why are the boys home right now" "No, why is he leaving me to go to the gym" "what is wrong with this water" "could these 5 minute fries cook any slower" "SHUT UP fire alarm! I'm NOT burning dinner" "Where is the hammer, this fire alarm must die"

Yet Another New Name 

In the past week our little babe has become very active and strong! Without fail, during my shifts at work I will feel little shifts and kicks here and there. Then at night, as soon as the lights go out, it's party time! All that wiggling has brought on a new nick name... Wiggles!

Tuesday night Wiggles was particularly wiggly (notably after 2 bowls of gelato). 10 minutes of constant kicking, punching and back flips. I could feel the movements in so many places I have actually started to worry there is a party of two in there.... Oh... My... Gawd... That will be a whole new level of freakout if we find out its twins. But it couldn't be. Right!? I mean there are no twins in our families. The 1st ultrasound only showed one baby. Our doctor has only ever found one heart beat... Right!? It can't be twins RIGHT!? Please someone talk me down from this ledge!

Most Magical Sound

I caught the baby's kick on video this week and although I share A LOT on social media, I also think we share too much. Too many intimate moments become public moments and lose their "specialness". So with that being sad, I've decided not to share the baby kick video. That is a special moment for only those closest to me.

However!!! I do want to share with you the "whomp whomp whomp" sound I described in Week 13. It's not super clear but you can hear the heartbeat behind the clicking noises. Ahhh I've listened to this clip too many times to count, just the most amazing thing!



2 weeks to the halfway mark and only days till we get to see our lil wiggles again!

The Best Pregnancy Apps

From the moment I found out I was pregnant I began feverishly downloading apps and then deleting them because I didn't like them or they weren't very functional. I have an Android phone so there may be other apps that are awesome and only on iPhone but here are the ones I've tried, best to worst:



1) Baby Bump

Very easy to navigate. Gives you daily tips (even some for Dads). Weekly update includes your body, your baby and a health tip. Good message board/community features. You can upload a baby bump photo each week and it creates a separate album in your phone. Has a daily journal feature where you can track weight, cravings, mood, energy appetite etc. Looks nice too.










2) Baby Center

Calendar looks like a schedule allowing you to skip ahead or go back to previous tips. Weekly updates include interactive photos. Every couple of weeks there is also a video showing what your baby is doing inside. It has a checklist of things you should do ie- doctors appointment, do pelvic floor exercises etc. Does not have a photo upload feature.










3) What to Expect Pregnancy Tracker

Basically a mobile version of the book. Each weekly update includes the exact excerpt from the book. Nice simple home screen. Easy to navigate. Weekly update shows what dates you are in a certain week ( I like this for future planning, ie- how far along will I be at Christmas). Does have a photo upload but I haven't used it (I prefer my Baby Bump). Pretty basic. No extra frills. Good information though.










4) I'm Expecting

Gives you good information but seems to be off when telling you what week you are in. Most give you the week you are entering (ie- you are 17 weeks therefore you are entering week 18), this leaves you in the week you have completed. No daily tips. No photo upload. Does give you the option to enter doctor information and symptoms.










 
5) Happy Pregnancy

Very cheap looking. I think the dates are off slightly when it comes to trimesters. Baby image is even worse than Pregly. Weekly information is limited. Random facts are not related to your stage of pregnancy. Does have a neat weight feature, shows where you should be at for weight gain for your week.  Includes a contraction timer. A very basic journal.










6) Pregly

Very budget looking. Image of baby is just a pencil drawn cartoon essentially. Limited information in your weekly update. Tips/Facts are random and not associated to your stage of pregnancy. Baby name function is just a massive list of names. No way to sort or select names, kind of useless.

Week 17 - I Finally Gave In...

Quick Recap: Nothing major to report this week. Stable moods. Skin is decent. Up 6lbs from pre-pregnancy weight. No dizziness. Back in the gym. Feel like my usual self.

