Week 37: Wow! This Baby sure is Loved!

The favour I made for the Baby Shower

Quick Recap: 164lbs (up 39lbs from prepregnancy). Feeling big and awkward. Group B Strep negative (whoo!). Labour and delivery class. Hospital tour. Baby Shower!! :)

Peanut's Progression: Officially full term (ok time to come out now!).19.25 inches. 6.3lbs. All organs ready for the outside world.

Labour and Delivery Class

The only thing my doctor has really hounded me about is signing up for a labour and delivery class. At $50 a couple I was hesitant because I figured I could just read it all on the internet. I ended up signing us up for the class and it was well worth the $50.

If you will be delivering at Langley I highly recommend you take this class (I'll put the contact details below). Two nurses (Trudy and Sandra) teach it and they are just fabulous! They have both been working in the maternity ward of Langley for 10+ years and are very funny and sweet.

A lot of the information given I already had a good idea about (mostly because of my pregnancy app obsession) but it was a great refresher and reminder that all my questions and concerns are totally normal. The most impactful part of the class was learning that my goals for birth are very closely aligned with those of the hospital. They want to keep baby and mom and dad together as much as possible. They even wait for the cord to stop pulsing before cutting it (I was shocked that they adopted this idea and it seems to be a more midwife/naturalistic viewpoint).

You will leave with a much clearer understanding of what to expect and probably feel more confident too!

If you are interested in taking their class (and are delivering at Langley Memorial Hospital) their number is: 604-229-2241

Hospital Tour

This was mediocre. It started off with a bitter taste in my mouth because of a nurse in maternity. I was told when I booked the tour to go to the maternity ward, so I did. I was greeted not so pleasantly by a nurse who told me (as if I should know) I needed to go to the basement. Well I don't know about you but thankfully, I haven't been in that hospital for 8 ish years, and I have no idea what floor you consider the basement. Sometimes I think staff at hospitals forget that this is a place most people (hopefully) don't have to visit very often and they probably have NO idea where anything is.

Anywho, once I finally made it to the correct room the nurse leading the tour was, well, more like one of those teachers you hated in high school. Instead of telling you what you needed to know, she insisted on asking everyone. "Who knows when to call the hospital?" "Do you swaddle babies still?" etc etc... It felt like high school all over again. I was more annoyed than usual because, well, let's recap... I'm 164lbs of big bulging belly, in short shorts because I can't help but sweat ALL THE TIME, I'm sticking to these vinyl seats because I wore shorts, my boobs are itching and I sure as hell won't be scratching in front of these strangers and my brain hardly functions regarding topics I know like the back of my hand. And you want me to answer questions about something YOU are the expert on?! Don't waste my time, just tell me what I need to know and show me where to waddle myself to.

The GOOD part about the tour was, well, the tour! It was nice to see the actual ward (even though its under renovation and could look totally different when I get there). We were shown really helpful things like where to keep our snacks and food, where hubby can get extra linens and ice packs for our tender bits after birth. Seeing the rooms was great too. I was surprised how spacious they are and I was SO excited to find it had a bath tub. Momma loves herself some baths so you best believe I'll be in that tub during labour. Now if only we could add a glass of wine to the mix!!

BABY SHOWER!!!

WOW! That is the only way I can start this section. I have never felt so loved or so special (except when Steve proposed of course). Until the past couple years I've always struggled to keep friendships alive. I didn't try very hard to keep in touch and also never felt that they put the effort in either. Something switched when I moved away and I got so much better at keeping in touch, maybe it was because I was so lonely living in a city where I knew no one. It was a change for the better and I must admit I just can't get over how much support I really have in my life.

As a self professed control freak it was SOOO hard to ignore the planning process and just let my girls take over. My bridesmaids took care of everything with some help from the grandma's to be and a few others. I can't express my awe at everything they did for me and baby. They remembered how much I've loved sour keys and used them as part of a game. They had a custom cake made with the PERFECT elephant to go on top. Filled the room with balloons and streamers and had so many delicious things to eat! Even got a whole pile of classic kids books and had guests write message in them.

Speaking of guests, I had no idea so many people would want to come and celebrate our little baby with me. I was truly touched by how generous our guests were and how truly thoughtful their gifts were. My only regret is not being able to talk to everyone more. I sat that night reading through the messages guests wrote in books for Wiggles and felt guilty for missing out on some of our guests. I can only reassure myself that there will be plenty of visits once the lil monkey is here and lots of time to talk then.

I've entered the last 3 weeks of this journey with a very full heart (and belly, that cake was SO yummy!)

How to Survive Traveling While Pregnant

A lot of people told me I was crazy for traveling to Mexico in my 3rd trimester. Sure, a lot could potentially go wrong but a lot can also go right! Certainly traveling while pregnant poses its own set of challenges so if you plan on embarking on a baby moon here are some tips to get you through!

Cut off Dates

Most airlines will let you travel up until you are 36 weeks pregnant, the catch here is that the majority of Canadian travel medical insurers and cancellation insurance will not cover pregnancy related health problems after 32 weeks.

On the Plane

I'm a die hard window seat girl. I like to look outside and watch the landscape or rest my head against the side to sleep. Do yourself a favour, get an aisle seat. And get it close to the bathroom. There is nothing easy about trying to walk down the plane aisle to get to the bathroom. Inevitably someone is trying to get back to their seat and it is basically impossible not to molest them with your belly as you try to sneak by. I can't tell you how many people I belly bumped on the plane. Not cute. 

Even though its a total pain in the ass to walk the aisles it is also a really good idea since you WILL get stiff just sitting in your tiny seat for several hours.

Embrace the layover. I was actually really glad we had a layover on both our flights. It gave me a chance to walk a good amount (without having to avoid bumping people) and allowed me to get the blood flowing and release some tension.

Swelling isn't so swell

While the 3rd trimester means you are that much closer to meeting your lil bundle of joy it also means saying goodbye to your ankles. That has certainly been the case for me. Thankfully I am in the last stage at the end of winter and into spring so hot weather hasn't been an issue. Until I went to Mexico of course.

