GOOD Husbands Apparel Review

I was recently introduced to a trio of ladies who have started their own clothing line for babies and kids. Back in October, Katie, Tracy and Dayna started Good Husbands Apparel. In a world that is dominated by big box stores it is refreshing to find a LOCAL company who makes trendy and cute clothing for the kiddies.

Ella is the proud new owner of their town shirt which is super Vancouver focused, naming parts of the city (although I'm not sure about the "railtown" part).

Initial Thoughts:

So Soft! The second I touched this t-shirt I immediately noticed how soft the cotton is. Much nicer fabric than typical baby clothes. I loooove me some Carter's clothing but this is just so much cozier.

I also really like that they chose to print the wash instructions and label on the fabric itself. This seems to be pretty standard for baby clothes but its definitely a nicety.

The only downside I've noticed so far are the wash instructions. They indicate that the item should be washed in cold water and give the option of either a hang dry or a tumble dry on low. I just can't be bothered to dig this out of the mounds of baby laundry to hang dry it and it will more than likely always be washed in warm water. With the amount of drool and food that end up on her clothes, I just don't trust cold water to get it all out.

How does it fit?

Ella is 6 months, 17lbs and 29 inches long. She wears clothing in the 6-12 month range, 9 month being pretty ideal. This is a 6-12 month size shirt and it is too big at the moment. As you can see in her photo the neck is just a bit too wide. Although that wide neck makes it REALLY easy to slip over her big head.

The majority of her clothing is Carters so thats the only size comparison for me. She has a 9 month t-shirt that fits great, I would say if you are used to Carters sizes this Good Husbands Apparel shirt would be closer to a 12 month.


I washed it, and....

I was a little scared to run this through the wash for fear that it would shrink too much, pill a lot or just get ruined in general. I was pleasantly surprised when it came out of the wash. My washer is a piece of trash and IT decides on its own what temperature the water will be. We have very little control over that. Any given load could be washed in scalding or frigid or somewhere in between. I believe this particular load was closer to warm than hot and it held up great! It went straight into the dryer and when I checked this morning it looked exactly as it had before washing! Super impressed. Have to no fear mama's! Wash and dry to your hearts content. Now I'm sure that if you wash in cold and hang dry it will last much much longer but for how short a period they wear clothing I say don't burden yourself!

Final Verdict:

Buy it! This is a great quality piece of clothing. Really nice fabric, washes well and is local. That's the key for me. It's always nice when you can support a company from right in your backyard. 

Want your own!?

You can buy Good Husbands Apparel online here. They have 4 different designs, including a totally cute sloth t-shirt. Come December they are hoping to launch a pullover, toque and onesie. If you would rather see and touch the clothing for yourself, you can check out their designs in the trendy Lynn Steven Boutique in Vancouver.

Follow them on Instagram too! Every once in a while they give away free swag!

Week 1 of Insanity

Wow. I'm an idiot. Why! Why did I ever think this was a good idea. 

My first workout was "plyometric cardio circuit" and it sucks balls. I watched the DVD ahead of time so I knew what to expect and I actually said out loud "What!? That was the WARMUP!!??" 

Oh sweet Jesus this workout is going to give me a run for my money. This DVD consists of mostly jumping. You look like friggen Tigger. Only not nearly as cute. Much less cute actually. The scraggly hair pasted to your head with sweat, the bambi legs post workout, not hot. 

I'll be honest, I took a lot of breaks and I didn't even finish the DVD. At 4.5 months post partum there are still a few body issues. My pelvis is still painful when I isolate each leg separately. And my abs get sore very quickly. By the time we finished the endless sets of power squats, ski jumps, mountain climbers etc etc etc my body was hurting. I stopped the DVD with 13 minutes left. I felt guilty but my first priority is to help my body get stronger not make existing issues worse.

WORKOUT #2

I was defintely dreading this. Now that I knew what I was really in for, I was sooooo not excited to continue. The second workout was Cardio Power and Resistance. I would say its one of the easiest (and my easiest I mean still really friggen hard" dics in the set. There is a bit less jumping, not by much. I just found it was an easier workout for me. I can't do push ups right now, not because my arms aren't strong enough because lord knows toting around a 15lb baby has made my arms stronger than ever, but because my abs can't support me yet. 

After completing the WHOLE workout (with some breaks) I was feeling much more positive that I could do this. 

WORKOUT #3

Recovery.... they give you a glimmer of hope thinking today will be an easy workout... ummm no. There is very little jumping (thank god for that!) but there is a lot of strength work. Lots of squats into squat holds into squat pulses all one after another with no breaks. I was shocked that I still broke a sweat but I guess you are still workin hard, just in a different less Tigger-ish way. 

WORKOUT #4

Pure Cardio aka Fuck My Life.... Oh my fuck. Thats all I can say to describe this... Cardio, more cardio, more cardio oh and no water breaks! Really!?!?! UGGGGH! 

I managed to get through it, but it was one hell of a challenge. 

WORKOUT #5

Yet to happen.

Here's the issue with the program and my life. I have a lovely hubby to be that busts his butt and works 7 of 8 days. 4 of those days are shift work 12-13hr days. Since we live in a condo, our home is not exactly perfect for a jumping workout. If we were ground level I would do these after Ella goes to bed but that isn't the case. I try to fit them in when Steve is home to watch her for 45 minutes. And then real life gets in the way like it always does. These are too instense for me to do first thing in the morning ( I get lightheaded ). 9pm at night doesnt exactly scream "Time to jump for 45 minutes and do it with a smile on your face". Honestly once Ella is in bed and Steve gets home I just want to spend time with him. 

So, moving forward, I will do the workouts when I can. It will not be daily. I am still going to mix in runs (which I had stopped because what freak of nature can learn to run 5k AND do a 45 jumping routine in the same day) Instead of this being 60 days it will probably get stretched out to 4 months and thats ok. The important thing is that I am trying something new and pushing my own personal boundaries.

Insanity Workout DVD's AKA Certain Death Disguised as Fitness

I've officially lost my mind... 

My wedding photographer mentioned to me that she had the Insanity DVD's and I for some unknown reason took her up on her offer to borrow them. What. Have. I. Done. 

The whole process starts with a fit test. Also known as "let me show you how unfit you actually are".

It consists of 8 exercises. You do each for 1 minute and record how many you can do. Every 2 weeks you do it again and your supposed to see improvement. 

The exercises (and my results) are:
Switch kicks 68

Power Jacks 34

Power Knees 80

Power jumps 0 (way too loud for an apartment exercise)
Globe Jumps 10

Suicide jumps aka burpees aka worst exercise ever in the history of the world 5
Push up jacks 12

Low Plank Obliques 34

I'll be honest... the fit test is hard. Makes me scared to do the actual workouts. The bright side is that the workouts are "short" around 35 minutes. Do able. Kinda. Maybe. I hope. 

Physically my starting point is this... 

129.4 lbs. 

Bust: 32 

Waist (at belly button): 31 

Hips/Butt: 36 

Thigh: 21

Fit tests are to be done every 2 weeks until the end of the program (2 months). I'll do an entry after every fit test with new measurements and general thoughts. 

Wish me luck...

Our Sleep Story

Oh sleep, truly the most elusive thing when you have a baby. When these cute little creatures first enter our lives they have night time parties and crash all day long. Thanks a lot nature, I just had a 32 hour labour, major surgery, a child who doesn't feed properly and now you design them to have nights and days mixed up. WTF did I ever do to you!?

Thankfully, by some miracle these tiny humans sort out their shit and start sleeping more at night and having daytime parties. I had a friend recommend early on "The Baby Whisperer" sleep book. I had every intention of following this method of early sleep training but when our feeding problems persisted it was next to impossible and I quickly abandoned structured feeding for on demand feedings. Then Boo Bear (aka tiny human, aka Ella Bean, aka Wiggles) was diagnosed with acid reflux and we had a very fussy baby on our hands.

Now, 3 months into this adventure this Momma wants her evenings and nights back.