Peanut's Progression: 5 inches long. Weighs 5 ounces. Hiccuping. Forming some baby fat. Eyes are in the right spot. Practicing sucking. Fingerprints will form in the next week :)

New name for "Peanut":

For the past few months Steve and I have been calling our lil bundle of joy "Peanut". Well that name has overstayed its welcome. We tossed around a few ideas before coming to the final conclusion. Our roomie suggested "Corn Nut" because the baby has functioning ears now. Get it? Ears... Corn...

Then he suggested "Peanut Butter" so in the 3rd trimester we could call it "Peanut Butter Cup". His logic is actually pretty smart however it doesn't solve the problem that "Peanut" has been overused. So I went on a Google mission and found a lot of name nicknames, like "Frank" or "Maude". Didn't love that idea because we won't know if its a boy or girl. Randomly one morning Steve said "what about minion?!" It's already gotten its fair share of negative response (especially from my Mom who refuses to say it). In our mind it's a reference to the adorable yellow dudes from Despicable Me that I'm in love with.

Maternity Clothes

WHY did I ever fight this!? Maternity jeans (or as I also like to call them, "eating pants") are only the best invention EVER! I went to a great consignment sale in Vancouver and picked up a great pair of full panel maternity jeans for $17.50. They look brand new! So much so that the blue dye still bleeds on my fingers and socks.

As for other clothing finds, I picked up a belly band for $5 to hopefully extend the life of my non-maternity jeans and a great dress that will also work post pregnancy with some slight alterations.

After having a minor breakdown while staring at my closet and exclaiming "I have nothing to wear!" we made a trip to Old Navy for a few basics. I picked up the following items and LOVE them all $100 well spent.

Full panel leggings in dark grey
Polka dot sweater in navy
Cowl neck sweater in black and silver
Ruched tank in white, navy and grey

Baby on a Budget

The single biggest fear when it comes to having a baby (at least for me) is how in the world we will every pay for it all. I work part-time and do not get any top up benefits from work. I will be bringing in EI only. I've supported myself without any help from others since I moved out at 20 and the idea of having to rely on Steve as the income earner is tough. I don't want him to resent my inability to contribute an equal amount to the household. Nor do I want him to feel pressured to make more money and be away at work more.

When I really sit back and think about it, we are not in a dire situation by any means and somehow everyone makes it work, no matter how much or little money you have. I remind myself that babies need love more than anything, not a fancy crib or the trendiest stroller. They don't care and will never remember.

I am so amazed at the generosity of others! Some close friends have offered to share items with me which is amazing but the part that really surprised me is how people whom I haven't spoken to in 10 years are willing to fill my car with whatever items I could possibly need. It's as though every Mom and Dad out there remember being overwhelmed by the idea of providing for a child and want to make it as easy as possible for others.

So a HUGE (note the appropriate use of this word, not related to weight ;) ) thank you to each and every person who has given or lent us items already and may in future. My heart really is overflowing with joy and love and gratitude.


If you haven't had a chance to answer my "Belly Bets" questionnaire, check it out here. Have your say if you think its a boy or girl. When I'll give birth. How many hours of labour. Etc etc etc.

Now Taking Belly Bets!!!

I'll post updated predictions on a weekly basis... So far its 61% Girl... 

Here are some common wives tales and where I fit in to help you :)

Heart rate: 
Above 140bpm = Girl. Below 140bpm = Boy. 
My baby was 151 last appointment.

Shape of Belly:
If you are carrying high with a big, round belly, you are having a girl. If you are carrying low with a smaller belly that sticks straight out, it’s a boy. 
I am carrying low and its as though I swallowed a basketball.


Acne:
If you have acne while pregnant, it’s a girl. It’s thought that acne during pregnancy is caused by the extra hormones.  
I've had terrible acne the whole time

Cravings:
People believe that if you are craving salty foods while pregnant, you can count on having a boy. If you crave sweets, fruit, and orange juice, you are having a little girl.  
All I can say is sour keys and apples...