Flying, regardless of your destination, will cause your feet to swell, and I meant A LOT! I armed myself with compression nylons designed for travel, a pair of knee high socks (because my feet are always cold on planes, comfy flat shoes and a maxi skirt (because NO ONE wants to see your puffy feet!

Compression socks will run you about $30, OR you can go to Walmart and buy the nylons for $5. They work just as good! There is nothing sexy about compression stockings but they are way better than having to walk around with Shrek feet.

If you head to a hot destination be prepared to allow time to kick your feet up and relax. I made a habit of propping my feet up on several pillows before bed for at least 30 minutes. Most of the swelling stayed in the tops of my feet and ankles until I spent a whole day on my feet. I'm sitting at dinner and trying to wiggle my toes, its exceptionally hard to do. I lift my dress to expose my feet and I see that my feet are basically webbed! My toes are so fat they can hardly move independently. Pillows weren't going to help me now.

Up to my room I went and filled a bucket of ice. Grabbing the garbage can (clean obviously) I fill it with water and add some ice. I plunge my feet into the icy cold water. Oh MY GAWD! The pain! It's for the good of my feet, I'll feel better, just a bit longer. Holy wow that water was so cold but boy did it do the trick! I soaked them as long as I could bear and then propped them up for a bit. The swelling began to come down and by the next day they were much better.

Foods with high water contents will help you battle swelling also. Think cucumber and watermelon. Mint also helps so sip away on those virgin mojitos.

Eating and Drinking

I was really concerned about what I would be able to eat and drink while I was in Mexico. I certainly didn't want to be stuck with pasta and bread all week. We were at a 5 star resort and typically they have better filtration systems throughout the resort which means you can worry less about things like brushing your teeth with tap water and drinking bevvies with ice.

Initially I was worried about fruit but then I figured if I chose the fruits that were peeled and not washed they should be the safest bet. I loaded up on pineapple, watermelon, cantaloupe and honey dew. Protein was more difficult for me. A lot of the meats available are processed and I have a bit of an aversion to eggs. I love seafood and fish but I was concerned about how well they were cooked after seeing a few items a bit too rare/raw.

When it comes to drinking it can feel like your missing out on all those delicious bevvies but let me tell you, the virgin versions are DEEEEELISH! My 2 favs ended up being the blended mojito (so much better than on the rocks) and the virgin mudslide, which is essentially just milk and chocolate syrup blended with ice. Other great options are your fav fruit juice bended with ice. Pineapple with a bit of mint was really yummy too!

My biggest tip is to bring a double walled tumbler cup! You can buy them just about anywhere. Starbucks sells them but they are much more affordable at big box stores. Just be sure it is double walled, it keeps your drink super cold and the ice does not melt, even after an hour in the sun. HONESTLY! Best ever!!!

Montezuma's Revenge

This is the one thing that can really reek havoc on your vacation. The only thing my doctor cleared me to take during my trip was Pepto Bismal. Well if you've ever had a bout of tummy troubles in Mexico you already know the pink stuff isn't going to help much. My best advice is to stay hydrated (sealed bottled water of course) and keep your electrolytes up.

My, What a Nice Shade of Red You Are

I very rarely burn and if I do it is a tan by the next day. And then I got pregnant. I was prepared from the start. I slathered on 15SPF before I even hit the beach. Normally 15 was more than enough for my skin, not the case anymore. Even after several applications of sunscreen I finished the day with some very pink legs, only on one side though since I couldn't lay on my stomach.

If you are going to tan and lay around in the sun, do not underestimate how sensitive your skin is now that you are pregnant. Load up on sunscreen and use a higher SPF than you think you need.

As for tanning your back. It's a bit of feat. One of the other girls in our group packed along a floaty and it was only the greatest idea ever! It was the kind with mesh in the middle and the inflated bit around the edges. I was able to lay on my stomach in the pool VERY comfortably. My belly was weightless in the water but also supported by the mesh and my back got all the colour I could have asked for!

The other contraption I made was good for out of the pool. If they are available at your resort, rent a cabana at least one day. Well worth a couple of bucks for the comfort you get. Ours had a large mattress with big body pillows. I desperately wanted to lay on my stomach to read and tan so I placed 2 body pillows beside each other with a gap between. When I kneeled on the bed the first pillow was in front of my knees. I gently lowered down so the first pillow supported my legs and the second was supporting my chest. I belly sunk into the space between. Again whats important here is that you belly does not hang freely with no support underneath but also that your weight is not supported my your belly. Mine touched the mattress but did not support my body weight. Letting your belly hang with no support can damage the ligaments in your stomach as they over stretch trying to hold the weight.

Week 29: Hot Sweaty Mess

Quick Recap: So sweaty! Cankles keep growing. Pelvis pain is manageable. DIY Diva.

Peanut's Progression: Weighs 2 lbs 10 oz (close to a butternut squash). 15 inches long. Bones are hardening. Lungs and muscles getting stronger.

Project Supermom

In my never ending attempt to save money I've been searching out DIY's for baby. Anything from sewing my own cloth diaper covers to homemade baby wipes. This week I searched out baby safe laundry detergent. I tested it out on a load of our clothes and they seem to come out clean. I made a batch large enough for about 120 loads for a cost of approximately $8. I purchased all the ingredients from Walmart in Bellingham. Used the whole box of washing soda, 75% of the Borax and half of the bar soap. Check out the recipe below.

Baby Safe Laundry Detergent:

1 Part Zote Soap (castille soap) finely grated ($0.97/bar)
2 Parts Washing Soda ($4/box)
2 Parts Borax ($4/box)

Use a fine cheese grater to grate the Zote soap. In a airtight container mix all ingredients together. That's it. That's all. SUPER easy! 

1/8 cup to 1/4 cup per load depending on size and dirtiness.

