Week 30 & 31: Finally Loving my Junk in the Trunk

Quick Recap: Up 35lbs Ugggggghhhh.... Good energy levels. Skin is clear! No stretch marks. Faaaat feet/ankles. Pelvis pain is improving. More patient and relaxed than I've ever been.

Peanut's Progression: 16 inches long. 3lbs 5oz. About the weight of a coconut. Getting fatter and less wrinkly every day. Loves to push it's lil feet into my ribs and sides.

And In This Corner, Weighing In At...

Now at 31 weeks pregnant, I've reached the top end of where I should be for weight gain for my entire pregnancy. 2 months left and I've hit the 160lbs mark. Honestly all I can do is laugh now, and that's exactly what I do. We spent the last week in Mexico and I thoroughly enjoyed the food. I wouldn't describe it as excessive but I sure didn't deny myself the desserts. I knew full well that coming back I would have put on weight so jumping on the scale I wasn't all that surprised. 6 pounds in 7 days. What's that doctor? I'm supposed to gain 1 pound per WEEK? You sure its not per DAY!?

Honestly though, at this point what can I really do. I'm not about to "diet" and try to maintain this weight or lose some. My Mom put on 50lbs with me so maybe a part of this is genetic.Thankfully I don't look like I weigh 160lbs which leads me to ....

Dum Dum Dummmmm Bikini Time!

If you are a regular reader of my blog you already know the battles I've had with my changing physique and my absolute terror when it comes to baring my belly in a bikini. Somewhere along the way I just accepted my tummy and embraced it and began to love it. I've been constantly reassuring myself that once the baby is here I'll be able to bounce back no problem.

So how did the whole bikini thing go??? It was actually awesome! I am so glad I didn't waste money on a maternity swimsuit!!  We went into Cabo for a Vegas style pool party as a part of our vacation away. Obviously, being surrounded by tonnes of fit and beautiful people all partying and drinking up a storm made me feel a bit out of place. Any discomfort I was feeling was quickly squashed by the lovely comments I got from complete strangers. Of course my friends have been so kind and are always reassuring me that I "look great" but there is just something about a total stranger taking a moment to tell you something kind. I am so flattered that women expressed the desire to look like me when they got pregnant. I mean how sweet is that!? I'm so busy feeling like a blimp and others are thinking the exact opposite. Those feel good moments are exactly why I didn't have a meltdown when I stepped on the scale this morning. I may weigh 160lbs,  have a bit more junk in the trunk, my arms "have meat on them" (as my doctor pointed out), my thighs rub together when I walk and I certainly have some solid love handles going on but all that doesn't matter one bit. No one else sees my new bum dimples, they see my beautiful baby belly and the miraculous life that I'm carrying.

31 weeks in and I have completely, wholeheartedly embraced this change.


Next up: Traveling in Mexico while pregnant...

Week 22: Writers Block

Quick Recap: I'm an eating machine. Up 3 inches on both my boobs and butt. Waist (around belly button) is about 34 inches (pre-pregnancy was about 27) Weighing in at 141lbs. Back pain continues. Haven't gotten a new pimple all week!!

Peanut's Progression: Weighs 1 whole pound! 11 inches long. Can sense touch now.

Writer's Block and Too Much Attention

I don't know if it was the craziness of the holidays this week or perhaps a self induced sugar coma from all the cookies and chocolate but I'm having a hard time writing an entry for this week.

Nothing really major happened this week. No weight gain like last week. No bad news from doctors. The only thing even worth mentioning is my coping with the added attention from family dinners.

For the majority of my family (and Steve's) this was the first time they have seen me since I announced we were expecting. Of course, they are incredibly excited and made a lot of comments about my shape. I am so grateful that we have a supportive family and group of friends but it can become a bit overwhelming at times when people are consumed by your belly, especially when you are still a bit self conscious of it.