Mom’s Beauty:
It is said that the girl “steals” the mother’s beauty. If you think that pregnancy has never made you look more beautiful, a little boy it is.
This one is up to you to decide

Side You Most Rest On:
If a pregnant woman prefers to lay on her left side, she’s having a boy. If she prefers resting on her right side, she’s having a girl.
I sleep on my back (cleared by my doc) and right side

Dad’s Weight Gain:
If the dad-to-be gains weight while you are pregnant, it’s a girl. If he doesn’t gain weight, you’re having a boy.
Steve is still at his pre-pregnancy weight... lol

Morning Sickness:
If you had a smooth pregnancy with no morning sickness, it’s a boy. If you were sick or felt really nauseous during your pregnancy, count on a girl.
I was nauseous but never sick

Protein:
When a pregnant woman craves meat and cheese, count on a boy.
Love me some cheese and steak, aversions to all other meat though.

Feet:
Are your feet colder now that you are pregnant? If so, you just might be having a boy. If your feet have stayed the same before pregnancy and during, you’re having a little girl
My tootsies are colder

Headaches:
If you are having headaches, you might be carrying a boy 
Yep, roger that on the headaches

 

Survey hosted by Surveylyzer

Week 16: Fat jokes ALREADY!?

OMG OMG OMG this cannot wait for its own section!

I can feel our little miracle move! Last week at yoga (which was much better this time around btw) my Mom told me she felt me move around 16 weeks. I thought it was going to take much longer so I quickly became OBSESSED with feeling the baby flutters. I poked my belly intentionally to try and make Peanut wiggle just so I could see if I can feel it.

A few nights during the week I thought I felt some new movements/feelings but wasn't always sure. Then after the gym I DEFINITELY felt it! I was driving home and felt a distinct long flutter in my abdomen, too low to be mistaken for tummy gurgles. Wow! I mean he/she must have been doing a backflip it felt so neat! Ahhh just typing this makes me so excited to feel that little flutter again! Amazing!

***NEW FEATURE*** 
Peanut's Progression: About 4.5 inches long (from head to bum). Weighs about 3 ounces. Ears are functioning, meaning he/she can hear my terrible singing. Has eyebrows and eye lashes.

Quick Recap: Still occasional headaches. Pants are getting tight. Nasal congestion. Back in the gym! Much less moody.


Fat jokes... ALREADY!?!:

Part of me didn't want to post this as it seems to just attract the attention the poster was looking for but it's also a super common problem for pregnant women and it deserves a discussion.

This week I posted the photo on the left on my Facebook page and it got this comment from a man "OMG you are huge! We should get you a country radio station and call you big rig"

WTF is wrong with you. That is a joke!? Weight is already an issue for almost every woman out there and now you want to tell a pregnant one who isn't even half way through that she is huge?! Fuck you. And to top it off, after telling him that it is a terrible thing to say to a pregnant woman, he tells me to "calm your hormones".

Too many friends have shared with me the "big" "huge" "large" comments men (I'm sure women have done it too) have made directly to them during their pregnancy.  Do NOT by any means describe a pregnant woman using an adjective that could mean big, ever. Instead stick with the safe and polite comment "Congratulations! You look great!" Done and done, everyone leaves the situation happy and you can comment to your friends later about how you think she looks like a blimp.

Although the commenter on my Facebook page would never know, his timing was actually terrible which brings me to the next topic....

Gym insecurities:

The same day that "big rig" comment was made I had my first gym workout since my belly has popped and my dizziness has subsided. It was good and bad. Good because I finally had energy to get through a whole workout without being lightheaded or really out of breath, and I even had energy for the rest of the day. Bad because it brought up a whole new level of body issues. Hence why the fat joke was really bad timing.

When I got pregnant I was at my physical fitness peak. I was the girl in the gym that could lift with the boys. When at my ladies only gym, I used the heaviest available weights and was proud of it, in fact sometimes frustrated that I didn't have access to heavier weights. First world problems, I know. So, instead of flashing my toned legs in shorts, and my flat abs in a tight tank, I wore my comfy and stretched out Lululemons, a t-shirt and a hoodie.

