If we don't stop this madness the next generation will be one that won't take risks, make decisions on their own and will lack any sort of social finesse. Do I have your attention yet?
I saw a Facebook status that caught my attention this week, more than they usually do. It was a status regarding the book "Perks of Being a Wallflower". I have NOT read this book although it's definitely on my must read list now. The status was from someone who is outraged that this book is assigned reading because it contains "offensive content". Again, I haven't read it but it apparently contains content about rape and other sexual topics.
This book has been approved by the school district and is assigned to grade 10 students (age 15). Sure, reading this kind of content may not be comfortable and certainly not for parents when your teen asks you questions about it. BUT isn't it much more valuable to take that opportunity to educate them about rape and sex and the nitty gritty of it. One way or the other kids/teens are going to find this information and I would much rather them read about it in school where they can have a good discussion about it and come home to also talk about it with their parents. Ignoring those topics will not make them go away. My guy and I have discussed sheltering our children many times and share the same opinion that in today's world kids are held back in too many ways.
Our children are no less capable of assessing dangerous situations than we were. I was walking to and from school around age 8, by myself (although my Mom did follow me the first day to make sure I was ok) and staying at home alone by age 10. I was taught exactly what to do if I ran into a scary situation. I survived and so will our kids. I'm not actually convinced that there are more predators lurking in out streets now than there were 10, 20 or 30 years ago. I simply think that we are exposed to more stories of it because we have so many more news sources at our finger tips.
For a second think back the last time you learned something new, as an adult. While you were training someone was likely there beside you to help guide you through the process. If that person is always beside you you will never make the decision entirely on your own. You will always seek out their "ok". When they did leave you alone to do your new task, you remembered what they taught you and applied it correctly. Kids are the exact same. They will always look to you for direction if you are always there, sometimes you just have to let them do it on their own, even if it is the scariest thing ever for you.
I'm sure someone, somewhere is thinking right now, "you don't have your child yet, you don't understand" and you're right. My baby isn't here and I don't truly understand what it is to let your child go at it on their own. But what I do know is that in my opinion that is what's best for them. I want my child to be independent and self-sufficient and to grow into a successful and confident adult.
My other gripe/concern about today's society is our disdain for discipline and our inability to let our children fight their own battles. When it comes to discipline I'm not saying beat your children every time they disobey but I am saying that a gentle conversation about it doesn't cut it. Actions have consequence, end of story. If kids never learn that how do you think they will react when they screw up at work as an adult and are fired. The words "it's not fair" comes to mind. Life isn't fair. And how do you expect for them to learn to deal with conflict on their own in a healthy way if you never let them sort it out themselves. Yes, they do need a certain amount of guidance for how to properly deal with certain conflicts but when it comes right down to it they should be resolving it on their own rather than having adults do it for them.
I intend on working my butt off to teach my kids as many lessons as possible and to give them all the trust they deserve. I am a total control freak so it's going to be a huge uphill battle for me to let go and let them do it themselves. It will be hard, I will cry, they will make mistakes and it will be worth it.
No comments:
Post a Comment