Here's how it was BEFORE we started sleep training. Ella would wake up around 6am (give or take). Sometimes she would eat a little then sleep some more, sometimes not. Then around 9am she would get fussy and I would feed her another bottle until she fell asleep. She would nap for a short time (45 -1hr if I was lucky). Then she would wake up crying, eat some more, spend some time being happy and then be fussy and feed to sleep again. This cycle goes all day until late afternoon when the fussiness really ramped up. To the point where she couldn't even calm down enough to eat. We had a seriously over tired baby on our hands. She usually wouldn't be down for the night until 10pm ish. Not exactly convenient for us. She needed to be tended to on a regular basis, especially at night time. And yet again, she needed to be fed to fall asleep.

Now I didn't actually mind the eating to fall asleep thing because it was easy. She was quiet and content, but we were clearly fostering a habit. Not to mention the middle of the night bullshit that was still going on. As Dr. Ferber states in his book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" a 3 month old baby no longer has a nutritional need for a middle of the night feeding. They can go 10 hours without eating at night and be just fine. Well Miss Ella had created a habit of waking between 1:30 and 2:30 (depending when she fell asleep) and wanted to eat to fall back asleep (starting to sense the issue?). Now, it's only 1 time at night but when you go to sleep at 11pm then wake up a couple hours later, feed her, put her down, and go back to sleep only to wake up another few hours later, it gets tiring.

How does one fix this problem....

There are a lot of different methods out there and everyone has an opinion on them. I bought 4 sleep books used from a swap group and had read an article that sort of cleared up the Cry It Out (CIO) method. Initially, I didn't think I would be able to listen to Ella cry without being there to comfort her, but in the past few weeks her cries have become less jarring. I decided (and Steve supported) to use Dr. Ferber's method. The CIO method.

Now before you go all "how can you let her cry" or "poor baby, she must feel abandoned" or "your going to cause brain damage" blah blah blah... Let me explain the true process, it's really not so bad.

It's naptime (or bedtime) and you put baby down awake (but ready for sleep). I give her a rub on the tummy and a kiss on the forehead and leave the room. Because this isn't her usual way to go to sleep she is naturally not impressed with me. She cries. After 5 minutes I go back in, rub her tummy, tell her everything is ok and that I'm just outside her room. I leave the room again, even if she is still crying. This time I wait 10 minutes. If she is still crying I repeat the process. Enter, rub tummy, tell her its ok, leave. Now, I wait 15 minutes.  Repeat this every 15 minutes until she falls asleep. If it's naptime, only leave her for an hour and then abandon the process and try again for her next nap.

Soooo I bet your wondering how this has all worked out for me... Well that first night sucked big time! She was right pissed off with us. She fell asleep eating at 8pm (I hadn't decided to start that night until after putting her down and her waking up instantly, again, like she always does). That's when it began. She took an hour or so to finally go down. Slept til midnight-ish. Was up for another 45 - 1 hour. Steve and I alternated going in. Then she had another wake up but went down much faster. Then she decided to wake up 40 mins earlier than what we wanted her wake time to be. We chose to wait til that wake up time to get her up for the day (we did go in to soothe though).

Now for the daytime routine... When she wakes up from a nap we feed her a full bottle and then we have waketime. Playing, reading books, eating her monkey etc. Then when she shows signs of tiredness we put her down for sleep. As per the book "Baby Wise" this process is about 3 hours long. And Ella was right on schedule. We repeated this all day and by her 3rd nap she was falling asleep with less than 5 minutes of crying. 


We are only 24 hours into this process but she has already made huge strides! The one thing that still needs some work is her nap length. "Baby Wise" explains that a baby who wakes up crying after a nap hasn't had enough sleep. They should wake up content and cooing. We are not there yet. She still wakes up after every nap (which is usually only 45 minutes to an hour) crying loudly. The suggestion is that you allow her to cry for 10 minutes and she should settle back down and sleep a while longer. I'll be adding that to the mix tomorrow.

So far tonight she napped at 5:30, woke up at 6:30 crying, she ate, couldnt stay awake so I put her back down. After a little fussing she went back to sleep and now at 9:30 she is still asleep. I'm curious to see how overnight goes. I'll be sure to update this in a week and let you know how much has changed.

Here's to sleeping through the night!

Night 2: she slept from 8pm to 6:30am. Woke up happy. 

Day 2: went down for her naps well. Cries no more than 10mins. Then at 5 we put her down and had to abandon nap time after an hour of crying. She had another bottle (half) then she stayed up til 730 when she looked tired. 30mins in she was still crying. We fed her and she fell asleep. Not ideal but at some point we needed to know she ate enough. 

Night 3: she woke up at midnight per usual but this time took 30 mins to settle down. One belly rub and kiss from me which seemed to make it worse. A brief waking at 2 then up and happy at 630.

**UPDATE**

1 MONTH LATER:

Our lil babe sleeps through the night, every single night (except last night which I'm pretty sure is linked to "4 month sleep regression). She now naps well during the day and wakes up from her naps happy and smiling. Very rarely will she wake up crying. We finally have a well rested and happy baby! She giggles and smiles and plays contently by herself or with us. It is a huge change!

Letting her cry for short periods of time has actually helped us distinguish her cries more accurately. She doesn't really even cry most of the time, its more  like an annoyed fuss. The one downside is that I feel quite tied to her schedule. She can usually stay up for 1.5 - 2 hours after waking up from a nap. Much longer than that and she gets grumpy and has a hard time falling asleep (she's OVERtired). If she falls asleep in the car I can't move her from the car seat because she will wake up, she also doesnt sleep long enough in the car seat.

In general though, sleep training was the best thing we ever did for our family. On top of sleep training, sticking to a schedule of SLEEP, EAT, PLAY, SLEEP is vital!

3 Months Down, A Lifetime To Go

In one weeks time our tiny human will be 3 months and quite frankly I can't believe we survived it! On several occasions we were told "just get through the first couple months". How true is that!!!

Baby's First 3 Months:

Since being blunt is my specialty I'm going to tell you like it is. It bites! The first couple of weeks are nothing short of difficult. You have a baby who is convinced night time is party time and day time is made for sleeping (and if they are anything like my child, naps are no longer than 30 minutes). Your house is a mess, every meal you eat is cold and good luck sneaking in a shower or brushing your teeth.

Everyone tells you "it's a love like you've never known" WRONG! Now it is but not at first. Don't get me wrong, I've loved my baby from the start but when she cries and cries and cries, well, you could imagine it is tough to feel warm and fuzzy. It's much more of a "what the hell child! Why won't you stop crying". Frustrating and exhausting. There were definitely occasions when I wondered what I had gotten myself into and how in the world I was supposed to continue. And then things started to get better.

All of a sudden she started sleeping at night for longer stretches, staying mostly asleep during her middle of the night feeds and the crying went away almost completely.She now has 3 naps a day at almost the exact same time everyday. We are trying to sleep train her so that she will self soothe and fall asleep on her own. Its not a fun process but eventually it will help.

What's even more interesting is about 2 weeks ago I stopped pumping and decided to feed her all formula (with an occasional breastmilk bottle from my frozen stash). It was a really hard decision to stop but my stress level was sky high because I was having supply and pump issues. Since switching she has been happier for sure. Funny what a full belly will do. My guess is that consistent calories are helping her, when I was pumping the amount of fatty milk would vary and the less there is the less filling it is. The only thing it hasn't helped with is night time sleeping. She still doesn't sleep through the night which I was hoping the formula would help with but 4 hour sleep stretches are manageable at least.

The other awesome change is that she really only poops once a day! Hallelujah! In the early days I was shocked at how much poop could come from such a tiny baby and gradually it starts to slow down, thank god for that.  

Mom's First 3 Months:

In 2 words... NOT SEXY. Just yesterday I woke up, said good morning to Steve and then went to shower before I headed out on a road trip for the day. As soon as I looked in the mirror I was shocked that Steve still welcomed me with a warm smile. I must have rubbed my eyes during the night because under my eyes were completely black. I roll out of bed in a whole new level of disarray these days. My hair is a disaster and the word "groggy" doesn't quite cover my lack of energy.

I'm just now getting to the point where I am feeling better about my physical progress. My stomach was always a point of pride for me so it's a real challenge to get past the fact that its a little more jiggly and puffier than I would like. I'm looking forward to the day when I can snuggle up to Steve and not think about how my stomach feels to him.