It's a very odd sensation for me to feel awkward with all the attention. As an only child, and a major extrovert, I've always craved attention and now I tend to shy away from it. Just another hormonal shift I'm sure.


Post Pregnancy Project:

OK, this scares me but I also think its a great thing to share to help all women post pregnancy. As of this moment I am committed to sharing my physical transformation from pre baby, pregnant and post baby. 

My plan is to show photo progression of my stomach. I will take a photo daily after I give birth for the first week and then every couple of days to show how the body really recovers post birth. I think its an important thing for women to be able to see how REAL Mom's and NOT celebs recover and gain their body back. I will also include all my exercise and diet habits.

Likely I will continue to post on a weekly basis because let's be real, I will not have the time or energy to post daily and you don't need a daily update on my stomach!


Hmmm that didn't turn out so bad for having a mental block :)

Week 15: I Am One Moody Foodie!

One of many future prego selfies

You know whats amazing about being pregnant? The love and support you receive from other pregnant women and Moms. There is a lot of judgement amongst women but I'm learning quickly there is MORE love! A big thank you to everyone who has sent a supportive and caring message to me. I so appreciate you taking the time to read my blog and send me loving messages about your experiences and your words of support through the tougher days.

Quick Recap: Bump is back, and I'm starting to love it. Energetic but moody. Still rockin some acne but not nearly as bad. Abs are officially MIA.

Peanut's Progression: About 3.5 - 4 inches long. About 2.5 ounces in weight. Praciting breathing and sucking.  Kicking and wiggling around. Ears are in the right spot.


I'm a proverbial swing set, moooody!

Holy wow am I ever moody! Tuesday: every word out of anyones mouth made me irritated and I was very easily frustrated. Wednesday: LOVING life. Happiest person ever. Loved my bump and dressed it up accordingly (see photo) but then on the way home from work I spent the whole car ride in a full fledged ugly cry listening to my Luke Bryan album. Thursday: wake up feeling playful but it quickly slides downhill when I eat my PB and toast, "WHY do I need to chew this bite 500 times just to swallow it!? I don't have time for this!!!" Yep, that was my actual thought process. Thankfully I have the most patient and supportive partner ever! He never stoops to my crazy level, instead he just speaks calmly and lets me have my moment of insanity praying it will pass soon.

Food!!! Oh how I love thee!

HELLOOO appetite! YES! Finally, I have my normal appetite back, I'm not talking quantities, I'm talking variety. I'm back to having complete meals with protein, veggies and whole grains. I'm glad to know the apps were right when they said you will make up for lack of nutrition later on in pregnancy when your morning sickness subsides. Oddly enough I can walk past the candy aisle and the sour keys no problem now.

Yoga

Anyone who knows me knows I'm a huge lover of yoga. I try to practice regularly and love to challenge myself with new inversions, like these. Being pregnant means you need to adjust your practice. Things like the direction you twist and avoiding work on your stomach are the most common adjustments. For me, I can no longer perform back bends the way I used to. It's as though my abs seize and I can only stretch about 1/3 of the way. Gone are the days of bribing Steven to take endless photos or video of me being bendy.

I'm having to really shift my expectations for my yoga classes, and in fact do what the teachers always tell you to "just be, don't have any expectations". I find myself frustrated after class because I can't do things the way I used to. Thursday nights are now officially my yoga night with Mom so tonight I will be practicing acceptance of my new capabilities. 

Colostrum

For you sensitive folk that don't enjoy my "tell it like it is approach" to the physical changes occurring you can stop reading now. Consider yourself warned.

I was shocked to read in my apps that around week 14 my baby feeders would start producing colostrum. All I could think was "Wow! This soon?" and then it was immediately followed by "Hmmm I wonder if I just...." Yup, if you say I can do something you better believe I'm going to try. Sure enough during a nice warm bath I managed to express some. My face must have been priceless. They work! They totally work!!!

