Week 14 - Weight, Faint and Taint

We didn't do this but it's too funny!

Ah yes! I've finally made it to the honeymoon phase! The much anticipated second trimester. To celebrate I take a moment to admire my changing pregnant body, glimpse down to revel in my biggest boobs ever HOLD UP! WTF ARE THOSE!? Blackheads?! Since when do those show up on milk jugs!! I mean it's better than hairy nipples but c'mon! I can't catch a break on the skin side of things!

Quick Recap: So dizzy! All the time! Yoga is not the same anymore. Up and down the weight goes. Tender titties no more. Forehead acne is clearing, good thing because I'm fed up with my bangs already. Baby bump retreated back in. Weird. Headaches regularly.


Weight: I'm going to weigh HOW MUCH!?

Oh the big 'ol weight number. How women love to avoid talking about it. For the past 8ish years I've been 125lbs with very little fluctuation. Well, there was the time I hopped on the scale after my 2 week trip to Spain and tipped the scales at 137lbs. That was nearly a mental breakdown. That hiccup aside, I'm generally very stable and work very hard to keep a fit body. I pride myself on my muscles but at the same time know weight gain is healthy in pregnancy. That being said, embracing the fact that I will weigh between 150lbs and 160lbs is challenging. Of course that number will be completely normal and vital to the development of Peanut, but still 160LBS!?!? Can I choose to delegate at least a few of those pounds to my boobs? 

And talk about weight fluctuations... my pre-pregnancy weight was 125lbs, next time I weighed myself it was 129, then it was 124, then 122, then 130 (3 days later). What the hell!? I've never seen fluctuations like that ever! As T.Swift would say, like ever ever! I suppose it has to do with the whole slow bowels and retaining water thing? One good... ummm... movement... and I shed pounds, HAHA some people would kill for that!

Faint: Would the REAL Niki Saunders please sit down...

On a daily basis my life is controlled by my blood pressure. To give you an idea of how low it is... normal blood pressure (as per Heart and Stroke Foundation) is between 120/80 and 129/84. I can tell which days my pressure is really low by how long I can stay upright, on those days I measure around 92/60. LOW!  On good days I'm around 100/60, still low but I can at least stay standing. (This is actually totally normal for pregnancy but it is a total pain in the ass!)

Just this morning I went to Starbucks for a yummy Caramel Apple Spice and could hardly get through my order because I had to sit down to keep from fainting. We are talking a whole 2 minutes of standing before almost making a scene unintentionally.

Taint: Yes! The taint you are thinking, you dirty bird

I was asked this week if I was going to get an episiotomy (where the doctor cuts you to prevent tearing during birth) and I had to really think about it. I've heard horror stories about tears but started wondering about other preventative methods. Then I remember my best girl talking to me about massaing you perineum aka your taint... you know that piece of skin in between you HooHa and your, well I don't have a nickname for it so ummmm, the other hole. Do you feel like we are closer already?! This is bonding in case you were unsure.

So the idea is that you rub and massage that sexy lil spot (or your partner does it, whatever your into, I'm not judging) and it's meant to allow the skin to stretch more during a vaginal birth and thus little or no tearing... The way I figure it, there are a lot of things that aren't sexy about pregnancy so let's just add this to the pile and hubby/boyfriend/partner will thank you post pregnancy when you can get jiggy with it sooner than later!

Week 15 here we come.... 

Week 13 - Sarcasm Sucks, Bump Denial, Whomp Whomp

Almost one week post announcing Peanut to the world (well at least Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest):

I received so many lovely messages and comments from both people close to me and those whom I've never met. It would be impossible to feel unloved and unsupported after an outpouring like I received. Amazing! And I am truly thankful!

Quick Recap:

WHY is my morning sickness back!? WTF!!! Seriously its like Week 7 all over again!  Down 3lbs from pre-pregnancy weight, again WTF. Baby Bump be poppin. Very dizzy. Foods taste funny, not in a good way.

Sarcasm Sucks!

There is one joke that is getting old, FAST. "Hey congratulations! You should name your kid after me!" Many things have exited the building during my pregnancy, like for example, my ability to jog up the stairs without being short of breath or how about blow drying my hair and my arms going numb in mere minutes. Along with that, my usual appreciation for sarcasm has also left, I'm one big party pooper when it comes to "jokes" regarding my pregnancy. This is the biggest and most serious life change for me, EVER, you joking about it means you are trivializing it. Visualize Joker saying "why so serious", because I'm f*$&ing pregnant that's why!

When thinking about why the name joke in particular bugs me and possibly other prego peeps, this is what I came up with. We spend hours obsessing over names, sifting through baby names online, in books or in apps. We find one we love, our partner hates it. Like most people we purposely avoid using names of those we know or have had bad experiences with. Case and point: I will never name my child Brendan because of a kid in elementary school who used to steal the swings. However, Brandon could totally be a contender all because of a couple different vowels!

I will not share our favourite names with you but I can assure you it will not be your name. (my internal dialogue as I finish writing that mini rant is that Mothers will understand non-Moms will not, a statement I always resented before getting pregnant.)

From what I can remember (baby brain) 5 people have said this to me so far. 

The imminent bump!

After weeks of waiting for the inevitable baby bump to show I now find myself in denial that it is really here. This couldn't possibly be a baby bump, I'm just bloated, for the 13th week in a row! I mean c'mon, lil Peanut is only 3 inches long, how could such a tiny baby make my pants tight. Stage 1 of denial consists of laying on my back in bed and running my hands over my abdomen deciding if I've popped out more or not. Stage 2 of denial, staring at my belly profile in the mirror (pre- morning pee) and convincing myself its just my full bladder that pushes my stomach out. Stage 3 of denial, re-evaluating my side profile post morning pee. Stage 4 of denial, flexing my abs to show the "true baby bump" and not just me pushing out my bump.