The baby feeders are deflated now too. Since I've stopped pumping my milk has dried up and left the ladies looking like ski slopes. Good thing we have push up bras!!

The other major change, and thank goodness I was warned about this, is hair loss. Remember that luscious thick hair you had during pregnancy? Well it stays with you until you stop breastfeeding. And then you could swear you are balding. I've lost so much hair I'm surprised there is any left on my head! And it is shocking how fast it happens. I stopped pumping and then quite literally a few days later I'm showering and chunks of hair are coming out. Do yourself a favour and don't let that shit go down the drain. No one wants to clean out wads of hair from the drain, we clean up enough yucky stuff already.
 
Getting Through It All 

Just keep telling yourself it will get better, because it actually does! And take it slow, one day at a time, one week at a time, before you know it months have passed and you actually know what you are doing and what your baby needs even though she doesn't do any better of a job telling you.

My How She's Changed

My little bobble head baby is now holding her head all on her own. She still needs a bit of support on her back because she likes to lean back and then her little abs cant pull her back up. Any minute now she is going to roll over on her own. I actually had a dream last night that she did it so I'm convinced its happening today. She is a chatter box full of little coos, squeals and grunts. Next step, GIGGLES!!!!

Post Baby Weight Loss

I wouldn't hesitate to say that losing baby weight is among the top goals of moms. As I promised many weeks ago, I've been tracking my own weight loss and will indeed share with you the physical changes, even though it makes me extremely nervous and self conscious. After all, here I am, the stereotypical skinny girl who now has a budda belly. Talk about being out of my comfort zone.

During my pregnancy I went from 125lbs to 168lbs. Ouch! So much for trying to control my weight gain. Damn those sour keys. So I put on 43lbs in total but still figured I could drop a lot of it and very quickly. And then labour happened and I ended up with an unexpected c-section. That certainly threw a wrench in my plans.

As per doctors orders I was unable to workout for 6 weeks. No lifting anything heavier than my baby and no activity except for walking. I'm far too much of a busy body so against my doctors orders I started lifting the stroller and car seat between 3 and 4 weeks. I told myself that I had more than enough arm strength to do this without over engaging my core. Thankfully I managed not to screw anything up with my recovery.

For the first 5 weeks, aside from lifting the stroller, all I did was walk. Day by day I got faster and stronger and thinner (kinda). Once the 5 week mark hit my busy body gene got the best of me. I couldn't stay out of the gym any longer. I was very careful, only lifting 7.5lb weights and walking on a treadmill. I tried many different exercises only to find out my core was still far too weak to do them, so I didn't.

What surprised me the most was how quickly I regained strength and stability. By week 6, I was able to do all my normal exercises, albeit at lower weights. Now at week 9 I am about 90% back to usual. I can't do any jumping exercises and traditional ab work is off limits. My abs separated during pregnancy (no shocker there considering I carried soooo far forward) which means I need to rehab them to get them to come back together without me doing further damage.

As for weight loss numbers, by 4 weeks postpartum I had dropped 29lbs with very little effort. I was pumping 8 times a day (usually every 2 - 3 hours) and eating A LOT! I started taking fenugreek and blessed thistle for milk production and the blessed thistle made me soooo hungry! Now at 9 weeks postpartum I have lost 36 lbs. There are only 7 measly pounds left.

In all honestly I would actually be totally fine if I stayed at this weight (132lbs). It's a totally healthy and normal weight for my height but it's my damn belly that I can't wait to get rid of. Prepregnancy, my waist measured 27 inches. At the end of my pregnancy it ballooned to 43 inches. Now I sit at 33 inches and its making me crazy! I am desperate to have my flat tummy back. Yes yes I know, I'm only 9 weeks out, and I had a c-section blah blah blah-diddy-blah. It still makes me nutty.

I've been stuck in this awkward stage where my maternity shorts are far too big but my prepregnancy shorts/pants are too tight (can you say mega muffin top!?) or they don't do up at all. Yesterday I finally found a pair of shorts that will work for the in between time. I chose a high-waisted (can you say mom jeans?) jean short. Anything low rise cuts my tummy at exactly the WRONG spot. They are 2 sizes bigger than what I "normally" wear but man does it feel good to wear something that fits!

****UPDATE**** I'm now 5 months post partum and almost completely back to normal. My ab separation has gone down to about 1 finger width and I am stronger than I was before I was pregnant. I can lift heavier weights at the gym and my cardio is better too! I can jump again but push ups are still evading me. Its something about my core strength. It's ok, I don't really like push ups anyways lol. My weight is stuck at 129lbs and I'm totally good with it. There is a little bit of loose skin still and my belly button will never ever been an innie again but for the most part my body is back. Keep the faith, it will come if you work at it!

**** ANOTHER UPDATE ****

I'm now 10 months post partum and  almost totally back to my prepregnancy body. My measurements and weight are all what they used to be however physically there are still a few trouble spots. Remember my broken crotch? Thats still haunting me. I have a hard time isolating each leg without pain. My hip flexors have always been tight but seem to be extra tight still. My abs are still slightly separated but when I flex they touch again! YAY! After seeing a personal trainer I've learned I have an over developed trap and lat on opposite sides and that is all because of holding Ella on the same side all the time.  Overall, I"m feeling great in the gym, stronger that before and continuing to improve.

***** JANUARY 2016 UPDATE *****

I'm not 18 months post partum and can officially say all the trouble areas are free from pain. Finally!! The past year and a half has flown by and I wish I could have told myself to be patient and believed that I would get back to where I wanted to be if I just gave myself time. If you are on your journey back to a pre baby body, be patient. It'll come. Do it gradually and you will succeed! I've uploaded a current tummy image, aside from that wrinkly outie of a belly button that annoys me I am extremely pleased and proud of my results.

So here is the incredibly intimate, makes me anxious and want to throw up part... the belly visual. Below is a weekly (mostly) progression of my weight loss journey. Can't believe I'm doing this....

Here is my 19 month post partum photo... took a lot of time to get here but I am so very proud of myself for sticking with it!

Feeding Fiasco

From day 1 feeding my baby has been an uphill battle.

When I pictured my life with my new baby I envisioned myself as a breastfeeding machine. Holding my little one close, gazing into her eyes and bonding on an intimate level. My experience has been anything but that.

After having a c-section holding her was a huge challenge. I had an enormous amount of pressure built up in my stomach. Trapped gas and swelling for the most part. Holding her in a cradle position compressed my stomach and made it unbearable. Football hold helped some but still wasn't great.

I breastfed exclusively while in the hospital recovering. After being told we needed to feed every 2 hours (even if it meant waking her up) we still had an incredibly fussy baby. One that would kick and scream even after being fed for a longer than the recommended time. One night when she was inconsolable we asked the nurses for help. Of course the second the nurse arrived she settled right down. The nurses were kind enough to take care of her for a few hours so we could rest. Not long after she was in their care, our night nurse came in and woke me. "Your baby has lost 12.5% of her weight, we need to give her formula".

I nodded and as soon as the nurse left immediately started bawling. I was failing my baby. I was trying the best I could to feed her and help her thrive and it wasn't enough. Not even close! All my dreams of having an exclusively breastfed baby came crashing down within hours of her birth. That night she took 70ml of formula. For a 2 day old baby that is a huge amount of food in one go. Their tummies are around the size of a cherry.

That morning our nurse helped us forge a new game plan for feeding. I would breast feed for 20 minutes then pump after to top her up. We had formula on hand to make sure she got enough. Thankfully this plan worked exactly as we needed. She was gaining weight. We stayed an extra day in the hospital because we needed to ensure she had put enough weight back on. Thankfully she regained 4% of her weight in that time.

Getting discharged from the hospital and going home now posed its own set of challenges.

We rented a hospital grade pump from London Drugs instead of buying our own so we had time to make sure the feeding plan was going to continue to work for us. It didn't.


Night times were trying to say the least. She wanted to stay awake from 10pm til 2 or 3am. I would breast feed her for an hour and she would still be hungry. To say it was an exhausting process would be the understatement of the year. She would feed, still be hungry, not go to sleep and then feed again. She was attached to me for most of the night and when she wasnt, she was almost impossible to settle. All of it came down to one this. She was hungry. A hungry baby is a very unhappy baby. An unhappy baby makes for stressed out Mommies and Daddies.