Next up is the DIY baby wipes which I probably won't post until after baby because I'll want to test them prior to telling you they are awesome.

Oh Hai There Anxiety!

With 10 weeks to go, it's crunch time and with that has come a boat load of anxiety. A wide range of concerns including my ability to mother a child, building a connection with our baby, how our cat will react to the little one, whether or not Steve is actually happy to be having an unplanned baby etc etc etc. The list goes on and on and logically I know I don't need to worry about any of this but my mind sure does like to run through a million scenarios and freak me the hell out.

Holy Hot Flashes!

Oh. My. GAWD! Why is it SOOOO hot while I sleep!? The past 2 nights I've started waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. Why the hell can't my body wake me up when I start to get too warm rather than after I've already sweat through the sheets and am a sweaty hot mess. Our heat has been off completely and February isn't exactly known for being too hot to sleep.

The other night, I partially woke up and realized I was uncomfortably hot, so instead of kicking off the covers I began vigorously lifting and lowering the covers to essentially fan myself, moments later Steve wakes up and asks if I'm ok. Shit! How did I manage to forget I share the bed with someone else and that my cover shaking could possibly wake them. Total middle of the night baby brain blonde moment.


FUN FACT: your blood clots faster during pregnancy and for about 6 months after birth.

Week 23: Noooo NOT Norwalk!

Quick Recap: No weight gain again thanks to a bought of Norwalk. Still waiting for a call from the specialist. Braxton hicks galore

Peanut's Progression: 1.1 lbs. 11.5 inches. Very active. Skin is still transparent. Strong ass kicks!

Well Isn't That Convenient!?

This bump is proving to be quite convenient. It's the perfect little shelf for my cup of tea or container of dinner! Although it's getting tougher every week to get off the couch or roll out of bed it sure is nice to have a built in shelf so I drop less food on my belly. Yep, it seems I have lost the food to face connection somewhere along the way. I am WAY better at missing my mouth than I am at shoveling it in.

Norwalk and Pregnancy

I'll save you the intimate details but a simple Google search of Norwalk virus will clearly tell you what my New Years Eve consisted of. It was messy and terrible but thankfully short lived.

Obviously as Murphy's Law would have it, the one time I get violently ill my doctor is on vacation. Thankfully the interwebs were very helpful in my self treatment.

Important points to note: Norwalk does not transfer via your placenta to your baby. Dehydration is the biggest risk, in most severe cases it could cause preterm labour.

When it comes down to it, treatment is the same for a pregnant woman as any one else. DRINK LOTS OF FLUIDS! I opted for water, Gatorade and Lipton chicken soup.

Big Time Braxton Hicks

It comes and goes but one day this week I had at least 6 Braxton Hicks contractions. Definitely the most in one day so far. They are really just annoying and inconvenient more than anything. Out of nowhere my whole belly gets hard and tight and then randomly releases. Its actually very strange but totally normal. Kind of like how little wiggles needs to move and shake to practice and build muscles before birth, the uterus needs to practice and get ready to push that lil munchkin out.

Awaiting the Specialist

Ever since getting the news from my doc that I have a large placental lake I've been anxiously awaiting the phone call from the specialist. I suppose it couldn't have been worse timing over the holidays but my hope is I will finally receive a call next week.

Week 22: Writers Block

Quick Recap: I'm an eating machine. Up 3 inches on both my boobs and butt. Waist (around belly button) is about 34 inches (pre-pregnancy was about 27) Weighing in at 141lbs. Back pain continues. Haven't gotten a new pimple all week!!

Peanut's Progression: Weighs 1 whole pound! 11 inches long. Can sense touch now.

Writer's Block and Too Much Attention

I don't know if it was the craziness of the holidays this week or perhaps a self induced sugar coma from all the cookies and chocolate but I'm having a hard time writing an entry for this week.

Nothing really major happened this week. No weight gain like last week. No bad news from doctors. The only thing even worth mentioning is my coping with the added attention from family dinners.

For the majority of my family (and Steve's) this was the first time they have seen me since I announced we were expecting. Of course, they are incredibly excited and made a lot of comments about my shape. I am so grateful that we have a supportive family and group of friends but it can become a bit overwhelming at times when people are consumed by your belly, especially when you are still a bit self conscious of it.

It's a very odd sensation for me to feel awkward with all the attention. As an only child, and a major extrovert, I've always craved attention and now I tend to shy away from it. Just another hormonal shift I'm sure.


Post Pregnancy Project:

OK, this scares me but I also think its a great thing to share to help all women post pregnancy. As of this moment I am committed to sharing my physical transformation from pre baby, pregnant and post baby. 

My plan is to show photo progression of my stomach. I will take a photo daily after I give birth for the first week and then every couple of days to show how the body really recovers post birth. I think its an important thing for women to be able to see how REAL Mom's and NOT celebs recover and gain their body back. I will also include all my exercise and diet habits.

Likely I will continue to post on a weekly basis because let's be real, I will not have the time or energy to post daily and you don't need a daily update on my stomach!


Hmmm that didn't turn out so bad for having a mental block :)

Week 20 - Half Way!

Quick Recap: Officially half way through. LOTS of kicking. More mood swings. Skin continues to clear.

Peanut's Progression: 6.5 inches long. 10 ounces. Starting digestion. Covered in vernix to protect the skin.

Our Ultrasound

Easily the most amazing moment so far. Almost an hour of watching our baby move and wiggle. We won't get confirmation from our doctor until next week that everything looks as it should but as far as I'm concerned our baby is perfect!

Some of my favourite moments were:
- watching the heart pump and seeing the little arms flail around
- seeing the perfect outline of the feet. Just so cool to see these tiny feet with cute little toes!
- looking at the profile and seeing the baby practice sucking, swallowing bits of amniotic fluid.