It was a strange battle in my mind, at first I was excited to show off my bump but then it halted with the thought that other people may not know its a baby. Maybe they think I'm at the gym because I love donuts too much. These thoughts only got worse as I found myself unable to push myself physically. I was the lazy girl at the gym, who wasn't working hard enough to see results. I made every effort to push my tummy out more to make it CLEAR it was a tiny human miracle and not a Krispy Kreme... or 10.

Thankfully these thoughts don't arise on many occasions but it sure showed me how much insecurity I really do have and how tough this process really can be. It's not just the realizations that you are going to be a Mom (which in itself is more than enough to handle) but its also coping with your physical changes and accepting your new body for the miraculous human growing machine that it is.


I'm aware that this weeks entry wasn't the most upbeat with the negative weight comment and my insecurities at the gym but I suppose in a way it reflects the true nature of pregnancy. One minute you are on top of the world and the very next moment one simple thing can ruin that feeling. A happy week 17 here we come!

Week 15: I Am One Moody Foodie!

One of many future prego selfies

You know whats amazing about being pregnant? The love and support you receive from other pregnant women and Moms. There is a lot of judgement amongst women but I'm learning quickly there is MORE love! A big thank you to everyone who has sent a supportive and caring message to me. I so appreciate you taking the time to read my blog and send me loving messages about your experiences and your words of support through the tougher days.

Quick Recap: Bump is back, and I'm starting to love it. Energetic but moody. Still rockin some acne but not nearly as bad. Abs are officially MIA.

Peanut's Progression: About 3.5 - 4 inches long. About 2.5 ounces in weight. Praciting breathing and sucking.  Kicking and wiggling around. Ears are in the right spot.


I'm a proverbial swing set, moooody!

Holy wow am I ever moody! Tuesday: every word out of anyones mouth made me irritated and I was very easily frustrated. Wednesday: LOVING life. Happiest person ever. Loved my bump and dressed it up accordingly (see photo) but then on the way home from work I spent the whole car ride in a full fledged ugly cry listening to my Luke Bryan album. Thursday: wake up feeling playful but it quickly slides downhill when I eat my PB and toast, "WHY do I need to chew this bite 500 times just to swallow it!? I don't have time for this!!!" Yep, that was my actual thought process. Thankfully I have the most patient and supportive partner ever! He never stoops to my crazy level, instead he just speaks calmly and lets me have my moment of insanity praying it will pass soon.

Food!!! Oh how I love thee!

HELLOOO appetite! YES! Finally, I have my normal appetite back, I'm not talking quantities, I'm talking variety. I'm back to having complete meals with protein, veggies and whole grains. I'm glad to know the apps were right when they said you will make up for lack of nutrition later on in pregnancy when your morning sickness subsides. Oddly enough I can walk past the candy aisle and the sour keys no problem now.

Yoga

Anyone who knows me knows I'm a huge lover of yoga. I try to practice regularly and love to challenge myself with new inversions, like these. Being pregnant means you need to adjust your practice. Things like the direction you twist and avoiding work on your stomach are the most common adjustments. For me, I can no longer perform back bends the way I used to. It's as though my abs seize and I can only stretch about 1/3 of the way. Gone are the days of bribing Steven to take endless photos or video of me being bendy.

I'm having to really shift my expectations for my yoga classes, and in fact do what the teachers always tell you to "just be, don't have any expectations". I find myself frustrated after class because I can't do things the way I used to. Thursday nights are now officially my yoga night with Mom so tonight I will be practicing acceptance of my new capabilities. 

Colostrum

For you sensitive folk that don't enjoy my "tell it like it is approach" to the physical changes occurring you can stop reading now. Consider yourself warned.

I was shocked to read in my apps that around week 14 my baby feeders would start producing colostrum. All I could think was "Wow! This soon?" and then it was immediately followed by "Hmmm I wonder if I just...." Yup, if you say I can do something you better believe I'm going to try. Sure enough during a nice warm bath I managed to express some. My face must have been priceless. They work! They totally work!!!