I needed a better way. I needed to feed my baby and I needed to keep my sanity. I was not a good Mom with the level of frustration I was feeling. After an emotional discussion with Steve, we decided I would give up nursing and pump exclusively. This way we could monitor how much she was eating and make sure she was being fed enough. This wasn't an easy decision for me. I wanted so desperately to be the best mom possible and feed my baby the way I'm "supposed to". Guilt consumed me and that familiar feeling of failure came back.

Those feelings were quick to leave once we started pumping exclusively and realized how much happier our baby was. She was full, content and much easier to console. She was happy and so was I.

Pumping isn't without its struggles. I am a dairy cow every 2 hours with bottles attached to my boobs. I've struggled with supply and have had to supplement with formula. Every time I reach for a bottle of formula I cringe. Knowing it gives her an upset stomach and isn't "the very best" I can give her. But it means she is full. She won't go hungry and that's what matters. Sometimes I don't have enough milk for her, other times I have extra (until she decides to cluster feed and drink it all in 2 hours).

We are still working out the kinks of feeding. She seems to have a lot of tummy troubles. Gas gives her pain and makes her fussy. We try too hard to predict how much she needs to eat instead of letting her dictate when she is done. We are learning to roll with the punches and take it minute by minute. Babies are far from predictable and that's ok. I'm certainly not a perfect mother and she isn't the perfect baby but together we are doing our best and that's all you can ask for. All I hope is that one day I look back on this and realize I did just fine and made the best decisions I could.

Induction, Labour and Delivery

1 Day Before Induction

I am 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Excited, anxious and scared all wrapped up in one emotional package. Last night I was exhausted but at the same time felt the overwhelming urge to double check our hospital bag and ensure everything was easy to find and access in case we were leaving in the middle of the night.

So I turned up the crazy and ran around (when I say "ran" I actually mean slowing waddled) the house grabbing all the little things I still needed to pack. I made a snack bag for Steve (since I won't really be allowed to eat at the hospital, although I may sneak an apple sauce in). Then when I felt satisfied I snuggled into bed feeling a bit crampy on the front of my abdomen (near my belly button) and tried to relax.

3:26 am

I wake up with a contraction. I harness my yoga breathing techniques and a few moments later the contraction subsides. I'm a freaking physic! Of course there was a reason I HAD to pack a bag. Orrrrrr not. 

3:51am

I get a second (less painful) contraction and that's the end of that excitement. No more contractions, no more excitement.

This is the second time this has happened to me in the middle of the night and what a disappointment it is! You finally think labour is going to begin and instead its just some random contraction leading to a whole lot of nothing!

Preparing for Induction

Preparing yourself for labour striking at any moment is an entirely different thing than preparing for a scheduled induction. For the past 4 weeks (maternity leave) I've wondered when labour would start. The fact that it could be literally any moment, carried it's own set of anxiety but somehow it seems easier to me to just act in the moment and figure it out. Knowing I'm going into the hospital for them to start labour seems much more daunting. I know for sure that sometime between 8am and midnight I'll go into labour. It's happening, one way or another and that is kinda scary.

We chose to delay our induction by 2 days, giving labour an extra chance to start naturally. Since my pregnancy has been completely unremarkable and I am very healthy my doctor felt it was a very reasonable change of plans. I will say I was much more nervous for induction last week, now after delaying it and having a good discussion with 2 medical professionals in the maternity clinic about induction I feel much better about the whole process.

The scary part is wondering how I will respond to the induction. Will I react and have immediate contractions? Or will it be a slow annoying process of having to have the induction redone a couple of times.

Induction Day

Rise and shine! We woke up early and call the hospital to find out what time we will go in to be induced. 10:30am. Ok it's go time! Baby is officially going to be on his or her way! We load up the hospital bag and all of our goodies and head into the maternity ward at the hospital. We are put in a room and we wait for my doctor to come over to assess me. He comes and after my usual internal he says I have progressed enough for a sweep, which is completes and honestly wasn't so terrible. Just uncomfortable. After a discussion we decide that Cervidil is the best induction method for me. It is a wafer thin tab loaded with prostiglandin that they insert like a tampon. It can be left in for 24 hours and if you react to it it can be pulled out and the contractions should stop (let's emphasize SHOULD).

After an hour of observation of both me and baby we get sent home. Now what. Waiting, more waiting. It was a nice day so Steve and I go for a walk and sure enough that started contractions. By 5pm my contractions were regular and painful. By 11pm we were calling the hospital talking about coming in. They advised I could stay home longer if that's where I was comfortable. 30 minutes later my contractions had increased in frequency and pain to the point where I was no longer comfortable at home. The drive to the hospital was the fastest in history. I was contracting for 30 seconds every minute. 

Once in the hospital they began to monitor my contractions and the baby. 1 1/2 hours later they finally pulled out the Cervidil and waited to see how my contractions slowed. Except they didnt. They still came fast and furious. At this point, my "natural" labour plan went out the window and I opted for a shot of morphine. What a saviour! It took the edge off just enough so that we could go home and I could "sleep" for a few hours. I spent 1 1/2 hours in the tub that morning, falling asleep floating in the water then waking up to breathe through a contraction. 

Labour time!

As instructed, we called the hospital in the morning and went back in to be reassessed. I had progressed to 3cm dilated and had effaced some more as well, enough that my doctor decided to break my waters and admit me. Talk about an odd feeling. No pain, just a whole lot of fluid.We were moved to our labour and delivery room (where we would spend the next 5 days).

My timeline from here gets a little fuzzy but at some point the contractions came on hard. We tried the hot shower on my back and belly, although it felt nice, it didn't do much for pain relief. I'd had enough of that and wanted to get out. As soon as I had dried off the contractions ramped up to a whole new level. I could hardly stand or breathe through them. It got to the point where the contractions were 2 minutes long and close together. Too much to handle. I tried to suck on the gas, that did a whole lot of diddly squat. Then we tried the morphine again, absolutely zero pain relief. On to the next thing, an epidural. Ahhhh finally, some relief. The only trouble the the epidural was that it took more to one side than the other. And depending how I was laying down the pain relief would shift and leave some parts of my body. It wasn't perfect but it was so much better than before. 

Hours and hours pass by and I slowly progressed but then I started to run a low grade fever and although I was 8cm dilated my cervix was beginning to swell. Our sweet baby was essentially hitting it's head on my cervix and making it swell. Those 2 factors combined brought my doctor and the OB to advise a cesarean section would be best. NOT in the plan. But hell, this whole process wasn't planned. I went from no pain meds to trying every kind.  At this point I was so exhausted I just wanted our baby to be here and to be here safely. The prep began for my c-section. 

The great thing about c-sections at Langley Hospital is that they keep you, you partner and baby together at all costs. Even though I was strapped to a bed and being sewn back up I was still able to have our baby layed on my chest. It was a challenging surgery. Although you are numb from the tits down you can still feel whats going on in terms of pressure. The spinal tap (numbing) makes you shake uncontrollably and makes you nauseous (in my case, made me vomit). Steve watched mostly he entire surgery (being in the medical field he is far from sqeamish). My only wish was that he didnt have to have a mask on, I could only watch his eyes to see his reaction when he realized we now had a beautiful baby girl. Naturally I started bawling. He was able to cut the cord and the pediatrician on staff in the OR took some lovely photos of it all. 

By the end of it all, 32 hours of labour (from the start of my regular contractions) and a birth plan flipped completely upside down we finally had Wiggles in our arms. Our baby girl, Ella, perfect in every way, and just as wiggly as she was inside me.

My REAL Life With Baby

14 days late, 32 hours of labour (from the start of contractions) and an unplanned c-section later we finally welcomed a beautiful little girl into our family.

And then REAL life set in, and set in hard.