We went to MedRay in Coquitlam and they were just excellent! Our tech, Victoria, was so lovely. Very kind and appreciative of how special the moment is for us. The clinic itself is clean and nicely modeled. Even the reception staff are very nice. They also provide a few photos for free :)

Mood Swings

I'd rather not re-live me losing my mind this week but I must admit I lost all control of my emotions. A completely out of character freak out. I won’t divulge the details but it involved some serious yelling and hysterical crying.  Hopefully I got it out of my system because in the days since that freak out I have been happy go lucky normal me!

We are now officially closer to the end than the beginning... so crazy!

Week 19 - A New Big Girl Bra!

Quick Recap: Fastest week yet! Tired (mostly from working too much). Belly button now flat. Strongest kicks yet.

Peanut's Progression: 6 inches long. 9 ounces in weight. Starting to swallow amniotic fluid. Kidneys continue to make urine. Hair on the scalp is sprouting.  If it's a baby girl, she already has roughly six million eggs in her ovaries.

Holy Cleavage Batman!

For any male readers kindly sit on your hands while I discuss my new big girl boobies. Pre-pregnancy I was usually around a 32B depending on where I was in my cycle that bra could be tight or loose. Small lil ladies that fit my small frame. Now that the hormones are flying around like cottonwood in Spring I've graduated to a big girl's 36B (and there isn't much room left)! Never, did I think I could toss on an unpadded bra of that size and fill it out let alone have cleavage.

My favourite game is putting on a slightly too small bra and reveling in my new found cleavage. I mean those suckers touch without any effort on my part! 

Belly Button Obsession

It's not lost on me that this is weird but it's tame compared to some of the topics I've discussed. I am obsessed with touching my belly button. IT'S SO SOFT! Yep, I'm officially a total weirdo. But I just can't help it. My belly button has started to pop out (just at the very top) and the rest of it is flush with my belly. I was never a belly button fondler before but now that its all out in everyone's business its hard not too. And let's review the logic of the softness... the belly button has spent its whole life tucked away in darkness away from any stimulation. No rubbing fabric, no scratches or cuts. So naturally its like the softest skin EVER! The ironic part of all of this... I really dislike outies. Pregnancy is probably the only exception to that rule.

The Source of True Happiness

Every little kick, punch or wiggle is an instant smile on my face. Last week, perhaps because of the baby's position, I didn't feel as much movement. But the past 3 days the kicking and moving has really ramped up. The other night Steve and I tried something new. We used his stethoscope to listen to the baby's kicks. It was the neatest thing! You could hear all the tummy grumbles and then these little thumps. So fun! The kicks are pretty visible now too.

I've been trying to figure out my fundus height (how far up my uterus reaches) and after staring at my stomach move for quite a while we saw a strong kick right at my belly button. As per Baby Center, that is right where it should be!


Ultrasound next week!!!

Week 18 - Clinically Insane I'm Sure

Taken minutes apart, totally different looking belly

Quick Recap: Mood swings are back. 10lbs up. All maternity clothes all the time. Baby is crazy active before bed. Skin is the best its been, and yet my doctor notices the acne for the first time!? WTF


Peanut's Progression: Almost 6 inches long. 6.5 ounces (about the weight of a chicken breast). Bones are hardening. Can yawn now. Nerves are making connections especially the senses (seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching)


You Sure I'm Not Clinically Insane?

When looking up insane and irrational in the dictionary my face is now officially pictured beside the definition. The majority of this week was "normal" but my moments of insanity were off the charts.

I dare you to try and find logic in these two instances: 

1) I woke up stiff from sleeping in one spot too long. Even after shifting to the other side I was uncomfortable. So what do I do? Almost burst into tears because its the worst thing ever! WHY OH WHY at 28 years old do my hips ache like I'm 80!? And WHY is Steve taking up 40% of the bed! I mean talk about a bed hog! And this damn body pillow! Could it take up any more real estate? Wait, no. I'm sorry pillow, I love you. Oh and Steve... yes I love Steve too. Cooper (our cat) thinks this is a perfect time to walk up and stand on my sore hip. I'm immediately even more upset until moments later I realize it is actually helping. Smart kitty.

2) After a normal shift at work, no annoying callers, no major mistakes, I head home and the moment I walk in the door everything begins to irritate me. Like EVERYTHING! My internal thoughts included (but are not limited to) "why are the boys home right now" "No, why is he leaving me to go to the gym" "what is wrong with this water" "could these 5 minute fries cook any slower" "SHUT UP fire alarm! I'm NOT burning dinner" "Where is the hammer, this fire alarm must die"

Yet Another New Name 

In the past week our little babe has become very active and strong! Without fail, during my shifts at work I will feel little shifts and kicks here and there. Then at night, as soon as the lights go out, it's party time! All that wiggling has brought on a new nick name... Wiggles!

Tuesday night Wiggles was particularly wiggly (notably after 2 bowls of gelato). 10 minutes of constant kicking, punching and back flips. I could feel the movements in so many places I have actually started to worry there is a party of two in there.... Oh... My... Gawd... That will be a whole new level of freakout if we find out its twins. But it couldn't be. Right!? I mean there are no twins in our families. The 1st ultrasound only showed one baby. Our doctor has only ever found one heart beat... Right!? It can't be twins RIGHT!? Please someone talk me down from this ledge!

Most Magical Sound

I caught the baby's kick on video this week and although I share A LOT on social media, I also think we share too much. Too many intimate moments become public moments and lose their "specialness". So with that being sad, I've decided not to share the baby kick video. That is a special moment for only those closest to me.

However!!! I do want to share with you the "whomp whomp whomp" sound I described in Week 13. It's not super clear but you can hear the heartbeat behind the clicking noises. Ahhh I've listened to this clip too many times to count, just the most amazing thing!



2 weeks to the halfway mark and only days till we get to see our lil wiggles again!

Week 17 - I Finally Gave In...

Quick Recap: Nothing major to report this week. Stable moods. Skin is decent. Up 6lbs from pre-pregnancy weight. No dizziness. Back in the gym. Feel like my usual self.