Of course I couldn't keep this news to myself, I text one of my close Mom friends and she had a good laugh with me. Then when Steve came home I prefaced my comment with "You're going to think I'm weird but...". The best part was his reaction. He high fived me and exclaimed "Right on! Atta girl!" HAHA


Anxiously awaiting that first flutter of movement and counting down to the half way mark... 5 weeks left

Week 14 - Weight, Faint and Taint

We didn't do this but it's too funny!

Ah yes! I've finally made it to the honeymoon phase! The much anticipated second trimester. To celebrate I take a moment to admire my changing pregnant body, glimpse down to revel in my biggest boobs ever HOLD UP! WTF ARE THOSE!? Blackheads?! Since when do those show up on milk jugs!! I mean it's better than hairy nipples but c'mon! I can't catch a break on the skin side of things!

Quick Recap: So dizzy! All the time! Yoga is not the same anymore. Up and down the weight goes. Tender titties no more. Forehead acne is clearing, good thing because I'm fed up with my bangs already. Baby bump retreated back in. Weird. Headaches regularly.


Weight: I'm going to weigh HOW MUCH!?

Oh the big 'ol weight number. How women love to avoid talking about it. For the past 8ish years I've been 125lbs with very little fluctuation. Well, there was the time I hopped on the scale after my 2 week trip to Spain and tipped the scales at 137lbs. That was nearly a mental breakdown. That hiccup aside, I'm generally very stable and work very hard to keep a fit body. I pride myself on my muscles but at the same time know weight gain is healthy in pregnancy. That being said, embracing the fact that I will weigh between 150lbs and 160lbs is challenging. Of course that number will be completely normal and vital to the development of Peanut, but still 160LBS!?!? Can I choose to delegate at least a few of those pounds to my boobs? 

And talk about weight fluctuations... my pre-pregnancy weight was 125lbs, next time I weighed myself it was 129, then it was 124, then 122, then 130 (3 days later). What the hell!? I've never seen fluctuations like that ever! As T.Swift would say, like ever ever! I suppose it has to do with the whole slow bowels and retaining water thing? One good... ummm... movement... and I shed pounds, HAHA some people would kill for that!

Faint: Would the REAL Niki Saunders please sit down...

On a daily basis my life is controlled by my blood pressure. To give you an idea of how low it is... normal blood pressure (as per Heart and Stroke Foundation) is between 120/80 and 129/84. I can tell which days my pressure is really low by how long I can stay upright, on those days I measure around 92/60. LOW!  On good days I'm around 100/60, still low but I can at least stay standing. (This is actually totally normal for pregnancy but it is a total pain in the ass!)

Just this morning I went to Starbucks for a yummy Caramel Apple Spice and could hardly get through my order because I had to sit down to keep from fainting. We are talking a whole 2 minutes of standing before almost making a scene unintentionally.

Taint: Yes! The taint you are thinking, you dirty bird

I was asked this week if I was going to get an episiotomy (where the doctor cuts you to prevent tearing during birth) and I had to really think about it. I've heard horror stories about tears but started wondering about other preventative methods. Then I remember my best girl talking to me about massaing you perineum aka your taint... you know that piece of skin in between you HooHa and your, well I don't have a nickname for it so ummmm, the other hole. Do you feel like we are closer already?! This is bonding in case you were unsure.

So the idea is that you rub and massage that sexy lil spot (or your partner does it, whatever your into, I'm not judging) and it's meant to allow the skin to stretch more during a vaginal birth and thus little or no tearing... The way I figure it, there are a lot of things that aren't sexy about pregnancy so let's just add this to the pile and hubby/boyfriend/partner will thank you post pregnancy when you can get jiggy with it sooner than later!

Week 15 here we come.... 

Week 13 - Sarcasm Sucks, Bump Denial, Whomp Whomp

Almost one week post announcing Peanut to the world (well at least Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest):

I received so many lovely messages and comments from both people close to me and those whom I've never met. It would be impossible to feel unloved and unsupported after an outpouring like I received. Amazing! And I am truly thankful!