Here's the snapshot of what my actual life looks like on a daily basis now that our lil wiggles is here (and by the way, she is just as wiggly as we thought she would be)

Personal Hygiene

What is that again? I do manage to get a shower in everyday but that's about as far as it goes. On a daily basis I can be found walking around the house in my massive black granny panties with a huge ass pad strapped to them. Undies pulled up all the way to my belly button and covering a remarkable amount of real estate on my back side. I pair with that a sports bra and a tank top that is usually accessorized with wet spots on my boobs. I am sweaty the vast majority of the day and often forget to brush my teeth.

Sleep, Or Lack Thereof

How many times have you heard someone say "enjoy your sleep now" to a pregnant person or expecting couple. We heard that a lot and its obviously true but could you be any more vague? The real version of lack of sleep (at least for us) is the fact that from about 10pm - 3am she loves to feed and hates to settle down. There are nights where she cannot be settled down enough to actually sleep for more than 15 minutes. Steve and I essentially trade off when she can't be settled and eventually she tires herself out and will sleep. So yes, for a good portion of the night we are lucky to get 30 minutes of continuous sleep.

Buddha Belly

I never should have had high expectations for immediate weight loss after birth. Even after having an 8lb baby, all the fluid being drained and the placenta being removed I still only lost about 10lbs in the first week. We were in the hospital for 5 days after surgery, not because of me but because Ella wasn't getting enough food and was dropping too much weight.When we got home I got on the scale and found myself disappointed by the number. Numbers aside the shape and squishyness of my belly is probably the worst part. When we are driving and turn a corner or hit a bump my whole belly jiggles and wobbles. It's super lame and I cannot wait for it to tighten up. The reality of a post pregnancy belly isn't pretty. For me, I have multiple "rolls". From my lady bits to my incision is one lump of swelling, from incision to a couple inches below my belly button is another roll then from there up to my boobs is one big soft and squishy buddha belly. When I lay on my back it goes pretty flat (albeit still really soft) but as soon as I roll to a side it all falls to the side. I'm actually dealing with this no problem because I know its normal but I am dying to get my tight tummy back.

On the way...

I will be doing an entry regarding my induction, labour and delivery but my time to blog is few and far between. 

Week 41: Woah Now! What was that gush!?

Quick Recap: Still pregnant. What? You're looking for more detail? Big, more stretch marks (ugh), puffy feet again, walking a lot and eating lots of spicy food.

Peanut's Progression: Just growing. Doc estimates about 8.5 lbs. Still happy and healthy.

So I'm Over Due... Now What?

As per first baby protocol, our little wiggles is taking their sweet ass time arriving. Good thing I was SURE I would be early! No offense to my doctor, because I love him dearly, but I am SO sick of seeing him! At this point I see him every 3 days or so. Everything measures normally, baby's heart rate is strong and normal, and my good old cervix is still stuck at 1cm (although it is thinner).

I've become much more emotional after my appointments now because I am so desperate to have made more progress and for him to think I'm on my way to labour. The best cure for this has been to get my butt outside and run errands or go for a nice walk, mostly anything to keep my mind off going into labour.

As for technicalities, once you reach 1 week past due you should go in for an ultrasound and an NST (non stress test). I had both of mine today. The ultrasound is very fast. They are simply checking to ensure baby is surrounded by enough fluid. They often also check that your placenta and cord are still functioning well and supporting baby. The NST monitors baby's heart rate for 20 - 40 minutes and you push a button each time baby moves. They then compare the heart rate and the movements. Each time the baby moves the heart rate should increase and then reduce again.

Wiggles was good on both accounts. Really good NST and there is lots of fluid.

OMG What was that gush!?

What exactly does it feel like when your waters break? Who knows!? I sure don't but I certainly had a moment today thinking mine may have ruptured. We left the doctors office and before we even drove out of the parking lot I felt a small gush of fluid followed by another. I probably could have assumed that it was from my internal but the sensation didn't sit quite right with me.

Close your eyes, too much information coming your way.

On top of the fluid feeling, it was also bright red. If it was indeed my waters breaking that could have indicated bleeding of the placenta. So, I decided to wait until I was already at the hospital to ask about it and my short appointment turned into a couple hours. The trouble with doing this in the hospital is that there are only so many maternity doctors and well, babies come first. Of course while I was waiting someone else's lil munchkin decided to arrive so I had to wait for the delivery to finish before I could see the doctor. How jealous was I!?

If you are unsure if your waters have broken they have a couple different methods of checking. First is a paper test, it changes colour to indicate amniotic fluid (the problem here is that other things, like blood, can cause a false positive.) So the second option is to take fluid directly from your cervix, just like in a pap, and look at it under a microscope.

My test came back negative and I was sent home.

Early Labour Perhaps?

The doctor as the hospital left me with one thought, "I'd be surprised if we didn't see you back here this weekend"

Music to my ears! This morning I was woken up twice with a single contraction. At 6am, after waking for the second time, I couldn't get back to sleep because I was sure there would be another contraction and I wanted to time it. That contraction never came :(

After my appointment this morning, I began to have low back pain. That, coupled with the contractions and my possible "bloody show" today gave the hospital doc the idea that I may be entering early labour and would likely have the baby before my induction date! I don't dare hold my breath but that would be lovely!

Week 40: Yup, Still Pregnant

Quick Recap: 166lbs. Up 41 lbs from pre-pregnancy. Bit more pressure on pelvis from baby. Same ol Same ol for the most part. Still at 1cm dilated. Effaced to 2cm (I'll explain that later). Lots of braxton hicks when walking.

Peanut's Progression: Should be around 20inches long. Doctor estimates baby weighs about 8lbs. Heart rate was 136.

Dilation vs Effacement

Everyone always talks about "how far are you dilated" when really that actually doesn't matter nearly as much as how much you have effaced. I had no idea but your cervix is actually about 5 cm long (or thick, depending how you think of it) and before you give birth it completely thins out which means it is easier for it to stretch. Makes sense if you think about it. If you had two stretchy items, one 5cm think and one less than 1cm, it would be MUCH easier to stretch the thinner one.

So, that being said, my doctor is much more focused on how effaced I am. At this point I'm measuring about 2cm. Again, moving in the right direction but in his words "I'll see you next week" and he didn't mean in the hospital.

Maternity Leave in BC

What a process!!! If you happen to be a salaried employee consider yourself incredibly lucky! Applying for your EI will be much simpler. For me, I work part time and do a fair amount of overtime/fill in work. My paychecks can vary quite a lot. Services Canada made a change to EI as of last April which causes more work for your when applying but means you will get more money from them. Well worth the extra effort.

For Vancouver, you are able to enter in your 22 highest paid weeks (not pay periods) and that will bring up your average income and help offset any of the weeks where you may not have made very much money. Now here comes the annoying part. I would say 99% of employers don't pay you weekly so figuring out how much you made each week takes a bit of time. I had to go back through all of my timesheets to add up the hours, over time and holiday pay manually and then sort it from highest paid to lowest paid. Then adding into the system when applying is a whole other project.

I'll be happy I did it when we have more money coming in though.

The Hardest Part

Today is my due date, as if that means anything. No sign that labour is near. I am coping well but I would be more than happy to have contractions start at any moment. Before I actually say what the hardest part is let me preface it with a disclaimer. I am SO thankful for the large support group I have, so many family and friends are beyond excited for baby to arrive and are really involved in a great way. That being said, every day that goes by I get more and more messages asking if baby is here yet.

No matter how many times you tell friends and family "I will text you if something changes" it is still impossible for them not to ask. I have been that person so I understand it comes from a place a love. They are so excited to meet the little one and want to reach out to see how you are feeling. The trouble is, they don't realize that several other people are doing the same thing everyday and that almost every morning and night I feel frustrated that nothing has changed and baby is still stuck inside. I want nothing more than to be able to send that text and say "we are at the hospital, we'll let you know when baby arrives".

Now after all that, don't you dare stop sending me texts and messages and calling. I want to hear from you and I love to hear from you, just don't take it personally if I come across a bit crabby when I respond.

Week 39: I'm Not Nesting, I'm Bored Out Of My Mind!

Quick Recap: Weight has plateaued. Been sitting at 165 for a few weeks now. Belly is about 42 inches around. ALERT ALERT! Too much information coming at you in 3...2...1... Cervix is soft and dilated about 1cm. Lots of braxton hicks. Sleeping kinda sucks. Peeing way more than last week. Found more stretch marks.