Peanut's Progression: 5 inches long. Weighs 5 ounces. Hiccuping. Forming some baby fat. Eyes are in the right spot. Practicing sucking. Fingerprints will form in the next week :)

New name for "Peanut":

For the past few months Steve and I have been calling our lil bundle of joy "Peanut". Well that name has overstayed its welcome. We tossed around a few ideas before coming to the final conclusion. Our roomie suggested "Corn Nut" because the baby has functioning ears now. Get it? Ears... Corn...

Then he suggested "Peanut Butter" so in the 3rd trimester we could call it "Peanut Butter Cup". His logic is actually pretty smart however it doesn't solve the problem that "Peanut" has been overused. So I went on a Google mission and found a lot of name nicknames, like "Frank" or "Maude". Didn't love that idea because we won't know if its a boy or girl. Randomly one morning Steve said "what about minion?!" It's already gotten its fair share of negative response (especially from my Mom who refuses to say it). In our mind it's a reference to the adorable yellow dudes from Despicable Me that I'm in love with.

Maternity Clothes

WHY did I ever fight this!? Maternity jeans (or as I also like to call them, "eating pants") are only the best invention EVER! I went to a great consignment sale in Vancouver and picked up a great pair of full panel maternity jeans for $17.50. They look brand new! So much so that the blue dye still bleeds on my fingers and socks.

As for other clothing finds, I picked up a belly band for $5 to hopefully extend the life of my non-maternity jeans and a great dress that will also work post pregnancy with some slight alterations.

After having a minor breakdown while staring at my closet and exclaiming "I have nothing to wear!" we made a trip to Old Navy for a few basics. I picked up the following items and LOVE them all $100 well spent.

Full panel leggings in dark grey
Polka dot sweater in navy
Cowl neck sweater in black and silver
Ruched tank in white, navy and grey

Baby on a Budget

The single biggest fear when it comes to having a baby (at least for me) is how in the world we will every pay for it all. I work part-time and do not get any top up benefits from work. I will be bringing in EI only. I've supported myself without any help from others since I moved out at 20 and the idea of having to rely on Steve as the income earner is tough. I don't want him to resent my inability to contribute an equal amount to the household. Nor do I want him to feel pressured to make more money and be away at work more.

When I really sit back and think about it, we are not in a dire situation by any means and somehow everyone makes it work, no matter how much or little money you have. I remind myself that babies need love more than anything, not a fancy crib or the trendiest stroller. They don't care and will never remember.

I am so amazed at the generosity of others! Some close friends have offered to share items with me which is amazing but the part that really surprised me is how people whom I haven't spoken to in 10 years are willing to fill my car with whatever items I could possibly need. It's as though every Mom and Dad out there remember being overwhelmed by the idea of providing for a child and want to make it as easy as possible for others.

So a HUGE (note the appropriate use of this word, not related to weight ;) ) thank you to each and every person who has given or lent us items already and may in future. My heart really is overflowing with joy and love and gratitude.


If you haven't had a chance to answer my "Belly Bets" questionnaire, check it out here. Have your say if you think its a boy or girl. When I'll give birth. How many hours of labour. Etc etc etc.

Now Taking Belly Bets!!!

I'll post updated predictions on a weekly basis... So far its 61% Girl... 

Here are some common wives tales and where I fit in to help you :)

Heart rate: 
Above 140bpm = Girl. Below 140bpm = Boy. 
My baby was 151 last appointment.

Shape of Belly:
If you are carrying high with a big, round belly, you are having a girl. If you are carrying low with a smaller belly that sticks straight out, it’s a boy. 
I am carrying low and its as though I swallowed a basketball.


Acne:
If you have acne while pregnant, it’s a girl. It’s thought that acne during pregnancy is caused by the extra hormones.  
I've had terrible acne the whole time

Cravings:
People believe that if you are craving salty foods while pregnant, you can count on having a boy. If you crave sweets, fruit, and orange juice, you are having a little girl.  
All I can say is sour keys and apples...


Mom’s Beauty:
It is said that the girl “steals” the mother’s beauty. If you think that pregnancy has never made you look more beautiful, a little boy it is.
This one is up to you to decide

Side You Most Rest On:
If a pregnant woman prefers to lay on her left side, she’s having a boy. If she prefers resting on her right side, she’s having a girl.
I sleep on my back (cleared by my doc) and right side

Dad’s Weight Gain:
If the dad-to-be gains weight while you are pregnant, it’s a girl. If he doesn’t gain weight, you’re having a boy.
Steve is still at his pre-pregnancy weight... lol

Morning Sickness:
If you had a smooth pregnancy with no morning sickness, it’s a boy. If you were sick or felt really nauseous during your pregnancy, count on a girl.
I was nauseous but never sick

Protein:
When a pregnant woman craves meat and cheese, count on a boy.
Love me some cheese and steak, aversions to all other meat though.

Feet:
Are your feet colder now that you are pregnant? If so, you just might be having a boy. If your feet have stayed the same before pregnancy and during, you’re having a little girl
My tootsies are colder

Headaches:
If you are having headaches, you might be carrying a boy 
Yep, roger that on the headaches

 

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Week 16: Fat jokes ALREADY!?

OMG OMG OMG this cannot wait for its own section!

I can feel our little miracle move! Last week at yoga (which was much better this time around btw) my Mom told me she felt me move around 16 weeks. I thought it was going to take much longer so I quickly became OBSESSED with feeling the baby flutters. I poked my belly intentionally to try and make Peanut wiggle just so I could see if I can feel it.

A few nights during the week I thought I felt some new movements/feelings but wasn't always sure. Then after the gym I DEFINITELY felt it! I was driving home and felt a distinct long flutter in my abdomen, too low to be mistaken for tummy gurgles. Wow! I mean he/she must have been doing a backflip it felt so neat! Ahhh just typing this makes me so excited to feel that little flutter again! Amazing!

***NEW FEATURE*** 
Peanut's Progression: About 4.5 inches long (from head to bum). Weighs about 3 ounces. Ears are functioning, meaning he/she can hear my terrible singing. Has eyebrows and eye lashes.