I suppose the real sign that my belly is growing, and not from too many sour keys (oooh totally just remembered I bought more! Snack time!), is that although I can button up my jeans and wear them normally, the second I eat anything that button HAS to be undone. I pull a full on Al Bundy and pop open my pants and slip my hand in the waist band to rub my tummy. Some of my sexiest moments!

Part of me is sad to admit I'm actually having a hard time embracing my belly. I've always been thin, and my stomach was always my favourite part of my body. Now I'm really struggling to accept that it is constantly pushed out and I'm trying very hard to love and accept it. By far the biggest body change of my life and it's just going to take some time to adjust. Anyone else have these kind of issues? How did you manage to feel sexy again?


Whomp Whomp Whomp Whomp

THAT is the best description in word form I can think of to describe Peanut's heartbeat. I had another doctors appointment and was able to hear the lil heart beat for a much longer time than at my dating ultrasound. His estimate was about 150bpm. It was strong and steady and couldn't have made me any happier. Miscarriage has been a very big problem for the women on my Mom's side of the family so getting past the 1st trimester and hearing such a great heart beat was exactly what I needed to know everything was going exactly as hoped.

New this week:

I won't be able to feel kicks for a few weeks still but on occasion I totally know where Peanut is just by feel! When I press on my uterus I can feel the spaces where it is empty and easy to press in, and then there will be one spot where it feels "full" and that there is something in the way. A lil human, that's what's in the way!!! ;) 

UPDATE: Can't really tell where Peanut is anymore, all of a sudden everything has firmed up and I can't really feel anything but firm muscle.

So I peed on a stick... you know what that means!

I'm PREGNANT!!!

Steve and I are expecting our first bundle of joy late April ( I'm convinced its actually early May). When I started writing this post I was 9 1/2 weeks along and had only told close friends and family. Being in a career that is driven very strongly by social media I waited to post anything on any website until I passed the "safe zone" and had notified work.

In the short journey so far I'm realizing I am going to have A LOT to share and write about and I'm hoping to do it in a very REAL and humourous way.

So, let's be real, its my first baby and I am OBSESSED with my pregnancy apps. I check all 6 of them every single day, often, more than once. I know exactly what fruit our lil Peanut resembles although he/she is much more alien like than fruit like. At this point the tail is gone, thank god! But Peanut still has a massive head in comparison to its body, here's hoping that doesn't mean it also has a big ego (ugh bad joke, sorry).

Two of the things that have stuck out in my mind thus far is:

EXERCISE: pregnancy apps will tell you going to the gym will help battle your fatigue. LIES LIES LIES!!! I was very active prior to being pregnant and in the past couple of weeks I could sleep all day everyday. The days I do manage to get my ass out of pajamas and into workout clothes and then actually get to the gym I am more exhausted than ever! I am winded just looking at the gym, let alone actually getting a sweat on. My lungs attempt to leap from my chest after only 10 minutes on the stairmaster and because my blood flow has changed and blood pressure is really low, the day after my workout I have REALLY sore muscles.

OPINIONS: they really are like assholes, everyone has one. The best "advice" I've gotten comes from my good friend Lindsay who said "if I can give you one piece of advice, it would be not to listen to any negative advice". I've realized that dealing with women spewing unsolicited advice and opinions at you, often while you are completely sober and they are not, is your first training in patience before your baby comes. It is a true challenge for me to just nod my head and say "mhmm" "oh really" "interesting point" when in my head I'm really screaming "how about you stop being such a bag and drink your damn wine that I'm sure is extra delicious just because I can't have any!!! AHHHHHHH ".

I won't write an entry for every week leading to now but how about a lil recap.

Week 4: Shit. I'm late. Peed on a stick (at work of all places). Waited. Shit. There are two lines. Tell Steve. He falls to his knees, then goes into stunned silence. Happy stunned silence.

Week 5: Go to the doctor. Blood tests. Tell the parentals. Steve's mom cries, my parents don't (talk about disappointing ;) ). Acne, so much acne. Go to Vegas for my birthday. Rock a bikini bloated as all hell.

Week 6: Boobs hurt. Roomate asks "how do they hurt? Like you got punched in the boob?". Have a few panic attacks about having a baby. Tell a couple friends. Nausea, all day. Pretzels and Preggie Pops are my lifesaver!

Week 7: May as well be a teenager again the way this acne is going. And now there are strange bumps all over my back, YUP this is just awesome. No glow for me. Still nauseous, mostly just in the morning. Created a pillowcase for a body pillow = BEST SLEEP EVER.

Week 8: Love me some sweets! Don`t even mention chicken or fish. Nausea is better but shows up at random time for no reason. No bump yet. Dating Ultrasound!!! See lil Peanut and it`s beating heart! Hear it too! AMAZING.

Week 9: Don`t touch me, poor Steve can`t win this battle. Acne STILL! Won`t get better so I got bangs to cover it! No weight gain, no bump, minimal bloating. F*$% You vitamins! I take them and instantly want to hurl.

Week 10: 2nd doctors appointment. Due date adjusted to May 2. I was right. He says I have a good pelvis, thanks Mom! Acne and nausea still here, like inlaws that visit for too long. Working in the voice track room at work makes me almost pass out. Have gained 4 pounds.

Week 11: Acne is finally starting to clear! Exhausted. Dizzy, most of the time. 2 days being the grumpiest human on earth! Told my boss, mostly because I'm a terrible liar. Tiny bump starting to show. Minimal nausea.

Week 12: Finally starting to feel human again. More rested, better moods. Still lightheaded and dizzy, a lot. Haven't actually gained 4 pounds. Weight just goes up and down. Time to launch this blog!!!