Of course I couldn't keep this news to myself, I text one of my close Mom friends and she had a good laugh with me. Then when Steve came home I prefaced my comment with "You're going to think I'm weird but...". The best part was his reaction. He high fived me and exclaimed "Right on! Atta girl!" HAHA


Anxiously awaiting that first flutter of movement and counting down to the half way mark... 5 weeks left

Week 14 - Weight, Faint and Taint

We didn't do this but it's too funny!

Ah yes! I've finally made it to the honeymoon phase! The much anticipated second trimester. To celebrate I take a moment to admire my changing pregnant body, glimpse down to revel in my biggest boobs ever HOLD UP! WTF ARE THOSE!? Blackheads?! Since when do those show up on milk jugs!! I mean it's better than hairy nipples but c'mon! I can't catch a break on the skin side of things!

Quick Recap: So dizzy! All the time! Yoga is not the same anymore. Up and down the weight goes. Tender titties no more. Forehead acne is clearing, good thing because I'm fed up with my bangs already. Baby bump retreated back in. Weird. Headaches regularly.


Weight: I'm going to weigh HOW MUCH!?

Oh the big 'ol weight number. How women love to avoid talking about it. For the past 8ish years I've been 125lbs with very little fluctuation. Well, there was the time I hopped on the scale after my 2 week trip to Spain and tipped the scales at 137lbs. That was nearly a mental breakdown. That hiccup aside, I'm generally very stable and work very hard to keep a fit body. I pride myself on my muscles but at the same time know weight gain is healthy in pregnancy. That being said, embracing the fact that I will weigh between 150lbs and 160lbs is challenging. Of course that number will be completely normal and vital to the development of Peanut, but still 160LBS!?!? Can I choose to delegate at least a few of those pounds to my boobs? 

And talk about weight fluctuations... my pre-pregnancy weight was 125lbs, next time I weighed myself it was 129, then it was 124, then 122, then 130 (3 days later). What the hell!? I've never seen fluctuations like that ever! As T.Swift would say, like ever ever! I suppose it has to do with the whole slow bowels and retaining water thing? One good... ummm... movement... and I shed pounds, HAHA some people would kill for that!

Faint: Would the REAL Niki Saunders please sit down...

On a daily basis my life is controlled by my blood pressure. To give you an idea of how low it is... normal blood pressure (as per Heart and Stroke Foundation) is between 120/80 and 129/84. I can tell which days my pressure is really low by how long I can stay upright, on those days I measure around 92/60. LOW!  On good days I'm around 100/60, still low but I can at least stay standing. (This is actually totally normal for pregnancy but it is a total pain in the ass!)

Just this morning I went to Starbucks for a yummy Caramel Apple Spice and could hardly get through my order because I had to sit down to keep from fainting. We are talking a whole 2 minutes of standing before almost making a scene unintentionally.

Taint: Yes! The taint you are thinking, you dirty bird

I was asked this week if I was going to get an episiotomy (where the doctor cuts you to prevent tearing during birth) and I had to really think about it. I've heard horror stories about tears but started wondering about other preventative methods. Then I remember my best girl talking to me about massaing you perineum aka your taint... you know that piece of skin in between you HooHa and your, well I don't have a nickname for it so ummmm, the other hole. Do you feel like we are closer already?! This is bonding in case you were unsure.

So the idea is that you rub and massage that sexy lil spot (or your partner does it, whatever your into, I'm not judging) and it's meant to allow the skin to stretch more during a vaginal birth and thus little or no tearing... The way I figure it, there are a lot of things that aren't sexy about pregnancy so let's just add this to the pile and hubby/boyfriend/partner will thank you post pregnancy when you can get jiggy with it sooner than later!

Week 15 here we come.... 