Quick Recap: Still occasional headaches. Pants are getting tight. Nasal congestion. Back in the gym! Much less moody.


Fat jokes... ALREADY!?!:

Part of me didn't want to post this as it seems to just attract the attention the poster was looking for but it's also a super common problem for pregnant women and it deserves a discussion.

This week I posted the photo on the left on my Facebook page and it got this comment from a man "OMG you are huge! We should get you a country radio station and call you big rig"

WTF is wrong with you. That is a joke!? Weight is already an issue for almost every woman out there and now you want to tell a pregnant one who isn't even half way through that she is huge?! Fuck you. And to top it off, after telling him that it is a terrible thing to say to a pregnant woman, he tells me to "calm your hormones".

Too many friends have shared with me the "big" "huge" "large" comments men (I'm sure women have done it too) have made directly to them during their pregnancy.  Do NOT by any means describe a pregnant woman using an adjective that could mean big, ever. Instead stick with the safe and polite comment "Congratulations! You look great!" Done and done, everyone leaves the situation happy and you can comment to your friends later about how you think she looks like a blimp.

Although the commenter on my Facebook page would never know, his timing was actually terrible which brings me to the next topic....

Gym insecurities:

The same day that "big rig" comment was made I had my first gym workout since my belly has popped and my dizziness has subsided. It was good and bad. Good because I finally had energy to get through a whole workout without being lightheaded or really out of breath, and I even had energy for the rest of the day. Bad because it brought up a whole new level of body issues. Hence why the fat joke was really bad timing.

When I got pregnant I was at my physical fitness peak. I was the girl in the gym that could lift with the boys. When at my ladies only gym, I used the heaviest available weights and was proud of it, in fact sometimes frustrated that I didn't have access to heavier weights. First world problems, I know. So, instead of flashing my toned legs in shorts, and my flat abs in a tight tank, I wore my comfy and stretched out Lululemons, a t-shirt and a hoodie.

It was a strange battle in my mind, at first I was excited to show off my bump but then it halted with the thought that other people may not know its a baby. Maybe they think I'm at the gym because I love donuts too much. These thoughts only got worse as I found myself unable to push myself physically. I was the lazy girl at the gym, who wasn't working hard enough to see results. I made every effort to push my tummy out more to make it CLEAR it was a tiny human miracle and not a Krispy Kreme... or 10.

Thankfully these thoughts don't arise on many occasions but it sure showed me how much insecurity I really do have and how tough this process really can be. It's not just the realizations that you are going to be a Mom (which in itself is more than enough to handle) but its also coping with your physical changes and accepting your new body for the miraculous human growing machine that it is.


I'm aware that this weeks entry wasn't the most upbeat with the negative weight comment and my insecurities at the gym but I suppose in a way it reflects the true nature of pregnancy. One minute you are on top of the world and the very next moment one simple thing can ruin that feeling. A happy week 17 here we come!

Week 15: I Am One Moody Foodie!

One of many future prego selfies

You know whats amazing about being pregnant? The love and support you receive from other pregnant women and Moms. There is a lot of judgement amongst women but I'm learning quickly there is MORE love! A big thank you to everyone who has sent a supportive and caring message to me. I so appreciate you taking the time to read my blog and send me loving messages about your experiences and your words of support through the tougher days.

Quick Recap: Bump is back, and I'm starting to love it. Energetic but moody. Still rockin some acne but not nearly as bad. Abs are officially MIA.

Peanut's Progression: About 3.5 - 4 inches long. About 2.5 ounces in weight. Praciting breathing and sucking.  Kicking and wiggling around. Ears are in the right spot.


I'm a proverbial swing set, moooody!

Holy wow am I ever moody! Tuesday: every word out of anyones mouth made me irritated and I was very easily frustrated. Wednesday: LOVING life. Happiest person ever. Loved my bump and dressed it up accordingly (see photo) but then on the way home from work I spent the whole car ride in a full fledged ugly cry listening to my Luke Bryan album. Thursday: wake up feeling playful but it quickly slides downhill when I eat my PB and toast, "WHY do I need to chew this bite 500 times just to swallow it!? I don't have time for this!!!" Yep, that was my actual thought process. Thankfully I have the most patient and supportive partner ever! He never stoops to my crazy level, instead he just speaks calmly and lets me have my moment of insanity praying it will pass soon.

Food!!! Oh how I love thee!

HELLOOO appetite! YES! Finally, I have my normal appetite back, I'm not talking quantities, I'm talking variety. I'm back to having complete meals with protein, veggies and whole grains. I'm glad to know the apps were right when they said you will make up for lack of nutrition later on in pregnancy when your morning sickness subsides. Oddly enough I can walk past the candy aisle and the sour keys no problem now.

Yoga

Anyone who knows me knows I'm a huge lover of yoga. I try to practice regularly and love to challenge myself with new inversions, like these. Being pregnant means you need to adjust your practice. Things like the direction you twist and avoiding work on your stomach are the most common adjustments. For me, I can no longer perform back bends the way I used to. It's as though my abs seize and I can only stretch about 1/3 of the way. Gone are the days of bribing Steven to take endless photos or video of me being bendy.

I'm having to really shift my expectations for my yoga classes, and in fact do what the teachers always tell you to "just be, don't have any expectations". I find myself frustrated after class because I can't do things the way I used to. Thursday nights are now officially my yoga night with Mom so tonight I will be practicing acceptance of my new capabilities. 

Colostrum

For you sensitive folk that don't enjoy my "tell it like it is approach" to the physical changes occurring you can stop reading now. Consider yourself warned.

I was shocked to read in my apps that around week 14 my baby feeders would start producing colostrum. All I could think was "Wow! This soon?" and then it was immediately followed by "Hmmm I wonder if I just...." Yup, if you say I can do something you better believe I'm going to try. Sure enough during a nice warm bath I managed to express some. My face must have been priceless. They work! They totally work!!!