Peanut's Progression: At this point Wiggles is just hanging out and enjoying the ride. More neural connections are made everyday but let's be real, he/she is just fuckin around in there, punching my cervix and kicking my ribs. Happy as a clam. And the lil bugger hasn't really dropped deep enough into my pelvis to start labour. Maybe tomorrow?

Maternity Leave = Bored as Hell = Nesting (or so I'm told)

Saturday marked my first day of maternity leave and naturally I found a million things to do! While I was still working I cherished my couple days off and chose to do little to nothing, now that I have literally nothing to do except relax I clearly have to do anything else BUT relax!

I managed to clean the whole kitchen, which doesn't mean put away dishes and wipe the counters. It means wipe all the cabinets and handles, wash and bleach the garbage bin, reorganize some cabinets, wipe down every appliance etc etc etc. Then of course there was laundry to do. And while I was at it I made sure to vacuum and then obviously noticed that the hall closet was in disrepair and would not function with our winter coats front and center. I refolded every towel and sheet, and reordered our coats for spring.

So tell me again what this nesting business is? Ok ok I know I'm nesting but part of this really is because I'm so bored. People keep telling me to rest but c'mon do you really expect me to park my ass on the couch for 12 hours a day watching tv or reading? That is NOT going to happen. Besides, I'm pregnant not sick. I may be slower and walk more like a penguin than I did before but I'm feeling great and may as well take advantage!

Cook, Cook, Cookin up a Storm!

What else do you do when you're bored and cleaning doesn't sound appealing, COOK! Make a crap load of freezer meals for those days when you aren't functioning well enough to even boil water.

For about $100, I made approximately 15 servings of meat lasagna, 6 servings of chicken cacciatore and 8 servings of beef chili. So that averages about $3.50 a serving. I'm sure if we added coupons to the mix we could have made it cheaper but I'm just happy to have a stock of food that just need to be defrosted and put in the oven (not the chili though).

Just today I made some healthy muffins too. Loaded up with zucchini and carrot! We'll pop those in the freezer too and will be great for a quick snack. 

Mirrors Are NOT Your Friend

I haven't seen my lady bits in months nor can I see my belly below what used to be my cute innie of a belly button. Which by the way, is SO popped that its actually flat now!

So before you get this visual of me trying to see my lady bits, that isn't where I'm going with this! I decided I needed to know for sure if I also had stretch marks (as I suspected I did) below my belly button. Since my skin is so stretched right now it's tough to tell but the stretch marks are shiny so if you get the light right you can see whats going on. I never should have grabbed that mirror. Of course I was right and I have a whole bunch of shiny squiggly lines below my belly button. I'm only left wondering what they will look like once my skin isn't a taute as a face lift gone wrong.

Breastfeeding Class

Fraser Health offers a 2 hour FREE breastfeeding class. It fills up quickly so I would recommend booking yourself in a about 3 months ahead of time.

It is super informative and full of great tips and tricks and really explains all the benefits of breastfeeding. My one criticism is that it really pushes only breastfeeding and discourages any kind of supplementation including breast milk in a bottle.

Obviously a breast feeding class is going to push "breast is best" and push it hard however I do think it can put some unnecessary pressure on Mom to feel like she has to be exclusively breast feeding for at bare minimum 6 months and if she doesn't then she is failing her baby. I hope to avoid formula at all costs because I would rather feed my baby what she/he is meant to have from nature. That being said, I also want the freedom to have a break and for Steve to enjoy feedings as well. I fully intend to pump so that we can share the responsibility of feeding and so that if I want to do back to back yoga classes I can do that because there will be a bottle of breast milk for the babe at home with Daddy.

I suppose I would leave you with one thought, sign up for informational purposes but in the end take it all with a grain of salt and remember, you need to do what is best for you and your baby and your family as a whole. And if that isn't what 1 person preaches, that is ok!


8 days left, but who's counting?!

Week 38: Counting Down!

Quick Recap: Uber emotional. No weight gain. Grease monkey hair. Car seat installed.

Peanut's Progression: Doc estimates the baby is about 6.25lbs. Should be around 19-20 inches. Still just getting chubby and bigger each day.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

Oh! Hi there pregnancy hormones! I've missed you! NOT!!! On Monday, for absolutely NO reason, I could not contain my tears. Any remotely sad song, cry. Think about our baby, cry. Something good happens, cry. Something not so good happens, cry. Cry cry cry cry cry!

This whole week my emotions have been quite topsy turvy. Happy one moment and depressed the next. Thankfully the happy moments outweigh the sad ones.

Give Me My Old Clothes Back!

I just want to wear my old clothes again! I've been wearing the same 5 tank tops for the past 6 months and I am SO OVER IT! Leggings, while SO comfortable. OVER IT! Give me back my skinny jeans!!! Maternity clothes are some of the most comfortable items I've ever owned but I can't wait to go shopping in my own closet again! There are so many great dresses and tops and JEANS I want to wear again.

Obviously I know that it will take a bit more time after baby arrives for those clothes to fit again but it will be nice to be one step closer.

Just a Grease Monkey

I'm not sure if its a weather thing or a hormone thing but for the past week I can no longer go more than 1 day without washing my hair. I'm assuming that using a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner is completely unnecessary since my body is secreting more oils than usual. I have really noticed in the past month or two the lack of shedding as well. I read early on that you don't lose hair while you are pregnant but it took a while for that to happen for me. Now, I quite literally do not lose any hair! Steve even commented that he's noticed it missing from his clothes.

Itchy and Numb

The worst thing ever when you are itchy is not being able to feel a scratch. The numbness probably started 2 weeks ago but I just started really noticing it this week. Back when I was 15 I had my appendix removed, after the surgery I was left with some minor spots of numbness on my stomach that eventually went away. Until now. Although this time around it has nothing to do with surgery and everything to do with this big round belly!

As your belly grows your spine curves more to offset your posture so that you don't fall over. This correction can sometimes pinch nerves and cause numbness. The area around my bellybutton is now completely numb and let me just tell you, when my skin gets itchy, there is nothing more frustrating than not being able to feel a nice scratch sensation to relieve that itch.

The Glider Fiasco

Finally our glider chair has arrived. The first one we ordered came very badly damaged so we sent it back. Sadly the colour combination is out of stock everywhere, even directly from the manufacturer. We settled on a light denim cushion and white wood. It's a bit more blue than I would have liked but at this point I am just happy to have something comfy to sit in for future feedings and cuddle times.

2 weeks left.... c'mon lil baby time to get out!

Week 37: Wow! This Baby sure is Loved!

The favour I made for the Baby Shower

Quick Recap: 164lbs (up 39lbs from prepregnancy). Feeling big and awkward. Group B Strep negative (whoo!). Labour and delivery class. Hospital tour. Baby Shower!! :)

Peanut's Progression: Officially full term (ok time to come out now!).19.25 inches. 6.3lbs. All organs ready for the outside world.

Labour and Delivery Class

The only thing my doctor has really hounded me about is signing up for a labour and delivery class. At $50 a couple I was hesitant because I figured I could just read it all on the internet. I ended up signing us up for the class and it was well worth the $50.

If you will be delivering at Langley I highly recommend you take this class (I'll put the contact details below). Two nurses (Trudy and Sandra) teach it and they are just fabulous! They have both been working in the maternity ward of Langley for 10+ years and are very funny and sweet.

A lot of the information given I already had a good idea about (mostly because of my pregnancy app obsession) but it was a great refresher and reminder that all my questions and concerns are totally normal. The most impactful part of the class was learning that my goals for birth are very closely aligned with those of the hospital. They want to keep baby and mom and dad together as much as possible. They even wait for the cord to stop pulsing before cutting it (I was shocked that they adopted this idea and it seems to be a more midwife/naturalistic viewpoint).

You will leave with a much clearer understanding of what to expect and probably feel more confident too!