Week 13 - Sarcasm Sucks, Bump Denial, Whomp Whomp

Almost one week post announcing Peanut to the world (well at least Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest):

I received so many lovely messages and comments from both people close to me and those whom I've never met. It would be impossible to feel unloved and unsupported after an outpouring like I received. Amazing! And I am truly thankful!

Quick Recap:

WHY is my morning sickness back!? WTF!!! Seriously its like Week 7 all over again!  Down 3lbs from pre-pregnancy weight, again WTF. Baby Bump be poppin. Very dizzy. Foods taste funny, not in a good way.

Sarcasm Sucks!

There is one joke that is getting old, FAST. "Hey congratulations! You should name your kid after me!" Many things have exited the building during my pregnancy, like for example, my ability to jog up the stairs without being short of breath or how about blow drying my hair and my arms going numb in mere minutes. Along with that, my usual appreciation for sarcasm has also left, I'm one big party pooper when it comes to "jokes" regarding my pregnancy. This is the biggest and most serious life change for me, EVER, you joking about it means you are trivializing it. Visualize Joker saying "why so serious", because I'm f*$&ing pregnant that's why!

When thinking about why the name joke in particular bugs me and possibly other prego peeps, this is what I came up with. We spend hours obsessing over names, sifting through baby names online, in books or in apps. We find one we love, our partner hates it. Like most people we purposely avoid using names of those we know or have had bad experiences with. Case and point: I will never name my child Brendan because of a kid in elementary school who used to steal the swings. However, Brandon could totally be a contender all because of a couple different vowels!

I will not share our favourite names with you but I can assure you it will not be your name. (my internal dialogue as I finish writing that mini rant is that Mothers will understand non-Moms will not, a statement I always resented before getting pregnant.)

From what I can remember (baby brain) 5 people have said this to me so far. 

The imminent bump!

After weeks of waiting for the inevitable baby bump to show I now find myself in denial that it is really here. This couldn't possibly be a baby bump, I'm just bloated, for the 13th week in a row! I mean c'mon, lil Peanut is only 3 inches long, how could such a tiny baby make my pants tight. Stage 1 of denial consists of laying on my back in bed and running my hands over my abdomen deciding if I've popped out more or not. Stage 2 of denial, staring at my belly profile in the mirror (pre- morning pee) and convincing myself its just my full bladder that pushes my stomach out. Stage 3 of denial, re-evaluating my side profile post morning pee. Stage 4 of denial, flexing my abs to show the "true baby bump" and not just me pushing out my bump.

I suppose the real sign that my belly is growing, and not from too many sour keys (oooh totally just remembered I bought more! Snack time!), is that although I can button up my jeans and wear them normally, the second I eat anything that button HAS to be undone. I pull a full on Al Bundy and pop open my pants and slip my hand in the waist band to rub my tummy. Some of my sexiest moments!

Part of me is sad to admit I'm actually having a hard time embracing my belly. I've always been thin, and my stomach was always my favourite part of my body. Now I'm really struggling to accept that it is constantly pushed out and I'm trying very hard to love and accept it. By far the biggest body change of my life and it's just going to take some time to adjust. Anyone else have these kind of issues? How did you manage to feel sexy again?


Whomp Whomp Whomp Whomp

THAT is the best description in word form I can think of to describe Peanut's heartbeat. I had another doctors appointment and was able to hear the lil heart beat for a much longer time than at my dating ultrasound. His estimate was about 150bpm. It was strong and steady and couldn't have made me any happier. Miscarriage has been a very big problem for the women on my Mom's side of the family so getting past the 1st trimester and hearing such a great heart beat was exactly what I needed to know everything was going exactly as hoped.

New this week:

I won't be able to feel kicks for a few weeks still but on occasion I totally know where Peanut is just by feel! When I press on my uterus I can feel the spaces where it is empty and easy to press in, and then there will be one spot where it feels "full" and that there is something in the way. A lil human, that's what's in the way!!! ;) 

UPDATE: Can't really tell where Peanut is anymore, all of a sudden everything has firmed up and I can't really feel anything but firm muscle.