Of course I couldn't keep this news to myself, I text one of my close Mom friends and she had a good laugh with me. Then when Steve came home I prefaced my comment with "You're going to think I'm weird but...". The best part was his reaction. He high fived me and exclaimed "Right on! Atta girl!" HAHA


Anxiously awaiting that first flutter of movement and counting down to the half way mark... 5 weeks left

Week 14 - Weight, Faint and Taint

We didn't do this but it's too funny!

Ah yes! I've finally made it to the honeymoon phase! The much anticipated second trimester. To celebrate I take a moment to admire my changing pregnant body, glimpse down to revel in my biggest boobs ever HOLD UP! WTF ARE THOSE!? Blackheads?! Since when do those show up on milk jugs!! I mean it's better than hairy nipples but c'mon! I can't catch a break on the skin side of things!

Quick Recap: So dizzy! All the time! Yoga is not the same anymore. Up and down the weight goes. Tender titties no more. Forehead acne is clearing, good thing because I'm fed up with my bangs already. Baby bump retreated back in. Weird. Headaches regularly.


Weight: I'm going to weigh HOW MUCH!?

Oh the big 'ol weight number. How women love to avoid talking about it. For the past 8ish years I've been 125lbs with very little fluctuation. Well, there was the time I hopped on the scale after my 2 week trip to Spain and tipped the scales at 137lbs. That was nearly a mental breakdown. That hiccup aside, I'm generally very stable and work very hard to keep a fit body. I pride myself on my muscles but at the same time know weight gain is healthy in pregnancy. That being said, embracing the fact that I will weigh between 150lbs and 160lbs is challenging. Of course that number will be completely normal and vital to the development of Peanut, but still 160LBS!?!? Can I choose to delegate at least a few of those pounds to my boobs? 

And talk about weight fluctuations... my pre-pregnancy weight was 125lbs, next time I weighed myself it was 129, then it was 124, then 122, then 130 (3 days later). What the hell!? I've never seen fluctuations like that ever! As T.Swift would say, like ever ever! I suppose it has to do with the whole slow bowels and retaining water thing? One good... ummm... movement... and I shed pounds, HAHA some people would kill for that!

Faint: Would the REAL Niki Saunders please sit down...

On a daily basis my life is controlled by my blood pressure. To give you an idea of how low it is... normal blood pressure (as per Heart and Stroke Foundation) is between 120/80 and 129/84. I can tell which days my pressure is really low by how long I can stay upright, on those days I measure around 92/60. LOW!  On good days I'm around 100/60, still low but I can at least stay standing. (This is actually totally normal for pregnancy but it is a total pain in the ass!)

Just this morning I went to Starbucks for a yummy Caramel Apple Spice and could hardly get through my order because I had to sit down to keep from fainting. We are talking a whole 2 minutes of standing before almost making a scene unintentionally.

Taint: Yes! The taint you are thinking, you dirty bird

I was asked this week if I was going to get an episiotomy (where the doctor cuts you to prevent tearing during birth) and I had to really think about it. I've heard horror stories about tears but started wondering about other preventative methods. Then I remember my best girl talking to me about massaing you perineum aka your taint... you know that piece of skin in between you HooHa and your, well I don't have a nickname for it so ummmm, the other hole. Do you feel like we are closer already?! This is bonding in case you were unsure.

So the idea is that you rub and massage that sexy lil spot (or your partner does it, whatever your into, I'm not judging) and it's meant to allow the skin to stretch more during a vaginal birth and thus little or no tearing... The way I figure it, there are a lot of things that aren't sexy about pregnancy so let's just add this to the pile and hubby/boyfriend/partner will thank you post pregnancy when you can get jiggy with it sooner than later!

Week 15 here we come.... 

Week 13 - Sarcasm Sucks, Bump Denial, Whomp Whomp

Almost one week post announcing Peanut to the world (well at least Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest):

I received so many lovely messages and comments from both people close to me and those whom I've never met. It would be impossible to feel unloved and unsupported after an outpouring like I received. Amazing! And I am truly thankful!

Quick Recap:

WHY is my morning sickness back!? WTF!!! Seriously its like Week 7 all over again!  Down 3lbs from pre-pregnancy weight, again WTF. Baby Bump be poppin. Very dizzy. Foods taste funny, not in a good way.

Sarcasm Sucks!

There is one joke that is getting old, FAST. "Hey congratulations! You should name your kid after me!" Many things have exited the building during my pregnancy, like for example, my ability to jog up the stairs without being short of breath or how about blow drying my hair and my arms going numb in mere minutes. Along with that, my usual appreciation for sarcasm has also left, I'm one big party pooper when it comes to "jokes" regarding my pregnancy. This is the biggest and most serious life change for me, EVER, you joking about it means you are trivializing it. Visualize Joker saying "why so serious", because I'm f*$&ing pregnant that's why!

When thinking about why the name joke in particular bugs me and possibly other prego peeps, this is what I came up with. We spend hours obsessing over names, sifting through baby names online, in books or in apps. We find one we love, our partner hates it. Like most people we purposely avoid using names of those we know or have had bad experiences with. Case and point: I will never name my child Brendan because of a kid in elementary school who used to steal the swings. However, Brandon could totally be a contender all because of a couple different vowels!

I will not share our favourite names with you but I can assure you it will not be your name. (my internal dialogue as I finish writing that mini rant is that Mothers will understand non-Moms will not, a statement I always resented before getting pregnant.)

From what I can remember (baby brain) 5 people have said this to me so far. 

The imminent bump!

After weeks of waiting for the inevitable baby bump to show I now find myself in denial that it is really here. This couldn't possibly be a baby bump, I'm just bloated, for the 13th week in a row! I mean c'mon, lil Peanut is only 3 inches long, how could such a tiny baby make my pants tight. Stage 1 of denial consists of laying on my back in bed and running my hands over my abdomen deciding if I've popped out more or not. Stage 2 of denial, staring at my belly profile in the mirror (pre- morning pee) and convincing myself its just my full bladder that pushes my stomach out. Stage 3 of denial, re-evaluating my side profile post morning pee. Stage 4 of denial, flexing my abs to show the "true baby bump" and not just me pushing out my bump.