If you are interested in taking their class (and are delivering at Langley Memorial Hospital) their number is: 604-229-2241

Hospital Tour

This was mediocre. It started off with a bitter taste in my mouth because of a nurse in maternity. I was told when I booked the tour to go to the maternity ward, so I did. I was greeted not so pleasantly by a nurse who told me (as if I should know) I needed to go to the basement. Well I don't know about you but thankfully, I haven't been in that hospital for 8 ish years, and I have no idea what floor you consider the basement. Sometimes I think staff at hospitals forget that this is a place most people (hopefully) don't have to visit very often and they probably have NO idea where anything is.

Anywho, once I finally made it to the correct room the nurse leading the tour was, well, more like one of those teachers you hated in high school. Instead of telling you what you needed to know, she insisted on asking everyone. "Who knows when to call the hospital?" "Do you swaddle babies still?" etc etc... It felt like high school all over again. I was more annoyed than usual because, well, let's recap... I'm 164lbs of big bulging belly, in short shorts because I can't help but sweat ALL THE TIME, I'm sticking to these vinyl seats because I wore shorts, my boobs are itching and I sure as hell won't be scratching in front of these strangers and my brain hardly functions regarding topics I know like the back of my hand. And you want me to answer questions about something YOU are the expert on?! Don't waste my time, just tell me what I need to know and show me where to waddle myself to.

The GOOD part about the tour was, well, the tour! It was nice to see the actual ward (even though its under renovation and could look totally different when I get there). We were shown really helpful things like where to keep our snacks and food, where hubby can get extra linens and ice packs for our tender bits after birth. Seeing the rooms was great too. I was surprised how spacious they are and I was SO excited to find it had a bath tub. Momma loves herself some baths so you best believe I'll be in that tub during labour. Now if only we could add a glass of wine to the mix!!

BABY SHOWER!!!

WOW! That is the only way I can start this section. I have never felt so loved or so special (except when Steve proposed of course). Until the past couple years I've always struggled to keep friendships alive. I didn't try very hard to keep in touch and also never felt that they put the effort in either. Something switched when I moved away and I got so much better at keeping in touch, maybe it was because I was so lonely living in a city where I knew no one. It was a change for the better and I must admit I just can't get over how much support I really have in my life.

As a self professed control freak it was SOOO hard to ignore the planning process and just let my girls take over. My bridesmaids took care of everything with some help from the grandma's to be and a few others. I can't express my awe at everything they did for me and baby. They remembered how much I've loved sour keys and used them as part of a game. They had a custom cake made with the PERFECT elephant to go on top. Filled the room with balloons and streamers and had so many delicious things to eat! Even got a whole pile of classic kids books and had guests write message in them.

Speaking of guests, I had no idea so many people would want to come and celebrate our little baby with me. I was truly touched by how generous our guests were and how truly thoughtful their gifts were. My only regret is not being able to talk to everyone more. I sat that night reading through the messages guests wrote in books for Wiggles and felt guilty for missing out on some of our guests. I can only reassure myself that there will be plenty of visits once the lil monkey is here and lots of time to talk then.

I've entered the last 3 weeks of this journey with a very full heart (and belly, that cake was SO yummy!)

Week 36: You're Putting That Q-Tip Where!?

Quick Recap: Weight 162lbs. Now weekly Dr. appointments. First stretch mark. Insatiable hunger. Friggen pelvis pain.

Peanut's Progression: Almost 19inches. 5.75 lbs. Head down still. Getting fatter every day.

Give Me More FOOOOOD!!!!

OMG I didn't know it was possible to feel so hungry! Thankfully I'm not like this everyday but my god there isn't enough food in the house to possibly satisfy my hunger.

According to the books, around this time I should experience "lightening" which basically just means the baby drops a bit and my stomach and lungs get more space again. I haven't really noticed any change in the shape of my belly but then again I've haven't carried high so I'm not sure I would notice anyways. If I really think about it, breathing isn't as challenging and I certainly can stuff WAY more food in my face now.

Stretch Marks

Don't worry Christina I'm not going to tear you to shreds here for pointing out my first stretch mark :). Despite my constant belly inspection I never noticed the new addition on my skin, perhaps I was too busy counting all the silly little bumps I have. I consider myself quite lucky that it took until 35 weeks for any stretch marks to show up but it doesn't mean I wasn't annoyed about it.

In fact the whole thing went down like this... "Ok thanks for coming over Stina! Have a great night." I close the door and immediately go to my bathroom and begin the inspections. "Stretch mark!? Where!? How could I have missed it!!! THERE IT IS! Mother fucker. Stupid friggen stretch mark" Cue the pouty face. I have a moment of distress over this stupid mark but then immediately let it go. Wow! I've made some serious progress. Weeks ago that pout would have turned into a full fledged ugly cry meltdown, probably resulting in spending the rest of the night lotioning up my stomach.

I blame my 16 year old self for getting a belly button ring. I took the piercing out several years ago but that ended up being exactly where the stretch mark showed up. Makes sense I suppose since there is scar tissue there not to mention the fact that my belly button couldn't possibly push out any farther from my stomach.

The good news is there are only 2 and they are less than an inch each and pretty hard to notice. 

Group B Strep Test

Short and sweet. WHY didn't any of the books mention this!? 36 weeks and you get a q-tip swabbed into places you would rather it not. I suppose at this point I really shouldn't be surprised by anything anymore.



Baby is full term next week!

Week 35: NO! Not another Sneeze!!!

Quick Recap: Weight still steady at 160lbs. More fatigued. Back to the sour key craving. Now on meds for my barf burps

Peanut's Progression: All major organs nearly complete. Light hair called lanugo is all gone. Still fattening up.18 inches long. 5.25lbs

Beware The Sneeze!

Seriously! I never thought sneezing could be so terrifying! For my whole life I've been a 3 sneezer. It is super unusual for me to sneeze only once. That little fact makes sneezing that much scarier for me. Why? Bladder Leakage! That's why! At 28 years old, pregnancy has made me a senior citizen. Not only do I roll out of bed like I'm 80, walk slower than people 3 times my age and have to sit with lumbar support but now I also can't seem to clench hard enough to keep things contained while sneezing.

I suppose when I bought my massive pads for post pregnancy I also should have picked up some adult underwear. That satisfaction you feel after a good sneeze is now replaced with the thought of "ah shit, did I dribble?!". Perhaps this is my punishment for being able to still get through an entire night without having to get up to pee. You can't have it all ladies!

Hey Hey! Look at me!! Notice ME!!!

Did someone install a neon sign over my head when I wasn't looking?? Does it happen to say "HEY! Talk to me! Mention my belly! NOTICE ME!"?? Sure feels like it. I literally cannot go anywhere in public without questions now. That being said, everyone has been very kind and non invasive but sometimes I just want to go pick up groceries and not talk about pregnancy. I've been talking about it for 8 1/2 months!

I ran some errands the other day and out of the 3 stores I was in, I received at least 1 comment in each.

Canadian Tire - Sales lady was walking me to find burlap and passed a guy, asked if we were together (super random) he says "no, but I sure hope she has someone". Could you imagine if I didn't have a lovely man to come home to?! I probably would have burst into overly emotional irrational tears!

Walmart - Cashier asks how long I have left. I answer just about a month. Granny behind me says "Oh wow! That much still!?" this makes me chuckle... Especially because I've been about the same size for a solid month now. (ps - she thinks its a girl, and according to her Grandmas are always right)

Fabricland - Some random dude in front of me in line says, "6 months pregnant?" HAHAHAHAHAHA oh god! Yes, because men have even the slightest idea of what a 3 month/6 month/9 month belly looks like. I actually laughed out loud after he said it and replied "oh gosh no, much farther than that thank god!" His wifey, clearly the more intelligent one, laughs and says "that means, get this thing out". The best part about this one was that his comment essentially told me I looked small which is a welcome compliment for me!

Barf Burps Be Gone!

After visiting my doc last week and asking about exactly how many tums I could take in a day he ended up prescribing me something for my raging silent reflux. It's basically Zantac but in prescription form, called Ranitidine. Quite safe for pregnancy and has certainly helped tremendously. I just take 1 in the am and 1 at night. I still very occasionally feel some discomfort but 90% of the time I have no pain at all. And that need to burp all the time!? GONE! Something tells me Steve is happy about that.

The Age of Over Protection

If we don't stop this madness the next generation will be one that won't take risks, make decisions on their own and will lack any sort of social finesse. Do I have your attention yet?