Quick Recap:

WHY is my morning sickness back!? WTF!!! Seriously its like Week 7 all over again!  Down 3lbs from pre-pregnancy weight, again WTF. Baby Bump be poppin. Very dizzy. Foods taste funny, not in a good way.

Sarcasm Sucks!

There is one joke that is getting old, FAST. "Hey congratulations! You should name your kid after me!" Many things have exited the building during my pregnancy, like for example, my ability to jog up the stairs without being short of breath or how about blow drying my hair and my arms going numb in mere minutes. Along with that, my usual appreciation for sarcasm has also left, I'm one big party pooper when it comes to "jokes" regarding my pregnancy. This is the biggest and most serious life change for me, EVER, you joking about it means you are trivializing it. Visualize Joker saying "why so serious", because I'm f*$&ing pregnant that's why!

When thinking about why the name joke in particular bugs me and possibly other prego peeps, this is what I came up with. We spend hours obsessing over names, sifting through baby names online, in books or in apps. We find one we love, our partner hates it. Like most people we purposely avoid using names of those we know or have had bad experiences with. Case and point: I will never name my child Brendan because of a kid in elementary school who used to steal the swings. However, Brandon could totally be a contender all because of a couple different vowels!

I will not share our favourite names with you but I can assure you it will not be your name. (my internal dialogue as I finish writing that mini rant is that Mothers will understand non-Moms will not, a statement I always resented before getting pregnant.)

From what I can remember (baby brain) 5 people have said this to me so far. 

The imminent bump!

After weeks of waiting for the inevitable baby bump to show I now find myself in denial that it is really here. This couldn't possibly be a baby bump, I'm just bloated, for the 13th week in a row! I mean c'mon, lil Peanut is only 3 inches long, how could such a tiny baby make my pants tight. Stage 1 of denial consists of laying on my back in bed and running my hands over my abdomen deciding if I've popped out more or not. Stage 2 of denial, staring at my belly profile in the mirror (pre- morning pee) and convincing myself its just my full bladder that pushes my stomach out. Stage 3 of denial, re-evaluating my side profile post morning pee. Stage 4 of denial, flexing my abs to show the "true baby bump" and not just me pushing out my bump.

I suppose the real sign that my belly is growing, and not from too many sour keys (oooh totally just remembered I bought more! Snack time!), is that although I can button up my jeans and wear them normally, the second I eat anything that button HAS to be undone. I pull a full on Al Bundy and pop open my pants and slip my hand in the waist band to rub my tummy. Some of my sexiest moments!

Part of me is sad to admit I'm actually having a hard time embracing my belly. I've always been thin, and my stomach was always my favourite part of my body. Now I'm really struggling to accept that it is constantly pushed out and I'm trying very hard to love and accept it. By far the biggest body change of my life and it's just going to take some time to adjust. Anyone else have these kind of issues? How did you manage to feel sexy again?


Whomp Whomp Whomp Whomp

THAT is the best description in word form I can think of to describe Peanut's heartbeat. I had another doctors appointment and was able to hear the lil heart beat for a much longer time than at my dating ultrasound. His estimate was about 150bpm. It was strong and steady and couldn't have made me any happier. Miscarriage has been a very big problem for the women on my Mom's side of the family so getting past the 1st trimester and hearing such a great heart beat was exactly what I needed to know everything was going exactly as hoped.

New this week:

I won't be able to feel kicks for a few weeks still but on occasion I totally know where Peanut is just by feel! When I press on my uterus I can feel the spaces where it is empty and easy to press in, and then there will be one spot where it feels "full" and that there is something in the way. A lil human, that's what's in the way!!! ;) 

UPDATE: Can't really tell where Peanut is anymore, all of a sudden everything has firmed up and I can't really feel anything but firm muscle.