Week 14 - Weight, Faint and Taint

We didn't do this but it's too funny!

Ah yes! I've finally made it to the honeymoon phase! The much anticipated second trimester. To celebrate I take a moment to admire my changing pregnant body, glimpse down to revel in my biggest boobs ever HOLD UP! WTF ARE THOSE!? Blackheads?! Since when do those show up on milk jugs!! I mean it's better than hairy nipples but c'mon! I can't catch a break on the skin side of things!

Quick Recap: So dizzy! All the time! Yoga is not the same anymore. Up and down the weight goes. Tender titties no more. Forehead acne is clearing, good thing because I'm fed up with my bangs already. Baby bump retreated back in. Weird. Headaches regularly.


Weight: I'm going to weigh HOW MUCH!?

Oh the big 'ol weight number. How women love to avoid talking about it. For the past 8ish years I've been 125lbs with very little fluctuation. Well, there was the time I hopped on the scale after my 2 week trip to Spain and tipped the scales at 137lbs. That was nearly a mental breakdown. That hiccup aside, I'm generally very stable and work very hard to keep a fit body. I pride myself on my muscles but at the same time know weight gain is healthy in pregnancy. That being said, embracing the fact that I will weigh between 150lbs and 160lbs is challenging. Of course that number will be completely normal and vital to the development of Peanut, but still 160LBS!?!? Can I choose to delegate at least a few of those pounds to my boobs? 

And talk about weight fluctuations... my pre-pregnancy weight was 125lbs, next time I weighed myself it was 129, then it was 124, then 122, then 130 (3 days later). What the hell!? I've never seen fluctuations like that ever! As T.Swift would say, like ever ever! I suppose it has to do with the whole slow bowels and retaining water thing? One good... ummm... movement... and I shed pounds, HAHA some people would kill for that!

Faint: Would the REAL Niki Saunders please sit down...

On a daily basis my life is controlled by my blood pressure. To give you an idea of how low it is... normal blood pressure (as per Heart and Stroke Foundation) is between 120/80 and 129/84. I can tell which days my pressure is really low by how long I can stay upright, on those days I measure around 92/60. LOW!  On good days I'm around 100/60, still low but I can at least stay standing. (This is actually totally normal for pregnancy but it is a total pain in the ass!)

Just this morning I went to Starbucks for a yummy Caramel Apple Spice and could hardly get through my order because I had to sit down to keep from fainting. We are talking a whole 2 minutes of standing before almost making a scene unintentionally.

Taint: Yes! The taint you are thinking, you dirty bird

I was asked this week if I was going to get an episiotomy (where the doctor cuts you to prevent tearing during birth) and I had to really think about it. I've heard horror stories about tears but started wondering about other preventative methods. Then I remember my best girl talking to me about massaing you perineum aka your taint... you know that piece of skin in between you HooHa and your, well I don't have a nickname for it so ummmm, the other hole. Do you feel like we are closer already?! This is bonding in case you were unsure.

So the idea is that you rub and massage that sexy lil spot (or your partner does it, whatever your into, I'm not judging) and it's meant to allow the skin to stretch more during a vaginal birth and thus little or no tearing... The way I figure it, there are a lot of things that aren't sexy about pregnancy so let's just add this to the pile and hubby/boyfriend/partner will thank you post pregnancy when you can get jiggy with it sooner than later!

Week 15 here we come....