I suppose the real sign that my belly is growing, and not from too many sour keys (oooh totally just remembered I bought more! Snack time!), is that although I can button up my jeans and wear them normally, the second I eat anything that button HAS to be undone. I pull a full on Al Bundy and pop open my pants and slip my hand in the waist band to rub my tummy. Some of my sexiest moments!

Part of me is sad to admit I'm actually having a hard time embracing my belly. I've always been thin, and my stomach was always my favourite part of my body. Now I'm really struggling to accept that it is constantly pushed out and I'm trying very hard to love and accept it. By far the biggest body change of my life and it's just going to take some time to adjust. Anyone else have these kind of issues? How did you manage to feel sexy again?


Whomp Whomp Whomp Whomp

THAT is the best description in word form I can think of to describe Peanut's heartbeat. I had another doctors appointment and was able to hear the lil heart beat for a much longer time than at my dating ultrasound. His estimate was about 150bpm. It was strong and steady and couldn't have made me any happier. Miscarriage has been a very big problem for the women on my Mom's side of the family so getting past the 1st trimester and hearing such a great heart beat was exactly what I needed to know everything was going exactly as hoped.

New this week:

I won't be able to feel kicks for a few weeks still but on occasion I totally know where Peanut is just by feel! When I press on my uterus I can feel the spaces where it is empty and easy to press in, and then there will be one spot where it feels "full" and that there is something in the way. A lil human, that's what's in the way!!! ;) 

UPDATE: Can't really tell where Peanut is anymore, all of a sudden everything has firmed up and I can't really feel anything but firm muscle.

So I peed on a stick... you know what that means!

I'm PREGNANT!!!

Steve and I are expecting our first bundle of joy late April ( I'm convinced its actually early May). When I started writing this post I was 9 1/2 weeks along and had only told close friends and family. Being in a career that is driven very strongly by social media I waited to post anything on any website until I passed the "safe zone" and had notified work.

In the short journey so far I'm realizing I am going to have A LOT to share and write about and I'm hoping to do it in a very REAL and humourous way.

So, let's be real, its my first baby and I am OBSESSED with my pregnancy apps. I check all 6 of them every single day, often, more than once. I know exactly what fruit our lil Peanut resembles although he/she is much more alien like than fruit like. At this point the tail is gone, thank god! But Peanut still has a massive head in comparison to its body, here's hoping that doesn't mean it also has a big ego (ugh bad joke, sorry).

Two of the things that have stuck out in my mind thus far is:

EXERCISE: pregnancy apps will tell you going to the gym will help battle your fatigue. LIES LIES LIES!!! I was very active prior to being pregnant and in the past couple of weeks I could sleep all day everyday. The days I do manage to get my ass out of pajamas and into workout clothes and then actually get to the gym I am more exhausted than ever! I am winded just looking at the gym, let alone actually getting a sweat on. My lungs attempt to leap from my chest after only 10 minutes on the stairmaster and because my blood flow has changed and blood pressure is really low, the day after my workout I have REALLY sore muscles.

OPINIONS: they really are like assholes, everyone has one. The best "advice" I've gotten comes from my good friend Lindsay who said "if I can give you one piece of advice, it would be not to listen to any negative advice". I've realized that dealing with women spewing unsolicited advice and opinions at you, often while you are completely sober and they are not, is your first training in patience before your baby comes. It is a true challenge for me to just nod my head and say "mhmm" "oh really" "interesting point" when in my head I'm really screaming "how about you stop being such a bag and drink your damn wine that I'm sure is extra delicious just because I can't have any!!! AHHHHHHH ".

I won't write an entry for every week leading to now but how about a lil recap.

Week 4: Shit. I'm late. Peed on a stick (at work of all places). Waited. Shit. There are two lines. Tell Steve. He falls to his knees, then goes into stunned silence. Happy stunned silence.

Week 5: Go to the doctor. Blood tests. Tell the parentals. Steve's mom cries, my parents don't (talk about disappointing ;) ). Acne, so much acne. Go to Vegas for my birthday. Rock a bikini bloated as all hell.

Week 6: Boobs hurt. Roomate asks "how do they hurt? Like you got punched in the boob?". Have a few panic attacks about having a baby. Tell a couple friends. Nausea, all day. Pretzels and Preggie Pops are my lifesaver!

Week 7: May as well be a teenager again the way this acne is going. And now there are strange bumps all over my back, YUP this is just awesome. No glow for me. Still nauseous, mostly just in the morning. Created a pillowcase for a body pillow = BEST SLEEP EVER.

Week 8: Love me some sweets! Don`t even mention chicken or fish. Nausea is better but shows up at random time for no reason. No bump yet. Dating Ultrasound!!! See lil Peanut and it`s beating heart! Hear it too! AMAZING.

Week 9: Don`t touch me, poor Steve can`t win this battle. Acne STILL! Won`t get better so I got bangs to cover it! No weight gain, no bump, minimal bloating. F*$% You vitamins! I take them and instantly want to hurl.

Week 10: 2nd doctors appointment. Due date adjusted to May 2. I was right. He says I have a good pelvis, thanks Mom! Acne and nausea still here, like inlaws that visit for too long. Working in the voice track room at work makes me almost pass out. Have gained 4 pounds.

Week 11: Acne is finally starting to clear! Exhausted. Dizzy, most of the time. 2 days being the grumpiest human on earth! Told my boss, mostly because I'm a terrible liar. Tiny bump starting to show. Minimal nausea.

Week 12: Finally starting to feel human again. More rested, better moods. Still lightheaded and dizzy, a lot. Haven't actually gained 4 pounds. Weight just goes up and down. Time to launch this blog!!!