I saw a Facebook status that caught my attention this week, more than they usually do. It was a status regarding the book "Perks of Being a Wallflower". I have NOT read this book although it's definitely on my must read list now. The status was from someone who is outraged that this book is assigned reading because it contains "offensive content". Again, I haven't read it but it apparently contains content about rape and other sexual topics.

This book has been approved by the school district and is assigned to grade 10 students (age 15). Sure, reading this kind of content may not be comfortable and certainly not for parents when your teen asks you questions about it. BUT isn't it much more valuable to take that opportunity to educate them about rape and sex and the nitty gritty of it. One way or the other kids/teens are going to find this information and I would much rather them read about it in school where they can have a good discussion about it and come home to also talk about it with their parents. Ignoring those topics will not make them go away. My guy and I have discussed sheltering our children many times and share the same opinion that in today's world kids are held back in too many ways.

Our children are no less capable of assessing dangerous situations than we were. I was walking to and from school around age 8, by myself (although my Mom did follow me the first day to make sure I was ok) and staying at home alone by age 10. I was taught exactly what to do if I ran into a scary situation. I survived and so will our kids. I'm not actually convinced that there are more predators lurking in out streets now than there were 10, 20 or 30 years ago. I simply think that we are exposed to more stories of it because we have so many more news sources at our finger tips.

For a second think back the last time you learned something new, as an adult. While you were training someone was likely there beside you to help guide you through the process. If that person is always beside you you will never make the decision entirely on your own. You will always seek out their "ok". When they did leave you alone to do your new task, you remembered what they taught you and applied it correctly. Kids are the exact same. They will always look to you for direction if you are always there, sometimes you just have to let them do it on their own, even if it is the scariest thing ever for you.

I'm sure someone, somewhere is thinking right now, "you don't have your child yet, you don't understand" and you're right. My baby isn't here and I don't truly understand what it is to let your child go at it on their own. But what I do know is that in my opinion that is what's best for them. I want my child to be independent and self-sufficient and to grow into a successful and confident adult.

My other gripe/concern about today's society is our disdain for discipline and our inability to let our children fight their own battles. When it comes to discipline I'm not saying beat your children every time they disobey but I am saying that a gentle conversation about it doesn't cut it. Actions have consequence, end of story. If kids never learn that how do you think they will react when they screw up at work as an adult and are fired. The words "it's not fair" comes to mind. Life isn't fair. And how do you expect for them to learn to deal with conflict on their own in a healthy way if you never let them sort it out themselves. Yes, they do need a certain amount of guidance for how to properly deal with certain conflicts but when it comes right down to it they should be resolving it on their own rather than having adults do it for them.


I intend on working my butt off to teach my kids as many lessons as possible and to give them all the trust they deserve. I am a total control freak so it's going to be a huge uphill battle for me to let go and let them do it themselves. It will be hard, I will cry, they will make mistakes and it will be worth it.

Week 34: Massive Pads and Granny Panties!

Quick Recap: Still hovering at 160lbs. Very achy pelvis. Swollen hands. Baby feeders leaking slightly.

Peanut's Progression: Hearing is fully developed. About 5 lbs. 18 inches. Gaining more fat to regulate body temperature. Central nervous system still developing but lungs are almost completely mature.

Packing the Hospital Bag

6 weeks out and we figured it was a good time to starting packing our hospital bag. The one issue I've come across is that many of the things I want to bring I will also use or wear in the next 6 weeks. So maybe the best idea is to make a list of the items not yet in the bag but that I want to take (and where they are so it's easier on everyone)

So far we have packed:

-change of clothes for Steve
-pillow for each of us
-nursing pj's
-diapers/wipes
-couple onesies
-camera with charger
-toiletries (chapstick, lotion, shampoo/conditioner, facecloth, pads, toothbrush/paste, brush)
-big black granny panties (soooo sexy!)

Still to add:

-slippers and robe
-change of clothes for me
-phone chargers/phone
-kobo
-water bottle
-snacks
-hot water bottle
-sweat pants and hoodie


Buying Big Ol Pads

It has been YEARS since I've even looked at buying pads but I know I'll need them post pregnancy so I may as well buy them now. It's been so long since I've bought them I actually googled what kind were best for post pregnancy. Found an interesting tidbit. While Always makes the nicest ones, thin and super absorbent they also have that mesh like covering which could potentially grab on to any stitches you have. Something I never would have thought of. I opted for the generic brand from Walmart, they were cheap at less than $5 for 32 pads. I also made sure to get pads with wings, for me it gives me more peace of mind that this massive stack of cotton on my crotch will stay in place.

While We're At It, Let's Get Granny Panties!!!

This advice comes straight from my friend who recently had her beautiful son and ended up with an emergency c-section.


DO NOT buy low cut briefs in an attempt to have cuter undies. If you do end up with a cesarean the top of the underwear could be too close to your incision for comfort. Do your post pregnant self a favour and buy full bottom hi waisted BLACK underwear. I'll never understand why they even make white underwear. I mean they never stay white for long and they certainly won't after pregnancy. At least with black ones even if you have a leak overnight or have excess bleeding it wont be so obvious. And besides its not like you'll be keeping these sexy undies around for use later on. Opt for comfort now and treat yourself to some sexy new ones later on.

One final note: Doctor finally referenced, for the first time, that my weight has been "just fine" HA! 34 weeks in, about time!

Week 33: Is It Over Yet?!

Quick Recap: Ultrasound. Weight steady. Grumpy. Tired. Emotional. Uncomfortable. Really sore pelvis. Burning throat and lump all the time.

Peanut's Progression: Per ultrasound estimate 4 lbs 13oz. 17 inches long. Skeleton is hardening. Rapid weight gain will start to slow next month.

7 More Weeks of THIS!? UGGGGH

I was really hoping I wouldn't get annoyed with pregnancy until closer to the end. I've had several days this week where I wished it was all over and done with. Walking is now really more of a waddle, especially when I first get up from sitting. I may as well be 50 years older the way my joints stiffen up. My pelvis has decided to start acting up again and in a whole new level of discomfort. I rarely sleep without 5 or more interruptions. My acid reflux is super duper lame and means my throat hurts all day every day and even wakes me up at night.

To sum it up, I'm grumpy as all hell. Really though, I have nothing to bitch about, my pregnancy has been quite easy but I am so done already. When I think that I have to do this for another 7 weeks I am utterly exhausted at the thought.

The bright side? I still have 7 weeks to go and good thing because lord knows I DO NOT have everything I need, nor is anything organized enough.

Last Ultrasound

We had our last ultrasound with our specialist this week. Honestly it was kind of disappointing. For some reason we had a different doctor this time and although he was quite nice he wasn't nearly as charismatic as the last one. At the last appointment she made sure to mention that I shouldn't do a 3D ultrasound (and pay for it) because she would give me pictures next time. Well I didn't really think that through. If I had given it any thought I would have realized we are probably too far along to get good images. Baby is just too crowded. The doctor did try to get a face shot for us after I asked but baby is head down face down so it wasn't possible.

Even though we didn't really get to see much of the baby this time it was nice to find out that the placental lake that was once measured at 8cm wide is now much much smaller, so much smaller in fact that the doctor said it wouldn't even be something he included in a report. Yay! And to top it off our lil wiggles is growing right on schedule. Everything looks good and is within a normal growth range. Go wiggles go!  

Silent Reflux aka Barf Burps 

I have finally found some relief from the dreaded barf burps! This past week has been a rough one in terms of throat pain. After many Google searches I decided to try taking Tums daily as a preventative measure. Small meals and staying upright weren't helping so it was worth a try. Almost immediately I felt better! I purchased the Ultra strength Tums and can take up to 3 a day. I take one in the morning, then afternoon and then before bed.

It has made a huge difference. I no longer NEED to burp after eating and the lump in my throat is gone! I'm only 1 day in and feel so much better! One last note, if you have heartburn choose an antacid made from calcium bicarbonate not sodium bicarbonate, the sodium will increase water retention and our feet are fat enough already!

Also, after speaking with my doctor I was cleared to take up to 5 tums a day, after that you risk an excess of calcium in your system and that can cause kidney stones.